Eva Longoria has a sex tape


Eva Longoria is the star of a new sex tape that’s hit the web. Apparently it’s only on pay sites, but thanks to the beauty of the internet, it should be free and in my computer by the end of the day. The Sun reports:

Rumours have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby TONY PARKER.

If this video is real and contains Eva actually looking hot, then Christmas cometh early, my friends. However, if this video has Eva looking like a lawn gnome, which has been known to happen, then this won’t be anything new for me. I don’t want to get into it, but my grandparents asked me to mow their yard one time when I was really drunk. All I’m saying is that that lawn gnome was asking for it. The way he was dressed and looking at me. I’m only human, dammit!