Eva Longoria has a sex tape

October 1st, 2007 // 73 Comments
emmy_awards_eva_longoria_00.jpg

Eva Longoria is the star of a new sex tape that’s hit the web. Apparently it’s only on pay sites, but thanks to the beauty of the internet, it should be free and in my computer by the end of the day. The Sun reports:

Rumours have been rife on the web that the saucy video exists and contains intimate scenes featuring the Desperate Housewives beauty and her NBA star hubby TONY PARKER.

If this video is real and contains Eva actually looking hot, then Christmas cometh early, my friends. However, if this video has Eva looking like a lawn gnome, which has been known to happen, then this won’t be anything new for me. I don’t want to get into it, but my grandparents asked me to mow their yard one time when I was really drunk. All I’m saying is that that lawn gnome was asking for it. The way he was dressed and looking at me. I’m only human, dammit!

superficial

  1. ph7

    FRIST, maybe!

  2. BIGsteamyONE

    too skinny and skanky

  3. steve

    i hope it’s true. She’s the hottest midget ever.

  4. rac

    link plz?

  5. my comment

    who cares.

  6. S

    GET A LIFE!!!

  7. BAM

    this bitch is so pathetic she probably released it herself. next we’ll hear how their house got robbed….

    desperate is right.

  8. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    Is it called “The buck toothed vixen, and the stinky Frenchman?”

  9. Miss

    She is a cutie pie, love her face and awesome dress.

  10. Hemlock Queen

    When the fuck will celebutards will learn to stop putting humiliating shit of themselves on tape, pics etc… Don’t they know it ALWAYS gets out to the public. Dumbfucks.

    And your right #2. She is too skinny. She seemed to think she had to “trim” down for her wedding. Now she just looks like a starvation camp survivor. Or every other idiot in Hollywood.

  11. chalupa

    She’s not wearing makeup and she hadn’t done any shaving in a week, so it’s difficult to tell which is Eva and which is Tony.

  12. veggi

    love yer hair! hope ya win!

    I don’t know…………. I don’t feel good today, OK!!!!

  13. havoc

    Pic#9…..her head looks kinda photoshopped on her body….

    If not, that is SCARY.

    .

  14. OMG!

    DID YOU REALLY HAVE SEX WITH A LAWN GNOME?????????????/

  15. whichsiteisthisagain

    First, poor Paris gets treated so badly by that old man, and now poor Eva gets her personal romantic life stolen and put out all over the internet. I feel so bad for them! Be brave, Paris and Eva! Remember your talents! You will prevail, I know you will!

  16. robin

    Wow, we really are fast becoming a nation of tarts. These celebrities have everything in terms of the American dream and yet, they are so starved for more and more attention. Sex tape? Once upon a time, we may have bought that it was an accident and got leaked. Now, it was probably the mindchild of her publicist–paid for and all. This is SO PATHETIC!

    Grow up Hollywood. No one cares anymore.

  17. This is gonna be entertaining, she’s so small and skinny he probably lifts her up with his dick!

  18. jrzmommy

    Oh…..its that what it was? I thought it was Tony Parker doing “it” with a dude from Menudo when I saw it. Okay….this makes sense.

  19. Hill

    interesting… just when the wedding is over and nobody is paying attention to Eva and Tony anymore, whaddya know, a sex tape “leaks” out! LOL Pathetic attempt at more tabloids if you ask me.

  20. leatherdaddy

    i just lost a bet on how long this tape would take to hit the internet. ive always wonder how she took all of parker. cant wait to see, even though im not looking forward to seeing her without makeup.

  21. Fag

    I can’t wait to see his big black cock. I hope Eva sucks his cock to completion and we get to see him cum all over her face.
    Do you loser girls here on the Fish like it when a man cums on your face? I don’t like to waste it, so I swallow every last drop.

  22. Fag

    I can’t wait to see his big black cock. I hope Eva sucks his cock to completion and we get to see him cum all over her face.
    Do you loser girls here on the Fish like it when a man cums on your face? I don’t like to waste it, so I swallow every last drop.

  23. double stuffed

    i’m sure this is a pre-wedding tape. no chick fucks longer or stronger than a chick trying to get a wedding ring. i hope he pees in her mouth and gives her a dirty sanchez.

    better circulate it now before she has kids and turns into a fat burrito like every mexican chick does after having a litter.

  24. classic

    21 and 22. It was an inane comment the first time. We didn’t need to have it posted twice…………oh, and you’re a fucking loser.

    That’s all for now.

  25. adeliza

    Does anyone else remember when she came out and said that Tony was bad in bed? I swear I remember reading that.

  26. chitty chitty

    #21

    actually, i think you meant to say “i can’t wait to see his big tan cock”. he’s the same complexion as eva. she said her family use to call her the “dark one” cause her sisters were lighter than her. yeah, they don’t like black people and if he had been a shade darker, they probably would have disowned her.

  27. LL

    When did homemade porn go from “skanky” to “saucy”? Saucy is when you flirt with the pizza delivery guy as you hand him your money, not when you invite him in for a blow job and then put the video of it up on your blog.

    I have no interest in seeing Eva screw anyone, but that dress is freaking gorgeous. Wish it was mine. I’d wear it everywhere, including work. I could get a raise (or several, wink, wink, nudge, nudge). See, THAT was “saucy.”

  28. mexican beaner

    @23,
    Why is it that Mexcian women get all fat after having kids?
    They’re all hot with a smoking body and then after a kid….BOOM. Are they just fucking lazy. Oh, yes they’re Mexican, so yes yes they are fucking lazy.

  29. Cashitin

    Where are her breastesess? Who’s the homo in the last two pics?

  30. I bet it’s not true. I heard that Tony Parker is just into taping midgets while doin it. So it’s probably one of them who is mistaken for Eva.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Where hip-hop and Hollywood collide.

  31. LL
    I like the way you think. (wink,wink)

  32. 1MILF Hunter

    This will give the Spurs something to watch on a team flight.

  33. bearandbu

    Once you go anorexic Italian-American skank you never go back.

  34. Rusty

    She’s … what? … 4’10″ and he’s 6’8″ or something like that. If for no other reason I’m curious to see how that works. Purely for science, you understand.

  35. @34, me too. It’s gonna be like circus freak porn.

  36. Snarky McComments

    Smurf sex. All right!!!!!

  37. Rusty

    She’ll be tonguing his belly-button while he’s french-kissing the bedpost.

  38. Rick

    http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com has “clips” of the video. She actually looks good in it.

  39. lambman

    well she looks good in those pics!

    But seriously how are these people so stupid that after like a million sex tapes online that people who are famous still think its a good idea?

  40. lambman

    it should be really amusing though, because isn’t he like more than a foot taller than her? The physics should be interesting

  41. ph7

    Too tiny to be sexy. Tiny women look good in pictures, and silly in person. Short legs are not sexy, and what appear to be proportionate boobs in pictures just appear very tiny and school girlish in person.

  42. gimbolin

    Yeah, he’s tall. With a small penis. It happens.

    It’s amazing what you learn when you actually venture out into the world…

  43. Jason

    Piss on you and your stupid site http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com

    Dont go to that address

  44. Rick Astley

    http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com really does have clips, they are hidden in the lower right.

  45. I’m desperate for this house wife to get naked… A GA GA GA!

  46. blpressure

    What 43 said. btw the IP of that stupid Rick Astley shit is 64.202.163.192 if anyone wants to ping it til it dies or send some nasty shit

  47. PunkA

    Desperate for a career bump after her stupid show bombs this year? Way to go slumming with Paris.

  48. Shallow Val

    Oh my GOSH, say in ain’t so??? A puta asquerosa is always a puta asquerosa, no matter where they were brought up. Fucking bony-assed, big-crotch-having, tramp-stamp wearing wannabe actress who’s good for nothing but a tit shot.

    Surprise me, FISH, why dontcha???

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  50. BAM

    yeah you all keep saying how you don’t want to see her without make up on. I doubt that she takes it off. I mean, Tony does need to get it up, so it’s in her best interest to keep that painted face on.

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