Eva Longoria has fancy shoes

October 5th, 2006 // 45 Comments

At what point do you become so rich and succesful you just start buying things for the sake of buying things? Because there’s no way Eva Longoria woke up one morning thinking to herself, “I need to buy a pair of slippers with huge flowers on them that make me a look like a ridiculous human being. And not just huge flowers. I mean flowers so big you’ll think my feet are actual giant flowers. Like God said ‘For this one I’ll give her flowers instead of feet.’” At least Leonardo DiCaprio’s slippers make sense. They’re just slippers. These, I don’t even know what they are. Even if I went out tomorrow actively looking for them I don’t think I’d be able to find them. And if I had them specially ordered the slipper maker would just hang up on me because he thought it was a prank call.

More of Eva Longoria’s amazing slippers after the jump.


  1. ApacheRose

    Wow. It must be a really sloooow news day.

  2. I’m gonna get my Grandma to make me the knitted version of those.

    Let’s hope some more interesting shit happens soon. Slippers? Gah.

  3. I hate to break it to you guy’s, but she’s not wearing shoes, that shits foot fungus of the flower kind……………..

  4. Terry

    Karen, check out http://fadedyouth.blogspot.com/

    There is a new Vogue layout with Nicole Richie. You are going to die! Skinny but fab.

  5. Madrid Marriott

    Fourth pic dialogue:

    Skinhead: “Your ass, my weiner. Whaddya say?”
    Eva: “Heehee. Again?”

  6. S.P.F.R.S.

    The guy in the pic is stepping on the flower hoping to kill the ugly thang (while at the same time, copping a butt squeeze).

  7. radically4peace

    Are they also leopard print?

    They are so horribly non-matching.

  8. aliomali

    The flowered shoes are a distriction and take your mind of her facial hair and mustache…The guy in the pic is Joey Lawrence and is mad at Eva for wearing the “Vote for Mario” tshirt on Dancing With the Stars.

  9. As comfortable as they may be, it’s for attention. I notice they have the gawdly tasting coffee store Starbuck’s in the back ground.

    I smell conspiracy. :-)

  10. Proof that a nice sized paycheck doesn’t guarantee good taste.

  11. shell

    She can’t think those shoes look good with that outfit

  12. bigponie

    without the paint on she looks like sandy cheeks from spongebob.

  13. Amy3000

    I cant even begin to fathom why this douche is even famous. She lacks looks, talent and apparently fashion sense…Im going to go back to poking my voodoo doll now….

  14. Tracie

    Reminds me of what happened to a friend of mine with slippers like these. She was running down the stairs and got totally distracted by the big flowers on her feet. She thought, “Oh, these are so cute”, and got so distracted, she missed a step and went careening down the rest of the staircase. I had heard that these slippers were a “gift” from Felicity Huffman…makes sense…

  15. Wampoon.com

    Wonder how it’ll feel if she kicked me in the groin with those shoes.


  16. It looks like something K-Fed would wear


  17. RichPort

    Wow, the gag gifts for the housekeeping crew at the Marriott sure get cheaper and cheaper. What’s that? Oooohhhh… Eva Langwhoria… that was her Tony Parker parting gift, cheap French fuck.

    Oh yea, that dude in the last picture trying to look all hardcore with the Chinese character for “love” on his shirt is a verifiable pussy.

  18. commissioner

    She looks like a sloppier version of one of those annoying soccer moms. But even most of them have the good sense to put on real shoes before trotting out of the house.

  19. commissioner

    BTW, Rich-

    I’ve used “blonkey” twice today. I feel very clever, thanks to you.

  20. BigJim

    Was the term “honkey” invented because it’s the last sound black people hear when whitey is running them down in an SUV?

  21. BigJim

    Those slippers would look nice on the floor next to my bed.

  22. PapaHotNuts

    She wore those shoes to remind herself that she should be landscaping my yard, because, you know, she’s Mexican.

  23. All she needs now are some leg warmers. Yeah, baby!


  24. frenchtoaststix

    From the Ringling Brothers line. To show what an ass-clown she is.

  25. @21.. Oh BigJim, a man after my own heart.
    I would soooo love a pair of those delicious slippers!

  26. Binky

    Now that she’s through with Tony – I guess she’ll want another dribbler.
    Hey I’m a dribbler Eva ! (but only during meals)

  27. RichPort

    #19 – Excellent, grasshopper. The Fish legacy grows. I’m just waiting for the TCLTC T shirts…

  28. Whatever happened to the days when humans looked where they were walking while walking. It seems that everyone has their attention on their PDA-cellphone-hypnotist-advisor-god gadget rather than the 4-ton truck racing their…oops. Hope that Blackberry was insured.

  29. What paparazzi pointed his camera down to her cheap shoes and said “wow, I should get a couple a thousand bucks for this!”?

    Come on, you couldn’t get shots of her feeding pidgeons or brushing her teeth??


  30. Ruby

    Rich – what does TCLTC mean?

    It looks like the guy in the last picture is stepping on her chrysanthemum. Hrumph!
    and btw, I miss jrzmommy.

  31. Chicagoboy

    #30 Tom Cruise Loves The Cock!

  32. Italian Stallion

    @22 Oh shit, Papa’s back motherfuckers, get ready to laugh your ass off!!!!!!

  33. Chicagoboy

    Sorry Rich, didn’t mean to answer for you.

  34. Jillia

    #17 – The funny thing is, that poserific playboy probably has no fucking clue what it means. “The guy at the Gap told me it means ‘strength’”. I wonder if there’s more Chinese symbols in there with the tats that probably actually say devil-worshipper or I love cock.

  35. Tracie

    Yep, just as I suspected. It’s the same fate that befell my friend:

    “Eva Longoria injuring herself on the set of Desperate Housewives Wednesday, slipping on some stairs while coming out of her trailer. Her rep said the actress will return to work as scheduled, though no word on whether this sudden affliction will prohibit the pint-size thesp from visiting beau Tony Parker, with whom everything is apparently peachy keen, in France this week.”

    Felicity Huffman is off somewhere, clapping with glee.

  36. notmeganharris

    Hello? She’s wearing those to distract from the fact she only bleaches her FOUR FRONT TEETH. See picture three.

  37. c

    I think Eva stole that tracksuit from the Housewives set, and the shoes from a mentally handicapped, dumpster-diving homeless crossdresser.


  38. LoneWolf

    Fuh King Christ.

    I’d give my left nut to slap her across the face.

    Just once.

  39. cayana

    She clearly has fugly toe syndrome and is trying to hide it.

  40. jrzmommy

    Very impractical footwear to be sporting when La Migra comes-a-knockin’. Duh, Eva.

  41. Troller

    She better be careful or she’ll slip coming out of her trailer and have to go to the hospital for bruised ribs…. I must be pyschic

  42. I don’t think her shoes are that bad, but she looks beastly without her make-up on.

  43. yardgraffiti

    Maybe those shoes would look great with the dresses I recently saw on http://www.styleblvd.com/blog.dhtm?id=107

    Double funny if you put them together.

  44. yeah, she’s just trying to get attention in stupid ways

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