Eva Longoria in a bikini

July 10th, 2008 // 222 Comments

Eva Longoria in a bikini – showering. Those are probably the most beautiful words I’ve ever typed in my life. Not counting: “Dude, it was just an ingrown hair!” Good times.


  1. bigred

    hoochie mamma

  2. Dominick

    She looks like a troll.

  3. Capers

    I never thought I would see this day…Eva Longoria has gotten fat…….!

  4. Spanky

    My screen is all white now.

  5. Quinn

    Did you already post she’s preggers? Cause I missed it.

  6. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    Wow without clothes & makeup…..GROSS.
    I hope she sees these pictures & makes sure we never have to see this shit ever again.
    You should be ashamed of yourself Eva. You have an imiage to uphold. Now got to the gym, then salon and get that mustache bleached.

  7. von

    I’m not sure that’s the best bikini for her…i like the color, but it doesn’t jack shit for her shape


  8. simplicity

    she loves herself wayyyyy too much.

    and she looks eww!

  9. tulgeyhat13

    I see cellulite… guess she let herself go after she got married.

  10. umm..

    is she pregnant?

  11. Greg the Bunny

    Seeing her without makeup, I believe I had a one night stand with her.

  12. PLAYBOY will be honoured to take it of, I’M SURE!!

  13. cherry

    10th!!!!!! she cant be happy with these pictures, i think shes ready for a one piece, with one of those things chicks tie around their waists to cover up cottage cheese

  14. cherry

    10th!!!!!! she cant be happy with these pictures, i think shes ready for a one piece, with one of those things chicks tie around their waists to cover up cottage cheese

  15. metalman

    i think her and britney have been eating at the same restaurants

  16. Randal

    You’re looking as beautiful as ever Eva but is that any surprise when you’ve taken such good care of yourself over the years?

    Love your work on Desperate Housewives, you’re a top notch act! Hope you’re part of the entertainment industry for a long time.



  17. Jerod Cykoski


  18. beefytee

    I’f I’m nailing Eva Longoria in the ass the last think I want to be looking at is the cross our lord and savior died on

  19. She’s an average looking yard gnome. Without the makeup and photoshopping she is just an avg looking chick. Now, most of us would still hit it but then again – that doesn’t mean she’s anything special. Even if you find her “hot” the fact that by all accounts she’s a raving bitch should be enough to turn off most of us.

  20. phy

    Boy, she looks awful.

  21. gw

    Why is she so hyped? I mean she’s not bad on the eyes but she’s not knockout gorgeous or anything.

  22. Bony Mudsharker

    Who gives a shit about this washed up MUDSHARK anynhow. Fuck “Bony- Tony Mudsharker” the Scram and Blow-me-o Spur and this chocolate chasing biaaaaaaatch!

  23. Deacon Jones

    Yikes, where’s the asphalt driveway she was sitting on?

    This girl is nothing more than a hot MILF neighbor that you would joke about fucking at the 4th of July barbecue over some brews. A sex superstar?
    N1gga Pah-lease!

  24. Doomhammer

    In that last pic I think she still has some splooge on her chest. What a woman. Eat yourselves up with envy bitches. Thats a boat full of hot ass pussy and the closest you will come to that life is watching others live it on the net !!

  25. DrDanny

    Dude….I’m just not that into her.
    I wouldn’t mind being on that cruise ship, tho.

  26. veggi

    Fish is right on the mark with this one. For some reason, this summer the oranges have been smaller than usual and kind of old-looking. Very disappointing when you’re expecting firm ripe fruit.

  27. veggi

    What the fuck are you talking about #27- please fuck off. Thank you..

    However, i do like oranges..

    And I want to be on that cruise ship too!!

  28. Tyrone


    She is not fat enough for me. I love females that are fat like Kim Kardashian. I love females with pear shaped bodies like Kim. I don’t care about the breast size; just big fat hips, thighs, and butt does me good.

  29. Tom

    She is definitely overrated. I would fuck almost any famous chick, but I’m just not attracted to her for some reason. Give me Jessica Alba over her any day of the week.

  30. Em

    Hmmm…. Far cry from her Bebe photoshoot, eh?

    The Paparazzi: Proving once again that (virtually) no woman is as perfect as their airbrushed photos would have us believe.

  31. excuse me while I barf

    eww how can Tony screw that? Her buttock and leg skin elasticity is that of a 70-year-old lady.

  32. Cindy

    #27 – that’s exactly what I thought! Her ass looks like one of those out-of-season, wrinkly, misshapen oranges.

  33. Short

    That’s actually a foot shower….she’s just small enough to fit under it.

  34. Those Mexican rats can get really fat.

  35. cavy

    You people are sick – look at pic #9…..how the Hell can anyone call that fat?! And to the poster that said they like a girl “fat like Kim Kardashian”…you sir are an idiot (kudos to you for liking NORMAL , FIT women, but they are hardly “FAT”)! This is what is wrong with America. People either bitch that a woman is too skinny…then too fat…WTF is wrong with you people?!!! And for the record I am into health and fitness and am in the middle of those 2 extremes (I’m sure half of you would say I was too skinny and the other half would say I was fat…ala Eva Longoria).

  36. Where's Darkwing Duck?

    I love it when chicks bitch about people making comments about how they think “this bitch is too fat, That bitch is too skinny & I’d love to stick it up those bitches ass” No one can agree, everyone has their own opinions.
    But my favorite is when you stupid cunts get on here and say shit like

    ” I am into health and fitness and am in the middle of those 2 extremes (I’m sure half of you would say I was too skinny and the other half would say I was fat…ala Eva Longoria).”

    Or, “I am 5’2″ blonde/blue and weigh 120 carrying most of it in my chest and butt”

    Hey you guys can’t see me but if I throw some hypothetical situations out there will someone please validate my existence?
    Call your mom. If she can’t say something nice to you……….Well Sorry. Then no one gives a shit about you CUNTS!
    BTW I am 4’8″ 285lbs with one brown eye. Will someone tell me they want to stick their dick in it?

  37. Where's Darkwing Duck

    Whew! I feel much better now.
    Thanks PMS!

  38. havoc

    Not bad.

    Minus the white trash tattoos.

    White trash in a Mexican way……


  39. AndrewMacCloud

    Eeewww…get away Fatty!
    For God Sake… As long as a girl isn’t disgustingly fat, I could fuck a fat girl all day and all night long , but this disgustingly fat piece of meat ,it just plain creeps me out.
    Damn, So disgustingly fat and horrible..This isn’t funny anymore, , this individual loves food and constantly eats to increase her fat mass, like she’s training for Sumo School….
    Someone, please please help her…
    How many chins is enough,?

  40. Judge

    …the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of attention whoring…
    …using a false identity (“actress”)…
    …kidnapping an NBA player who should be nailing tons of hot chicks…
    …and contrary to the laws of this state…
    …becoming FAT…
    Therefore, according to the powers vested in us…
    …we sentence the accused here before us…
    …Eva Benedicta Pacifica Junita Maria Ramirez Longoria…
    …known as the “Rat”…
    …and any other aliases she might have…
    …to hang by the neck until dead.
    May God have mercy on her soul. Proceed!

  41. Doc


    You are calling fat pear shaped Kim fit he! he! he! Her size 40 plus hips are bigger than the rest of her body which technically make her fat. Kim admits to eating a lot of junk food like fried Oreos and her fat body proves it. Sure there are men out there like #9 that have a fat fetish and find fat females like Kim attractive. One of the problems with fat Americans is we have too many of them and now fat Americans are trying to change the scientific rules of what is fat. Or some guys with a fat fetish also try to redefine fat. Kim is fat because her fat body ratio proves it. Eva is not skinny or fat; she is fit for her body type. Sure Eva can spot train on her troubled spots like her stomach, hips, thighs, and butt to firm up more. Eva is 5’2″ and looks like she weighs 110 pounds and Kim is 5’3″ and weighs around 160. Notice the enormous weight difference between them and they are both almost the same height. If Eva gained 55 pounds and got implants; she would have a figure like Kim.

  42. you pizza-faced losers

    Suck it up you pizza-faced losers. The closest you’ll ever get to ass like that is by posting on blogs and websites.

  43. frito

    She’s still hot and you’re still a fat loser

  44. Kimberly Clark


    I’m 5’2 and weigh 120 pounds. I have big boobs and a big ass for my body type. Sure people tell me I’m curvy but I just have fat in the right places. I want to get down to 110 pounds because I don’t have as much energy as I use to. I think Eva looks good and just needs to start exercising regularly again to improve her figure.

  45. hey, i LOVE pizza!

    #43 – good, I sure wouldn’t want to get near that flabby droopy wrinkly thing in real life.

    #44 – you forgot the part about “living in your mom’s basement”.

    #45 – Kimberly, it’s great to read that personal info about you, since I’ve run out of girls to rape and you fit my profile EXACTLY.

  46. rrr

    I’m 5’8″ and 98 lbs. Someone please come to my house and kill me now.

  47. drgnz23

    for a latina her ass is horrible

  48. drgnz23

    for a latina her ass is horrible

  49. Kimberly Clark


    I was almost raped you SOB and I sprayed pepper spray in his face and I successfully escaped. I have no problem gouging a mans eyes out if he attacks me. There is nothing funny about rape you pathetic loser.

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