Eva Longoria puts on suntan lotion, I weep

February 18th, 2008 // 91 Comments

I don’t really need to explain why I posted these pics of Eva Longoria wearing a bikini in Mexico. It’s Eva Longoria in a bikini. But they also promote the importance of wearing suntan lotion. I’m surprised people aren’t showing these photos to kids. Protection from UV rays is serious business. I should get down to the playground and be a hero. But it’s kind of nippy out. *puts on ski mask and trench coat* All set. This should go well.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Brian J

    Dip her in choloate and call it dessert. oh FIRST

  2. stephanie

    first
    eva longoria is gogeous

  3. Auntie Kryst

    Did I just fuckin’ see a crucifix tramp stamp? Oh fucking hell! WHORE! Beyond doucheness, I need a new description.

  4. Ethan

    No tits. Blah

  5. jordan

    she looks slippery, right? and lindseys gross btw

  6. micros101

    first ….for me to poop on

  7. Ryan

    She’s worthless. Looks like some sort of rat dog. No redeeming qualities at all.

  8. @7 What redeeming qualities do you have??

  9. skins

    ya know what they say…once a garden gnome, always a garden gnome…

    wake up people shes not hot!!!

    She wears more makeup than a corpse in a casket

  10. Ted from LA

    #8,
    He is the host of American Idol. How’s that for you?!

  11. lucifer's left nut

    I’M SURPRISED THAT SHE TANS CONSIDERING HOW SHE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT HOW TRAUMATIZED SHE WAS AS A CHILD BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS THE DARKEST ONE. I’M SURE THEY ONLY APPROVE OF HER MARRYING A NEGRO CAUSE HE’S RICH. BIGOTS LET THEIR LITTLE “DAUGHTERS” GO QUICK TO ANY TAKERS IF THERE’S A LOT OF MONEY INVOLVED.

  12. Ted from LA

    #11,
    Educated people stopped using the word “negro” in 1954.

  13. havoc

    Christ, she got fat……..

    .

  14. lipper

    Ok, I wish I looked so bad wet. The bitch.

    And I have a tat on my lower back, and I’m no skank thank you very much. Don’t you guys understand why we put them there? Its NOT for you, you dirty birds.

    So kiss my “skank” ass! *strokes tat with much love*

  15. D. Richards (Masochist.)

    I wonder what Eva’s ass smells like.

    Hey, Tedro. I use the word ‘negro’. And when I pluralize the word, negro, I spell it ‘negroe’. Sometimes when I want to be funny, I call black children ‘negrows’ –’cause they’re just a growin’! I’m so educated. Not really.

  16. limper

    yeah you have to get action to be a skank

  17. 20-20

    It’s a shock to see her looking like a greasy little monkey. A shock, I tell you.

  18. Lame

    She isn’t so great…actually looks like a wet rodent. I wouldn’t do her.

  19. brian d

    wow, shes disgusting. No wonder her fugly husband cheats on her. Youd think with all that money shes would buy herself some tits.

  20. moderator

    Pretty sure #14 goes down as the douchebaggiest of douchebag comments in the history of douchebaggery.

  21. twenty

    FIRST!

  22. twenty

    FIRST!

  23. Rut Roh

    She looks hot to me. I’m a straight chica, but I see why she’s adored.
    My guess is all this animosity is being vented on her because people are still scarred by that Lindsey photoshoot.

  24. It’s like her very own public service announcement.

  25. twzzlrgirl

    Am I crazy, or does that not even remotely resemble Eva L.? I don’t think any of the pictures look like her at all.

    She looks better wet :)

  26. Chauncey Gardner

    Eva Longoria would be ‘hot’ if she was a school teacher or a bank teller, but as actresses go, she’s nothing special.

  27. S.

    I don’t think that’s SPF…it looks more like tanning oil…you know, used to roast one’s self.

  28. Not a Fan of No Talent Females and Males

    SHE SURE DOES LOOK DIFFERENT WITHOUT ALL THE AIR BRUSHING ON MAGAZINES. AND HER GIRDLE MUST DO SOME SERIOUS LIFTING OF THE BUTTOCKS LOL!

  29. awesome111person

    If Fish guy thinks she’s so hot why did he use the most unflattering picture of the set as the banner?

    Fish guy likes ‘em scrawny, I’ve noticed. No tits and what little ass she has is droopin’.

    Also, mexican peasant/rat face.

  30. deaconjones

    @26 and 28

    AGREED! Am I the only one that thinks Eva is OK?? I mean come on, I see hotter chicks at the Jersey shore.

    She looks like AHNOLD in T2 when he burned his eyebrows off in the exploding car

  31. She's fat

    She’s getting fat.

    Oh, oh, I see a lot of cellulite.

  32. buttlover44

    Girls with tramp stamps LOVE to take it up the ass on the first date.

    It’s a well know fact.

  33. blp

    So hot, I’d love her to lick my belly button while doing her in missionary.

  34. George Best

    Im not going to say shes ugly because she isnt, but I could go to the mall on a Saturday and find 10 hotter women in an hour. Shes just not that special and she is a skank to boot.

  35. Joe C

    I normally don’t advocate boob jobs, but she could really use a little help up there.

  36. ..

    She’s a pretty girl but without her makeup, like all pretty girls, she’s not.
    She also has gotten very fat. There’s a bad case of cellulite going on her ass/tights/legs.

    But compared to other Hollywood ugly skanks, she’s a fucking beauty. Next to Lohan, Eva Longoria looks like a goddess of hotness and beauty.

  37. ..

    She’s a pretty girl but without her makeup, like all pretty girls, she’s not.
    She also has gotten very fat. There’s a bad case of cellulite going on her ass/thighs/legs.

    But compared to other Hollywood ugly skanks, she’s a fucking beauty. Next to Lohan, Eva Longoria looks like a goddess of hotness and beauty.

  38. jesse

    i’d hit it. and not just because it makes me feel cool to think a chick is hot because everyone else thinks she’s hot. it’s because she’s fucking hot.

  39. ang

    She needs to spray on some insect repellent too. Looks like those two bites up top might be infected.

  40. Sammee

    She looks fine, average mexican girl or whatever she is, but glance over at those published pictures of her. Doesn’t even look like the same person.

  41. kimmy

    wow she is so much cuter without the 10 pounds of make-up. i never really thought she was attractive till i saw these pics

  42. Ryan

    #8, I have more redeeming qualities in my left testicle than her, and you for that matter.
    If she was a good actress I wouldnt say shit, but shes fucking awful at everything. Her movie trailers cant even showcase .2 seconds of any talent she has. She has none! I dont want to see her. Ever.

  43. Jamie's Uterus

    I hate this no talent skanked up twat. She’s the J-Lo of television.

  44. she is a pretty gal. but we all see that she is not as beatu as the hot gals at pinkmingle.com , they can offer us the best !! LOLO

  45. lys

    Why can’t all women age so well? Most get fat and disgustingly ugly before they even hit 30. sigh and they think they still look good since their boobs got fat like everything else…blah

  46. smokin

    yup, i’ll definitely stick my tongue in her ass.

  47. my comment

    Boring. Ugly tattoo and a face that says nothing.

  48. What?

    The Lohan pictures are hotter than THIS! Eva looks like any other beaner working at McDonald’s…

  49. skins

    That CROSS on her back is to keep Kirsten Dunst away….duhhhhh

  50. txpeach

    I, for one, thinks she looks pretty good. Sure, she’s a self-absorbed bitch who prattles on and on about herself, but visually, I think most of us would kill to look this good coming out of the water.

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