Eva Longoria cures cancer

May 21st, 2007 // 49 Comments

Eva Longoria was one of many celebrities at the “Spike for Hope” celebrity charity volleyball tournament over the weekend to help kids with cancer. Because for some reason, celebrities doing this is helpful. I mean, duh, look at them. Sure, I’ve devoted my life to researching and battling cancer and spend all my free time at the children’s oncology ward interacting with patients, but these are the real heroes here. They played volleyball.

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  1. elle

    jesus i thought that said she HAD cancer

  2. wedge1

    Poor thing forgot to wipe..and, I’m not enlarging pictures anymore.

  3. What great shape she is in. Not an ounce of extra fat or celluloid. Hope she is able to stay that way as she ages

  4. veggi

    Jimbo’s feverishly trying to get Pam’s boobs and Eva’s butt on the same page.

  5. bungoone

    let’s be real. if she actually HIT the ball, her arms would snap clear through.

  6. At least she’s doing more than Shitney, HoHan or Parasyphillis.

  7. llllllllll

    I wish I wouldn’t have seen this. It’s like watching a pony tailed half naked little boy. I’m sure Michael Jackson and R. Kelly would enjoy these pics.

  8. p0nk's dad

    I’m glad I saw this. It’s like watching a pony tailed half naked little boy. Time to break out the home movies…

  9. is she wearing black shorts or white??


    Vote YODA!!


  10. I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping.

  11. Lou Dobbs

    The only problem was that Eva kept trying to sneak over to the other side of the fence.

  12. Jimbo ?

    The day just keeps getting better.

  13. Jimbo ?

    Veggi – Pam’s are way to big for Eva. Some nice B’s would look great on her. I had dinner with her last night and she was looking HOT, even with the little boobs.

  14. Because everyone wants the 4’11″ chick on their volleyball team… nice little behind though.. I’d snap that in half…

  15. John Mark Karr

    She’s a dream come true. She looks exactly like a 10-year-old boy, and yet if you fuck her, you don’t go to prison. Every guy should have a turn with her, just to let those urges out.

  16. yolatengo

    damn i think i just saw her spleen in those pics…she has a nice one

  17. djthecat

    I think she needs to have that butt mole checked out. MOLE!

  18. Missmara19

    Looks like shes good at signing balls. I guess theres life after desperate housewives.

  19. gooniesneversaydie

    NO MORE enlarging photos, please!

    Enlarging breasts or penises is one thing, but these pics show some gory detail that is better left unshared; namely, vericose veins with those jean shorts. Also, butt moles are better in the morning, not right after lunch.

    Finally, typekey blows. what is the point if you can now post without logging in?

    I am tired and grumpy.

  20. Gen. Colon Bowel

    That’s not a mole. Before the event she had mexican, and, you know…

  21. biatcho

    She’s awesome! A neurotic high strung girl who sounds like a yapping chihuahua and looks like a boy!

  22. lambman

    She looked hot on Desperate Housewives last night.

  23. the best part

    and she wouldn’t fuck a single one of you. :(

  24. Alayney

    Ok, tell me that white thing is a bathing suit, cause girls know better than to play sports in short skirts, er … a … long shirts …

  25. even better

    #23 – so what? we live in a country full of illegals who are hotter than she is. i could get a blumpkin AND a bathroom scrubbing from a better looking wetback for about a dollar.

  26. Lowlands

    How can you help kids with a volleyballgame?Do these kids get cured with a appearance of Eva Longeria?I don’t think so.If she really wants to help out a 16/17 year old boy with cancer then i’m sure it would be something else she can make him happy with.If she refuses to do that then she doesn’t really care about kids with cancer.

  27. noodles

    What’s up with her being on all fours with one leg up to the side?…
    Is she a dog?

  28. Chauncey Gardner

    This cunt is not that big a deal. Maybe she’d be hot if she was a bank teller, or a high school teacher, or your friend’s mom who dishes out blowjobs. But, she’s nowhere near as hot as your average, run-of-the-mill Telemundo broad, and I cannot figure out why all these douchebags in the media have elevated her to Latin Goddess status. I mean, Roselyn Sanchez – THAT’S a hot latina chick. Not this fucking Taco Bell-grade soccer mom horseshit.

  29. Chauncey Gardner

    And to the people still convinced she’s hot – you all saw what was behind the green curtain with that photo of Eva without her make-up. If her face looked that bad, think what her snatch must look like without the proper care.

  30. Lowlands

    Haven’t you fixed the connection with Typekey yet?Looks like Typekey banned you out or something.

  31. This is just not true…everyone knows only Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, it’s just too bad he’s never cried.

  32. Lala

    When I worked at Fred Hutchison Cancer Research Center in Seattle, we had occasional famous visitors. Most were touched, and some were actually kind of overwhelmed once they actually saw 3-year-olds with no hair and tubes in and out of their bodies. Most celebs were very gracious and kind, especially to the kids.

  33. Youre pathetice

    I think some of you losers should go into the Ronald NcDonald House and see 6 year old kids dying of cancer! Bashing a woman trying to make their short painful lifes a little better. I wish I could snap my fingers and have you trade places with those poor unfortunate kids!!

  34. Jessica

    Who the hell plays volleyball in their 5854354854 carat engagement ring?
    With a spike or the force of the ball against your hand, you can easily scratch or damage the ring.

  35. Alayney

    Actually, I was wondering the same thing about the 5854354854 ring! Thought it might pop the ball.

  36. Cognoscienti

    Ironic…b/c Tony’s ex Fiancée was actually a pro Vollyball player…..maybe she’s trying to fulfill some weird fetish of Parker’s. :-D

  37. fi

    I just wanted to say to whoever you are that writes for this site.. you are sooooooooo much funnier than perez… hmm now i think about it aint really funny at all, but you, brazen, bold and fabulous, oh and really good looking.. always make me giggle

  38. jus'stupid

    She’s lending her name so more people come out and laugh at her.

    The pix show that she put on her denims to keep some of the sand out of that sweet Snat^%$

  39. p911gt10c

    Pic5. I’d toss her salad anyday.

  40. Mr. Tactful

    Eva went to a cancer treatment center, saw kids in late-stage cancer receiving chemo, and said “hey, they’re brownish just like me!”. Celeb are so narcissistic.

  41. k

    this bitch lookz like
    a dyke that likez to
    show her puzzy……

    shez not famous, how
    can she make money for

  42. Stoned & Bored

    Pic #5, I’d put it right in there.

  43. polypam


    That’s because Perez is nothing more than a catty bitch and let’s face it, most catty bitches aren’t particularly witty or intelligent. Paris Hilton could probably write that blog just as well as he does.

  44. theyareallidiots

    #23. She’d BEG to fk me. Not all so-called “beautiful” people are super-rich and quasi-famous. It’s a choice some of us choose not to travel. It mostly only leads to narcissism and destruction.

  45. velveethra

    I like the sixth pic. She looks like she’s flying! wheee

  46. muthafuckabling

    Her ass cures my flaccid penis.

  47. Big Daddy

    To bad she put the shorts on.I wanted to see more of that fine ass.

  48. Wow, I wish she could have worn less, like in these pictures.


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