Eva Longoria points at stuff

September 13th, 2006 // 47 Comments

I can’t figure out if Eva Longoria is attractive or not. Sometimes I’m almost positive she is, but other times she has me convinced she’s a monkey. Or a man. And I made a vow to myself that I’d never again be caught masturbating to either of those.


  1. Wow, is that an Under Armour purse? We must protect these valuables.

  2. her bra could be more pointy.

  3. omgyestotally

    the pouty look definitely doesn’t work for her/him/it.

  4. Is she carrying an Under Armour purse? We must protect these valuables.

  5. She’s pointing at where her career is after she “won’t do TV” any more.

  6. whoops, sorry for the double post

  7. iheartspite

    Is she on a movie set? Cuz that’s a big ol’ sparkly diamond on her left hand. I notice these things because I am a loser whose love for sparkly things is rivaled by my love for brownie sundaes. Gah, I’m so fat.

  8. Binky

    She’s pointing out all her fans.
    Tony somebody…from France…the dribbler…

  9. nc72

    It’s all relative–makes a difference who she’s standing next to! But actually they both look kinda fugly…


  10. She looks like a spoiled brat who’s only happy when everything’s going her way …
    Sauve-toi Tony !!

  11. chrisj987

    Thank God, I thought I was the only one that thought she was plain ugly. She does look like a monkey and a short one at that. I think there should be a moratorium on her picture appearing where a real hottie’s picture should appear.

    Also, when are pointy bras going to make a comeback? And not the kind that the a*sw*pe Madonna wore.

  12. Is that Tony Parker in the background? He kinda let himself go.


  13. Team OJ

    She definetly suffers from Small Persons Disease , what tends to make even the hottest girl look dumb, hence the monkey impression. Still good for a bj though.

  14. BustaJuss

    For a second there I thought she had 2 broken arms, the way she’s holding her arm up all retardedly in her shirt , it looks like she has casts on her arms. This thread would be more interesting if both her arms were really broken…but it’s just a dumb picture of her not knowing how to wear a jacket correctly…she looks like a meerkat.

  15. Team OJ

    She definetly suffers from Small Dersons Pisease , what tends to make even the hottest girl look dumb, hence the monkey impression. Still good for a jb though.

  16. Dory

    Small Persons Disease??

  17. Dory

    Small Dersons Pisease??

  18. KelKel

    Never thought she was all that..I’m glad I wasnt the only one who thought she looked like a chimp with beady eyes

  19. InstantAsshat-AddFame

    Looks like she rented Leo DiCaprio’s big fat burnt Pillsbury Doughboy for the day. House Speaker Hastert would look small next to that guy. Hell, how about Pearl from the first “Blade” movie? He’d look smaller…

  20. Team OJ

    #17 just a term for people with ‘height’ inspired issues not sure who came up with it first.
    Sorry for double post dunno what happened Opera does weird shit at times.

  21. marie-jo

    I found the un-photoshoped pic

    Its gonna need a big ass “dr Evil” laser beam to remove that tough facial hair

  22. ch474

    For a minute there I thought it was a Posh Spice leaving the building picture after she’d been told to button up her shirt.

    You just know that Beckham would saw off his left testicle to go for a 3way with Eva and Vicky.

  23. Team OJ

    #21 “OPRAH” !!! Damn these chubby fingers.

  24. llllllllll

    cAN THIS GIRL BE ANYMORE ANNOYING?! Why can’t that big black guy with the big black shirt standing next to her eat her up and get her out of my life forever

  25. RichPort

    I don’t see the attraction, other than she looks like she can suck a fully inflated inner tube through a lugnut. Fuck that, I’d hit that like drunk driver mowing down a crowd of school children. Relax people, I’m kidding, it wouldn’t be a whole crowd… that’s asking too much with one hand on the wheel and the other on a 40 ounce of Crazy Horse…

  26. jrzmommy

    Sieg Heil!

    mean lookin’ little thing, ain’t she?

  27. Vix

    I don’t see a date for this photo, but anyone with any fashion sense knows you don’t wear white after Labor Day!!

  28. miss_fantomas

    I have that shirt she’s wearing, but I wear it for work.. not for hideous all white outfits where I demonstrate an inability to put a jacket on properly.

  29. ah…look..it’s vanna not-so-white….

  30. glaucoma


    There must be something better than this to make fun of.

  31. MustangLaura

    THERES AN EVIL MONKEY LIVING IN MY CLOSET ! Oh Wait It’s Just Eva Longoria….

  32. What a cunta. She’s probably pointing to have security remove her mother and a group of sight-seeing retarded kids from the set. The worst thing in Hollywood is when these one-note hacks act like divas off of one mediocre gig. Anthony Hopkins wants to act like a prima donna? I get it. Pacino and DeNiro want to be pricks 24/7? Sucks, but no problem. Some midget wetback dream prances around town making snide comments in magazines and fucking French basketball players? Go back to Taco Bell, you overly hairy, talentless chihuahua.

  33. Nikk The Templar

    She makes me sad. I hope she trips over her own toes and breaks her face.

  34. commissioner

    She’s just an average looking illegal where I live.

  35. Eeny meeny miney moe

  36. JoannieBalonie

    If she would admit she was a wetback fine, but she doesnt even speak spanish and she claims her ancestors are from Spain, who everybody knows, are europeans not Latino. I am embarrased for her. “overly hairy, talentless chihuahua” indeed.

  37. bigponie

    hey, check out that dance move, looks like micheal jackson on crack.

  38. James

    #5 shes mocking me when I pointed at her and said nice tits.

  39. I was recently featured in an article for the magazine First For Women with Eva on pubic hair. We had to say what we prefer and she was all about the Brazilian wax.

    Perhaps she is pointing at someone who gave her a bad one?


  40. Britney

    the bitch looks pregnant to me

  41. Larry

    Got news for ya, beb. We’re ALL monkeys.

    (SOMEONE went to high school in Kansas, I see….)

  42. natgoduk

    I think she’s pregnant! She look’s like she’s about 2 months gone. That’s the real reason why she’s hiding her belly!

  43. Fatty_McButterpants

    #33 – UNWASHEDMASSES.. I think I should correct you for your eroneous error in your post… She’s a mean whore, hairy midget, taintless wet back, pole smoking, slobber monger, has-been before her time, fuck tard, cum junky. If your gonna spout your garbage on this post, at least be accurate… Sheesh.. :/

  44. stonefoxhippie

    it’s just bad lighting!

  45. Eva, Eva….I like her even i’m wandering what she pointing at? Paparazzi?
    The thing is, she thinks she’s a star but she doesn’t know that leaving DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES will throw her right in the unknown-world she comes from.
    So funny-LOL

  46. how about a monkeyman?

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