Eva Longoria is a spinner

January 19th, 2006 // 28 Comments

eva_longoria-thumb.jpgWhat is she? Four foot nothing? Hooray to all the girls out there that are spinners. Oh, yeah. She also seems to be dating Jamie Foxx. Lucky!

Desperate Housewives beauty Eva Longoria has sparked speculation she has split from her basketball star lover Tony Parker, after cuddling up to Jamie Foxx at a Golden Globes after-party. The actress, 30, struck up a friendship with Oscar-winner Foxx when he invited her to star in his latest music video. Longoria and Foxx attended Mary J. Blige’s surprise birthday party in Los Angeles last Wednesday, before speeding off together in the Ray star’s silver two-seat Lamborghini.

Now, I’ve seen pictures of Jamie Foxx as a kid, and this guy had the wettest jheri curl I’ve ever seen. I’m talking “Soul Glow from Coming to America” greasy. And somehow he gets to throw Eva Longoria around a Motel 6. It’s enough to make you poke your eyes out and learn how to play piano.

Source

superficial

  1. SuperSpence

    First of all, Jamie Foxx has chlamydia. That’s a proven fact. Second of all, however tiny Eva Longoria’s body is, her IQ is even smaller. Thirdly, Longoria probably hasn’t broken up with Tony Parker, she’s just decided to have sexual intercourse with Jamie Foxx, as well as Tony Parker and anywhere from 40-65 other males of various species. Fourthly, I think there’s at least a 25% chance that Jamie Foxx isn’t just banging this chick, he’s also forcing her to listen to his crappy new album. Which, I’m pretty sure, qualifies as rape in at least 26 states and municipalities.

    Finally — and most importantly — if Eva Longoria isn’t going to have sex with me, or at least allow me to take nude photographs of her for my collection, then she might as well be crushed by a falling building.

  2. Jayne

    I now know what a spinner is..

    thanks UrbanDictionary once again.

  3. Queen LaQueefah

    Damn, this bitch is embarrassing. She thinks she is Miss Thing when she’s just really a freakin flea with a decent, at best, face. Eva, you’re the token hot Mexican chick. I can say this cause I’m hispanic. She’s nothing special. She is pretty, but not gorgeous, yo. She’ll only be “hot” for a couple of years, give or take, then everyone will forget about her just like they forgot about Salma Hayek or Eva Mendes, who are BOTH waaaaaaay better looking than her, and who also don’t make men feel like they are having sex with a CHILD when they sleep with her!!! Ew.

  4. “Jaime Fox has clhamydia…that’s proven fact?” How do you know that?

    Whether he does or doesn’t, he’s no good. And Tony Parker is hot. It doesn’t matter anyway. She has about ten minutes of fame left in her.

  5. tess

    This rat-faced midget is out of control. Eva Gonnorhia is so horny that she can’t even stick to one man. She has to bang every male celebrity she crosses path with. What a shame. I pity the hispanic community for having to deal with such a whorish and slutish ambassador.

  6. Mary45

    Maybe she is tired of Mr. Parker’s uncircumcised peeny. Oui? OR Maybe he is tired of her; she is a salope.

  7. Sheva

    Eva’s people are now confirming she is still dating Tony Parker. She is only banging Jamie Foxx and other assorted people at various parties surrounding the Globe(s).

  8. Tony Parker has the hugest head ever. That frenchman must have the “greatest personality” or something. Eva Longoria = body of a 12 year old. A really good looking 12 year old, but still.

    As a side note. Jamie Foxx sucks. He thinks he has a license to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. I once dreamt he felt up my gf so i broke the windshield of his altima. Why he had an altima, i will never know. I haven’t been able to watch him anything ever since. =<

  9. kylieer

    I personally don’t see what the appeal of this chick is?! Seriously….her look does nothing for me…I don’t find her that attractive – just toooo ‘made up’. She always looks like she just put a clinque counter out of business….

    (and no I am not just being catty… haha)

  10. kylieer

    and Jamie Foxx is as ugly as a bag of hammers….ewwwwwwww!!

  11. ESQ

    Hmmmmm…did anyone see the pictures of Jamie Foxx with his paws around her like he just grabbed a piece of raw meat from the zookeepers to hoard all to himself? Isn’t he the same guy that left some waitstaff person a $1,000 in ones? Survey says…..

  12. HughJorganthethird

    hey kylieer the expression is “Stupid as a bag of Hammers” but thats cool, he is an ugly motherfucker either way.

    Perhaps “face like a can of smashed assholes” is more appropriate.

  13. HughJorganthethird

    Maybe one of his brothers, in the role of Obi Wan, said:

    “seek out the one known as Longoria, the scent of tuna is strong in this one”

  14. MortyFishbein

    Okay, Eva is what we in the industry like to call an OTS (Opportunistic TV Slut). No doubt her publicist and agent are doing some behind-the-scenes shit here.

    She starts with either a hot club owner (by hot I mean the club NOT the owner) or basketball star; Mischa Barton chose Cisco Adler against her agent’s better judgment. Longoria, however, isn’t quite ready to pull an Aniston. She has to work her way up because her show isn’t anywhere near a “Friends.”

    She starts with Tony Parker. Moves cautiously to Jamie Foxx, a recent Oscar winner. Her next stop, if I am not mistaken, will either be that guy from A Time To Kill, Matthew McConasomething or Colin Farrell. Best believe it’ll be somebody you wouldn’t suspect. Hollywood is a more ridiculous place than you can imagine . . .

  15. Eva Longoria is a very nice looking woman. She’d get a better rating if she dropped the mound of cake she calls make up on her face. Her website is ok but it loads slow. You’d think she would have an OC-12 and BGP-4 routing protocol for the amount of cash she makes. Hell, it would be a write off.

    I always frown on celebs that let what appeared, to be a preschooler do their makeup.

  16. CASHIN

    THIS OVERRATED WHORE IS LIKE 4’11 , TITLESS, USELESS & TALENTLESS! HER FACE IS A CROSS BETWEEN A RAT & A MONKEY. AS UNATTRACTIVE AS SHE IS, SHE BELIEVES SHE IS GOD’S GIFT AND HAS THE IQ OF A POTATO. GO AWAY YOU WHORE AND TAKE ANOTHER UGLY, FLAT CHESTED SLUT NAMED PARIS WITH YOU!

  17. 2cute4ya

    She is NOT cute and neither is he for that matter. Both are Publicity WHORES! It has looong been rumored that J Foxx is gay so he tries to be as public as possible with as many women as possible–PATHETIC!

  18. velvet_morning

    She would look a great deal better if she applied her make up sparingly.
    Whoever does her make up is doing the worst job ever

  19. CASHIN

    NO-SHE IS NOT PRETTY WITH OR WITHOUT MAKEUP. THERE ARE PLENTY OF PICS THAT PROVE THAT FACT.

  20. hermanita

    oh lala CASHIN calm your jealousy down please. Saying she’s ugly is like saying chocolate is sour. She’s not. (altough she is sort of boobless -_-)Don’t be mad the girl’s prettier then you. But I do agree she’s gotten pretty stupid now that she’s a celebrity. She thinks she owns everything and everyone. She needs an attitude adjustment real bad.

  21. tess

    Eva Gonnorhia loooks like a mouse. She should go back 2 Disneyland!!

  22. CASHIN

    I’M A DUDE #20 AND MY GIRLFRIEND IS WAY HOTTER THAN THIS MEXICAN SLUT.

  23. CASHIN

    I’M A DUDE #20 AND MY GIRLFRIEND IS WAY HOTTER THAN THIS MEXICAN SLUT.

  24. mags

    I’ve seen her in real life;

    a) she is very short (and this is a short person saying this), but not as tiny/skinny as you’d expect

    b) didn’t notice a lot of makeup, but she was wearing an ugly shirt

    Damn them Mexican sluts.

  25. LaydeeBug

    Mary #6, “salope” now THAT’s a good one. This cooze has no hips, no nothing. She is a scrawny, shapeless dingleberry. I’ve seen prettier faces on watches. SHE IS NOT HOT! Salma is hot and that’s because she’s half Lebanese. Eva Longoria, is the a-typical, Mexican puta who happened to be born in Texas. That’s the only reason why she hasn’t had four babies and turned into a barrel. I swear to god this whole “hire-her-because-she-is-a-Latina” crap has got to stop. You know what pisses me off even more….she probably doesn’t even speak spanish! Co

  26. I can’t believe how racist you guys are (‘Mexican sluts’?). That is crossing the line. Eva is talented, and gorgeous and she seems very happy, and she deserves to because she has worked hard to get where she is. It’s ridiculous that just because Eva is pretty and successful and happy, you guys find consolation in finding faults with her. But, your nasty and immature comments probably just make Eva a stronger person.

  27. A Nobody

    Hey, so-jealous-that-I’m-insane-and-ignorant girls, she was an ugly girl when she was a little girl. Happy now? I guess other people’s suffering is just so joyful to watch, isn’t it?

  28. go damn, I can’t believe that jamie foxx was hitting that! http://hollywoodsnark.com

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