Eva Longoria in a bikini

June 5th, 2009 // 101 Comments

You know what I love about these Eva Longoria pics from St. Tropez? They take me on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. From weeping like I just saw the Virgin Mary appear in my cereal to laughing with glee as Tony Parker pats Eva on the head like a lawn gnome. Which reminds me, if you’re my neighbor and reading this, I promise to return yours. Eventually.

superficial

  1. -=-=-=-=-

    - incredible ass
    -too short
    -average face
    -awful front view on the body
    -small tits
    -tummy bulge
    -no shape
    -nice hair

    she should just always stand backwards.

  2. Scott AKA Bitch

    Scott Bitch said “You’re a fucking idiot. a)because you insinuate she has no ass, when, quite clearly she does, b)if there’s ever a famous couple that’s going to make it, this be it….its obvious, to anyone whose not a fucking tool, and c)Beyonce and Rihanna are f’ing stunners, and Paris, for all her bullshit, 99% of the popuation would still fuck(happily)…funny how you trash everyone, when in reality, you’ve probably got the looks and charisma of a fucking warthog.”

    @#50 Ok imbecile bi#tch, you wanted my attention, you got it! Idiot…I didn’t insinuate! NO ass,…I can see your definitely in the lower 2% in your class, that’s being generous. Eva doesn’t, that’s why she is poking it out, use your inference Richard head! Stunners, to each his own, are they beautiful women, depends on who you ask, but it is obvious they have self-esteem issue, by Beyonce own account “I have complex in EVERYWAY.” Not if you want to play semantics, providing you even know what that means, then fine, she all but admitted to a self-esteem issue. You really should feel stupid, if you don’t, I’ll feel stupid for you. Rhianna, well, going dubious over a text, hardly classifies as “confident.” Cheated or not, if one is secure, walk away, because at the end of the day, they (the significant other), always comes back, that when one’s “esteem” kicks in, and turns the other way. Paris Hilton, bone if you want, but be prepared to get treated for the rest of your life, or be denial and infect other’s while proclaiming, “it’s just bump.” Very typical, if you bone Paris, you’re a desperate piece of shit, so bone on, hope you can afford your prescription. So sorry blockhead, I ooze charisma, warthog, I’m pretty cute if I do say so myself, and trust me, you would to if you think Beyonce, Rhianna etc. are “stunners.” I touched a nerve, you must be a little bitchboy, but hey, you’ve got a future on the corner, man whore! I’m positive I’m not the only intelligent person who feels this way, but you be a lamb if you want, live vicariously through the celebs, knowing that you’re failed attempt to finish high school goes unappreciated by your probation office, lo-life, you will never amount to anything. Me, well, I just graduated with a Masters, 3.9 GPA, and heading to the top, don’t worry bitch, you’ll be asking me for a job one day…that’s how much self esteem I have!

  3. ScottDumbass

    “You’re a fucking idiot. a)because you insinuate she has no ass, when, quite clearly she does, b)if there’s ever a famous couple that’s going to make it, this be it….its obvious, to anyone whose not a fucking tool, and c)Beyonce and Rihanna are f’ing stunners, and Paris, for all her bullshit, 99% of the popuation would still fuck(happily)…funny how you trash everyone, when in reality, you’ve probably got the looks and charisma of a fucking warthog.”

    @#50 Ok imbecile bi#tch, you wanted my attention, you got it! Idiot…I didn’t insinuate! NO ass,…I can see your definitely in the lower 2% in your class, that’s being generous. Eva doesn’t, that’s why she is poking it out, use your inference Richard head! Stunners, to each his own, are they beautiful women, depends on who you ask, but it is obvious they have self-esteem issue, by Beyonce own account “I have complex in EVERYWAY.” Not if you want to play semantics, providing you even know what that means, then fine, she all but admitted to a self-esteem issue. You really should feel stupid, if you don’t, I’ll feel stupid for you. Rhianna, well, going dubious over a text, hardly classifies as “confident.” Cheated or not, if one is secure, walk away, because at the end of the day, they (the significant other), always comes back, that when one’s “esteem” kicks in, and turns the other way. Paris Hilton, bone if you want, but be prepared to get treated for the rest of your life, or be denial and infect other’s while proclaiming, “it’s just bump.” Very typical, if you bone Paris, you’re a desperate piece of shit, so bone on, hope you can afford your prescription. So sorry blockhead, I ooze charisma, warthog, I’m pretty cute if I do say so myself, and trust me, you would to if you think Beyonce, Rhianna etc. are “stunners.” I touched a nerve, you must be a little bitchboy, but hey, you’ve got a future on the corner, man whore! I’m positive I’m not the only intelligent person who feels this way, but you be a lamb if you want, live vicariously through the celebs, knowing that you’re failed attempt to finish high school goes unappreciated by your probation office, lo-life, you will never amount to anything. Me, well, I just graduated with a Masters, 3.9 GPA, and heading to the top, don’t worry bitch, you’ll be asking me for a job one day…that’s how much self esteem I have!

  4. Tofu

    #51

    No plastic surgery and all real! This is hard to find in Hollywood.

  5. AJ

    She has an ass; it’s just not a fat one like the typical fat ass American.

  6. I have on issues with Eva. Other than when she said she needed to teach Tony how to become a decent lover, then retracted it by saying something like “In bed he’s the mentor and I’m the student.” or something along those lines. That is plain stooopid. She’s rackless but still hammerable though.
    The Rake
    http://thefilmnest.com

  7. gigi

    are you guys kidding?? is she pregnant? she has like almost no hip/waist ratio! very masculine… I dunno… maybe she had a huge lunch or something, but the ‘nice ass’ shots are lucky ones

  8. gigi

    are you guys kidding?? is she pregnant? she has like almost no hip/waist ratio! very masculine… I dunno… maybe she had a huge lunch or something, but the ‘nice ass’ shots are lucky ones

  9. What ever! bad face, bad teeth, belly bulge, unfounded. I would be looking for the common denominator, while i split that shitter in half…

  10. kati

    not. hot. at. all.

  11. kati

    not. hot. at. all.

  12. Jamie's Uterus

    She’s the J-Lo of television. Zero talent and diva attitude. After that awful show is over, we will never hear from her midget ass again.

  13. Darth

    Didn’t she had time to find a toilet? Or does she really think we believe she just took a shower?

  14. Dixie

    I know I stick my ass out like that when I tease my boyfriend because he loves to spank me.

  15. Eva Longoria

    Can someone please help me find my waist? I can only find them after airbrushing.

  16. growler

    so many mud sharks

  17. Haha, wow that’s nice =)

  18. Aloe & Lanolin

    Now THAT is what a woman should look like. Now off to use my hand to simulate buttfucking her…

  19. Sardonic

    Pic 5 – When he pushes down on her head that budding beer gunt protrudes an additional 2 inches. How fun is that?

  20. Trent Cornwall

    A great ass, AND can play baseball pretty good. What more could you want?

  21. lala

    she looks amazing…and she doesn’t suck it in! go eva! a lot of guys dig a pot belly!

  22. lala

    she looks amazing…and she doesn’t suck it in! go eva! a lot of guys dig a pot belly!

  23. Eva looks good for her age.

  24. eurotrash

    these are from like………2 years ago

    cmon, teh sooperfishhcisl……….check ur sources

    decent ass but no boobs and annoying as shit

    i dont think so

  25. Aunt Jemima

    Niggr Fukker

  26. Aunt Jemima

    Niggr Fukker

  27. David55

    OH, WONDERFUL!
    There are many beautiful mature women and men chatting on that community****Cougar Circle***** which designed to help ethnically diverse singles meet new friends and make dates. u will have a more lovely baby not long after……

  28. She is looking good for her age

  29. Mmmmm

    I would fucking fuck that pussy until either it bled, or my massive bulging cock does! Then I would finger jam that ass until she pooped out a turd.

  30. She’s poking her butt out. She aint got too much. Just a lil bit of something.

  31. Nice package that packs a nice punch. Go Tony!

  32. she does have ass

  33. jzz

    short duck-like legs.

  34. Marina

    Hmm…she’s definitely not fat…she looks more pregnant than fat. Her arms, legs, and face are super skinny. Maybe her belly is a tiny bit bloated, but she’s definitely NOT fat. Preggers is my best guess…

  35. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Where’s my babe?

  36. Lawn gnome council

    She needs to take a leaf out of Kim K’s book and never stand next to her gigantic boyfriend in public without wearing equally gigantic platform wedges.

  37. Dread not

    Why does everyone declare, FIRST! Are all of these people circle jerk veterans who have some sort of Pavlovian response to seeing a clear comment board? Damn! Hey, women don’t like it when you’re “first”, so ease back off the throttle a bit. Am I wrong, ladies?

    By the looks of these pics, Tony Parker has his name carved in that pussy!.

  38. Slapp

    Ohhh, that ass is phyne! I wish I could fuck her in it. Tony P – enjoy that sweet ass.

  39. Dantheman

    Pic#5

    Why is he holding her head like a basketball?

  40. Kim K

    The critics here kill me. Eva Longoria is a hot chica – the hypercritics are either gay men, guys who are bald, fat and weigh 300 pounds and have to pay for sex or women who are mega insecure and need to insult others. So sad. Post your pictures if you are hotter than Ms. Longoria.

  41. Errica

    i think its a cute picture D:

  42. that is so awesome, your cameraman must have been snorkeling nearby

  43. melissa kostusiak

    I think so many of you are insecure and insane. She has an ass she may be small but she has one. She is very pretty and talented or she wouldnt be so succesful. You people are lame.

  44. melissa kostusiak

    I think so many of you are insecure and insane. She has an ass she may be small but she has one. She is very pretty and talented or she wouldnt be so succesful. You people are lame.

  45. Niki

    She’s built like any other Latina. No waist, butt, or boobs. I’ve never thought she was pretty and Kim K has a curvy figure which is much better. Eva is built like a man. Fugly!

  46. she looks amazing in this bikini. i just love her. come on eva. give us some more

  47. Could I please dry her ass with my face!

  48. I would love for her to sit on my face.

  49. ron

    Man Eva is one hot chick. Smokin hot!

  50. Hm, well, unless shes been neglecting gym-time, I’d say that looks like a baby bump… Does anyone else think so? (I can’t tell these things very well, mind…)

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