Eva Longoria isn’t pregnant – just fat (Her words, not mine.)

September 10th, 2008 // 41 Comments

Eva Longoria wants to set the record straight: she’s not pregnant – maybe. I mean, who really knows these days? Us Magazine reports:

“I’m just fat,” she said Tuesday during an interview with Le Grand Journal with husband Tony Parker. She then burst out laughing while Parker chuckled nervously.
To make Gabrielle look like she has two kids, Longoria has said she ate “everything in sight! Pasta … pizza.”
Her other secret for looking heavier? “I have butt pads, I have thigh pads, I have stomach pads!”

Let’s get to the bottom of this chicanery: First, Eva Longoria is holding M&M’s. Everyone knows fat chicks love chocolate. Then again, so do pregnant ones. Damn. Okay, moving on; there’s the saying one thing but secretly meaning the opposite – which applies to women the world over. Sonofa- Alright, I got it. The true litmus test of whether Eva Longoria is pregnant or “just fat”: If she tricks me into having sex with her while I’m drunk – you know what? I give up. I hope it’s quadruplets.

Eva Longoria 47 wallpaper
Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria involved in car crash
The 'Desperate Housewives' actress was leaving the hairsalon of celebrity stylist Ken Paves when she pulled into traffic and hit the back of another vehicle with her BMW, although there was no serious damage, according to TMZ.com. The other ...
Eva Longoria Involved in Minor Fender Bender
A guy in West Hollywood hit the jackpot this afternoon when he scored Eva Longoria's phone number ... but that's because she had just rear-ended him with her BMW ... TMZ has learned. According to our sources, Eva was leaving her BFF Ken Paves ...

Comments (41)

  1. MT | September 11, 2008 at 9:02 am

    SETH IS A GIANT D!

    Reply
  2. English Bob | September 11, 2008 at 9:02 am

    She’s still one of the most beautiful women in the world, fat, pregnant or not….!

    Reply
  3. JJ | September 11, 2008 at 9:03 am

    first

    Reply
  4. eldo | September 11, 2008 at 9:07 am

    most overrated chick ever.

    Reply
  5. Rob | September 11, 2008 at 9:12 am

    Without her make up she is one of the ugliest women on earth.

    I’d still drop it in her ass though, ugly or not !!

    Reply
  6. Lima | September 11, 2008 at 9:15 am

    She short, annoying, and a horror with out the face paint.

    Reply
  7. eldo | September 11, 2008 at 9:24 am

    No ass, no tits, pretty face assisted by a pound of make up, bad legs. I mean she’s not hideous by any means, just very average. I don’t get what the obsession with her is. Maybe she should gain a little weight.
    And whats up with everybody thinking when a thin girl like Longoria puts on a few pounds she’s automatically fat? so what? she’s not a whale. Not everybody needs to be anorexic. Tits and ass are a GOOD thing.

    Reply
  8. justtheobvious | September 11, 2008 at 9:26 am

    I’ll massage that fat right off her, then knock her up… just to get her money.. oh, and to make her a Milf

    Reply
  9. country singer | September 11, 2008 at 9:30 am

    Where were you, on 9/11? Did you weep for the children? Did you burst out in pride for the red, white, and blue? 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 911 vote republican 9/11 9/11 9/11.

    Thank you very much, you’ve been a great audience. Make sure you pick up your pin from Rudy Giuliani on the way out. Good night, and 9/11 y’all!

    Reply
  10. veggi | September 11, 2008 at 9:31 am

    If nothing else, 9/11 showed that New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch.

    Reply
  11. rough daddy | September 11, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Good! she thinks thats cute, parker’s cheating as we speak….”chuckle nervoursly” should tell you something!

    Reply
  12. Josie | September 11, 2008 at 9:32 am

    What’s Al-Qaeda’s favorite football team?

    The New York Jets.

    Reply
  13. Andy | September 11, 2008 at 9:36 am

    I wish they’d stop replaying all that 9/11 footage. It was traumatic enough the first time. The worst part is when all those people start jumping off the upper floors of the towers. I wonder what went through their minds? Their ankles, I suppose.

    Reply
  14. Barack Obama | September 11, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Vote for me. I’m a radical Marxist.

    Reply
  15. havoc | September 11, 2008 at 9:38 am

    I’d still nail this chick in the ass….but that’s about it.

    .

    Reply
  16. Dr. Otto Van DerWahl | September 11, 2008 at 9:43 am

    You know oral injection of man-protein shouldn’t add that much weight to the thighs, or so I’m told

    Reply
  17. Sportsdvl | September 11, 2008 at 10:05 am

    Can garden gnomes actually get pregnant?

    Reply
  18. LoLa | September 11, 2008 at 10:10 am

    I can’t stand this generic looking bitch. There’s nothing special about her. She’s a mediocre TV actress who peddles chocolate in her spare time who practically forced that ugly French-head young buck Tony Parker to marry her. If she’s preggers, fuck her. If she’s not pregnany and just another fat bitch, fuck her.

    Reply
  19. Huh? | September 11, 2008 at 10:22 am

    no wonder she’s fat, she’s drinking m&m’s

    Reply
  20. Facial | September 11, 2008 at 10:28 am

    she is anything but fat. If you think she’s fat thes you are a product of Hollywood brain-wash.

    That said, she is an ugly bitch when the makeup is off. I do want to shove by stiff pecker in that poop shoot though.

    check her out here:
    http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y78/ChadFinn/more%20pics%201/eva-longoria-no-makeup-03.jpg

    Reply
  21. No one | September 11, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Definitely pregnant. She just happen to put on weight from M&Ms only in her gut? I don’t think so.

    (PS: Terrible dress to wear if indeed she was just “fat”).

    Reply
  22. Eva Longoria's padded belly | September 11, 2008 at 11:19 am

    I guess Kim K. has brought a new pad trend to Hollyweird.

    Again, what is fat about this person? I think she is being sassy with her retort. She was emaciated before and the five pounds places her in the realm of thin. Woooooo….

    Over rated/over airbrushed- yes
    Attractive in a “I have a great stylist and make-up artist way”- check
    Fat-No

    I am sure she is still thinner and more put together than half the sloths that peruse this site.

    Reply
  23. Juicy | September 11, 2008 at 11:24 am

    If she’s going to be wearing padding to make her look fat, why actually put on the weight? I image this extra weight would effect all of her modeling and product endorsements as well, and that she wouldn’t do it only for the TV show.

    I say she’s pregnant, and just being obnoxious by joking she’s fat when she really isn’t.

    And I’ve seen pics of her without makeup… very average looking!

    Reply
  24. stizzef | September 11, 2008 at 11:34 am

    Ew i hate her hair like that, it looks like shit. And by the way Eva, thanks for making women all over the world feel enormous by saying that your scrawny ass is fat.

    Reply
  25. Lee | September 11, 2008 at 11:50 am

    What an irresponsible thing for her to say. Looking at the pictures of her in an earlier post (http://thesuperficial.com/2008/07/eva_longoria_explains_why_she.php), she is nowhere near fat. Imagine all the girls that look up to her or want to be like her thinking that if Eva Longoria is fat then they must be too.

    Reply
  26. ziggy | September 11, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Hey! That chick in the back is hot!

    Reply
  27. Barack Obama | September 11, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Ah’s ain’t no Mawksist, Bitch! Ah’s jus’ a brutha tronna gits mine.

    Y’all gots ta memba dat Mawks sed dat peeps in Soshulism will get out exactly whut dey put into so-sie-tee. An dat is wuz jus’ a stop on da way to tru Com-yu-nism.

    I jus’ wants ta giv stuff away. So see, Ah’s ain’t no Mawksist.

    Reply
  28. aja | September 11, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    This ratface is very presumptuous.

    ” I am eating everything to look like I had two kids”

    Talk about a sweeping assumption. Not all mothers are fat.
    Have you seen brooke Burke, Ms Longoria? She looks alot better than you and has four kids.

    Reply
  29. Ferdinand Narcos | September 11, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    This is the first time I’ve ever thought she was remotely attractive.

    Reply
  30. a fan | September 11, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    She’s gaining weight for next season’s Desperate Housewives.

    Reply
  31. Christopher | September 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    Not fat, just finally looking good…

    Reply
  32. Hadley | September 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    People have been speculating that she’s pregnant for months, yet her stomach looks about the same as it DID months ago. Let it go?

    Reply
  33. mary jane | September 11, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    if she was preg her boobs would’ve been much bigger. that looks like belly fat. she’s still hot!

    Reply
  34. Edward | September 11, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    She thinks she’s FAT?!!?

    If anyone out there really thinks she is fat, seriously, what the heck is wrong with society?!

    She’s still “skinny.”

    She looks great!

    Reply
  35. Choco | September 11, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    You ever kiss a girl after she was eating M&M’s? Fantastic…

    Reply
  36. IWONKY | September 11, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    That’s a really bad haircut. It put 20 years on her, ewwww. She does look pregnant in this shot even if she says she’s just fat. Celebrities do lie.

    Reply
  37. Randal | September 12, 2008 at 5:27 am

    Eva, I am so jealous of your beautiful body. If you are fat, then I would be a wet, hairy, obese man. Which I really am.
    Your beautiful body is an inspiration for us struggling to keep our weight down. My gay lovers are already telling me to get myself fit so I can perform better in the bedroom. Still, I have second thoughts. I need to keep my man-boobs for the enjoyment of rough daddy. You love to suckle on them, don’t you?

    Randal

    Reply
  38. Eva's fake eyelash | September 12, 2008 at 10:29 am

    She is not fat. I think she has a curveless, wide waisted body. You would think the men on this site who prefer straight, prepubescent bodies would love her physique. It’s the anti Kim.

    That type of dress does not flatter her.

    Reply
  39. Randal's alter persona | September 12, 2008 at 10:31 am

    Randal who is known for writing letters of inspiration and spreading love got unusually dirty at the end of the letter to Eva. Is this the real Randal or a fake?

    Reply
  40. Rex | December 26, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    She looks better with a little extra weight. Too bad it didnt make her chicken legs any better

    Reply
  41. Weißer Tee | January 5, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    She’s on The Tonight Show right this minute… she does NOT look like that picture. She’s wearing a small, tight top and while she looks thicker than she has in the past, she certainly doesn’t look pregnant.

    Reply

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