Eva Longoria isn’t pregnant – just fat (Her words, not mine.)

September 10th, 2008 // 41 Comments

Eva Longoria wants to set the record straight: she’s not pregnant – maybe. I mean, who really knows these days? Us Magazine reports:

“I’m just fat,” she said Tuesday during an interview with Le Grand Journal with husband Tony Parker. She then burst out laughing while Parker chuckled nervously.
To make Gabrielle look like she has two kids, Longoria has said she ate “everything in sight! Pasta … pizza.”
Her other secret for looking heavier? “I have butt pads, I have thigh pads, I have stomach pads!”

Let’s get to the bottom of this chicanery: First, Eva Longoria is holding M&M’s. Everyone knows fat chicks love chocolate. Then again, so do pregnant ones. Damn. Okay, moving on; there’s the saying one thing but secretly meaning the opposite – which applies to women the world over. Sonofa- Alright, I got it. The true litmus test of whether Eva Longoria is pregnant or “just fat”: If she tricks me into having sex with her while I’m drunk – you know what? I give up. I hope it’s quadruplets.

superficial

  1. MT

    SETH IS A GIANT D!

  2. English Bob

    She’s still one of the most beautiful women in the world, fat, pregnant or not….!

  3. eldo

    most overrated chick ever.

  4. Rob

    Without her make up she is one of the ugliest women on earth.

    I’d still drop it in her ass though, ugly or not !!

  5. Lima

    She short, annoying, and a horror with out the face paint.

  6. eldo

    No ass, no tits, pretty face assisted by a pound of make up, bad legs. I mean she’s not hideous by any means, just very average. I don’t get what the obsession with her is. Maybe she should gain a little weight.
    And whats up with everybody thinking when a thin girl like Longoria puts on a few pounds she’s automatically fat? so what? she’s not a whale. Not everybody needs to be anorexic. Tits and ass are a GOOD thing.

  7. justtheobvious

    I’ll massage that fat right off her, then knock her up… just to get her money.. oh, and to make her a Milf

  8. country singer

    Where were you, on 9/11? Did you weep for the children? Did you burst out in pride for the red, white, and blue? 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11.

    Thank you very much, you’ve been a great audience. Make sure you pick up your pin from Rudy Giuliani on the way out. Good night, and 9/11 y’all!

  9. veggi

    If nothing else, 9/11 showed that New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch.

  10. Good! she thinks thats cute, parker’s cheating as we speak….”chuckle nervoursly” should tell you something!

  11. Josie

    What’s Al-Qaeda’s favorite football team?

    The New York Jets.

  12. Andy

    I wish they’d stop replaying all that 9/11 footage. It was traumatic enough the first time. The worst part is when all those people start jumping off the upper floors of the towers. I wonder what went through their minds? Their ankles, I suppose.

  13. Vote for me. I’m a radical Marxist.

  14. havoc

    I’d still nail this chick in the ass….but that’s about it.

    .

  15. You know oral injection of man-protein shouldn’t add that much weight to the thighs, or so I’m told

  16. Can garden gnomes actually get pregnant?

  17. LoLa

    I can’t stand this generic looking bitch. There’s nothing special about her. She’s a mediocre TV actress who peddles chocolate in her spare time who practically forced that ugly French-head young buck Tony Parker to marry her. If she’s preggers, fuck her. If she’s not pregnany and just another fat bitch, fuck her.

  18. Huh?

    no wonder she’s fat, she’s drinking m&m’s

  19. Facial

    she is anything but fat. If you think she’s fat thes you are a product of Hollywood brain-wash.

    That said, she is an ugly bitch when the makeup is off. I do want to shove by stiff pecker in that poop shoot though.

    check her out here:
    http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y78/ChadFinn/more%20pics%201/eva-longoria-no-makeup-03.jpg

  20. No one

    Definitely pregnant. She just happen to put on weight from M&Ms only in her gut? I don’t think so.

    (PS: Terrible dress to wear if indeed she was just “fat”).

  21. Eva Longoria's padded belly

    I guess Kim K. has brought a new pad trend to Hollyweird.

    Again, what is fat about this person? I think she is being sassy with her retort. She was emaciated before and the five pounds places her in the realm of thin. Woooooo….

    Over rated/over airbrushed- yes
    Attractive in a “I have a great stylist and make-up artist way”- check
    Fat-No

    I am sure she is still thinner and more put together than half the sloths that peruse this site.

  22. Juicy

    If she’s going to be wearing padding to make her look fat, why actually put on the weight? I image this extra weight would effect all of her modeling and product endorsements as well, and that she wouldn’t do it only for the TV show.

    I say she’s pregnant, and just being obnoxious by joking she’s fat when she really isn’t.

    And I’ve seen pics of her without makeup… very average looking!

  23. stizzef

    Ew i hate her hair like that, it looks like shit. And by the way Eva, thanks for making women all over the world feel enormous by saying that your scrawny ass is fat.

  24. Lee

    What an irresponsible thing for her to say. Looking at the pictures of her in an earlier post (http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/eva_longoria_explains_why_she.php), she is nowhere near fat. Imagine all the girls that look up to her or want to be like her thinking that if Eva Longoria is fat then they must be too.

  25. ziggy

    Hey! That chick in the back is hot!

  26. Barack Obama

    Ah’s ain’t no Mawksist, Bitch! Ah’s jus’ a brutha tronna gits mine.

    Y’all gots ta memba dat Mawks sed dat peeps in Soshulism will get out exactly whut dey put into so-sie-tee. An dat is wuz jus’ a stop on da way to tru Com-yu-nism.

    I jus’ wants ta giv stuff away. So see, Ah’s ain’t no Mawksist.

  27. aja

    This ratface is very presumptuous.

    ” I am eating everything to look like I had two kids”

    Talk about a sweeping assumption. Not all mothers are fat.
    Have you seen brooke Burke, Ms Longoria? She looks alot better than you and has four kids.

  28. Ferdinand Narcos

    This is the first time I’ve ever thought she was remotely attractive.

  29. a fan

    She’s gaining weight for next season’s Desperate Housewives.

  30. Christopher

    Not fat, just finally looking good…

  31. Hadley

    People have been speculating that she’s pregnant for months, yet her stomach looks about the same as it DID months ago. Let it go?

  32. mary jane

    if she was preg her boobs would’ve been much bigger. that looks like belly fat. she’s still hot!

  33. Edward

    She thinks she’s FAT?!!?

    If anyone out there really thinks she is fat, seriously, what the heck is wrong with society?!

    She’s still “skinny.”

    She looks great!

  34. Choco

    You ever kiss a girl after she was eating M&M’s? Fantastic…

  35. IWONKY

    That’s a really bad haircut. It put 20 years on her, ewwww. She does look pregnant in this shot even if she says she’s just fat. Celebrities do lie.

  36. Randal

    Eva, I am so jealous of your beautiful body. If you are fat, then I would be a wet, hairy, obese man. Which I really am.
    Your beautiful body is an inspiration for us struggling to keep our weight down. My gay lovers are already telling me to get myself fit so I can perform better in the bedroom. Still, I have second thoughts. I need to keep my man-boobs for the enjoyment of rough daddy. You love to suckle on them, don’t you?

    Randal

  37. Eva's fake eyelash

    She is not fat. I think she has a curveless, wide waisted body. You would think the men on this site who prefer straight, prepubescent bodies would love her physique. It’s the anti Kim.

    That type of dress does not flatter her.

  38. Randal's alter persona

    Randal who is known for writing letters of inspiration and spreading love got unusually dirty at the end of the letter to Eva. Is this the real Randal or a fake?

  39. Rex

    She looks better with a little extra weight. Too bad it didnt make her chicken legs any better

  40. She’s on The Tonight Show right this minute… she does NOT look like that picture. She’s wearing a small, tight top and while she looks thicker than she has in the past, she certainly doesn’t look pregnant.

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