Eva Longoria and Tony Parker split up

October 2nd, 2006 // 47 Comments

A rep for Eva Longoria and Tony Parker issued a statement last Friday saying the couple were “going through a very difficult time,” but now the relationship problems have been upgraded to a full on split. A source close to the couple says: “It’s distance and demanding careers and not living in same city. It didn’t happen yesterday. It’s been going on for a while.” Additionally, Page Six reports Tony Parker was spotted at Marquee last week dancing with a blonde ex-girlfriend and swapping numbers with her. Which makes sense, because if you woke up next to this every morning you’d probably want out too. You’d probably also want to reexamine your sexuality, because sleeping with men is the first sign that you might be gay.


  1. griffmills

    Who cares?

  2. happy_bunny

    Dude. She’s really not that bad looking without makeup. You need to get over that. I’ve seen much worse. As I’m sure we all have.

  3. jrzmommy

    guess he doesn’t like spanish boys afterall.

  4. forget everything you read about why these two broke up.. it was a financial matter.. they ran out of money for longwhoria’s stepladders..

  5. commissioner

    SHE has a demanding career? Since when?

  6. Two fake people split up, what a tragedy!


  7. Eva Who? I think I saw her and that dude working at the AMC theater by my house.


  8. RichPort

    You know the old addage “For every spicy skank who can swallow a 14″ cock, there’s an NBA player tired of fucking her”… I think it goes something like that.

    Now that she has some free time, she can mow my fucking lawn.

  9. suzy

    um.. Tony Park is FRENCH… not spanish…. just in case none of you knew

    and i feel bad, she seemed really happy with him

    and sorry if seeing someone happy and content is a bad thing to like

  10. ChicagoEric

    Tony Parker, and word that Lance Armstrong is hitting up Ivanka Trump…Boy do athletes have a way with the women… Wonder if being a casual bowler qualifies as an athlete. I’d like to hit on these hotties too

  11. Fugurself

    This is not relevant. A relevant has big ears and a trunk.

  12. Not surprising. Tony plays in the NBA. He gets more ass than a toilet seat.


  13. jrzmommy

    9–Have I ever mentioned to you that I hate the French? just wonderin’.

  14. RichPort

    #9 – INCOMING!!! INCOMING!!! Suzy, you want to duck…

    Tony Park is a French fuck? I hate the French almost as much as I hate cutting myself when shaving nuts, then forgetting and dousing them in rubbing alcohol. Not fun. I thought he was raising his arms above his head to stretch out before games, turns out the French bastard was surrendering.

  15. #9 suzyQ – read #3 jrzmommys post again, I believe you’ll find she was refering to Eva as the “spanish boy”

    Get with the fucking program. DAMN !!!

  16. Italian Stallion

    @9 Suzy:

    You really know how to say something that nobody gives a fuck about as usual. Keep up the good work douchebag……

    I’m glad she got rid of that French dickhead! I bet he smells like toilet water……

  17. The Juice

    Hey here’s more fodder for you Yankee Doodles.
    Not only is Tony Parker French… He’s also Canadian (from Montreal).

  18. combustion8

    Didnt these two just finish their “Dream House”… someones gonna make a nice dollar off that.

    I’d still fuck her but only if she were gagged first.

  19. Equalparts

    “going through a very difficult time.” Hack cough gag.

    Must be real hard being superyoung and super fucking rich and super beautiful and booo fucking hoooo trying to be in love. Awwwww, life’s so fucking hard for you boring ass people.

    Try maintaining a loving and healthy relationship while trying to make ends meet making $10.00 an hour like normal people and then tell me about what a “very difficult time is.”

    Simply breaking up because having million dollar careers that mean you must live apart is not so “very difficult” if you get some decent perspective on shit.

  20. Eva orchestrated this for press coverage. She’s such a media whore!


  21. jrzmommy

    Unrelated–some fuck just went into an Amish schoolhouse and blew away six kids and critically injured others before doing himself.

  22. pinky_nip

    How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.

  23. Hm…wonder who she’s going to date to make him jealous.


  24. jrzmommy

    The way Suzy says UM TONY PARKER IS FRENCH!! reminds me of those For Eyes (is it For Eyes?) commercials with the persnickety fag salesman that says, “UM THESE GLASSES ARE DIFFERENT! THEY SPEAK…….FRENCH!” hee hee hee

    Not only is he FRENCH (God I wish I could type that so it appears really really BIG) he’s FRENCH CANADIAN! Have I mentioned my intense dislike of Canadians to anyone?

  25. RichPort

    #24 – Whoa! Go easy on Canada… they’ve proven to be an invaluable American colony.

  26. jrzmommy

    25–okay…..they’ve got good coffee at Tim Horton’s….but that’s all I’m gonna say.

  27. #22 pinky- Another piece of hilarity right to the funny-bone.

  28. PaisleyMoon

    LMAO #8….that was good.

  29. YoMamma

    good. Im glad. She sucks overated ass.

  30. BarbadoSlim

    Eva needs to finish her 15 minutes and shut her stinkin’ piehole already.

    that goes for you too #9.


  32. BarbadoSlim

    Hahahahahahahahahaha seriously …

    #32 you need to take it easy bubba.

  33. RichPort

    #32 – Would you and Suzy Underpants (#9) care to play everyone’s favorite game “Let’s Take a Stab”? I have two extremely sharp, rusty knifes. Each of you gets a turn sticking the other until one falls in a pathetic, bloody pool. The first one to die wins. My money’s on you, like OMFG!!!

  34. Jeremy1Esq

    In the NBA universe of hot women who will fuck you, Eva is just like the planet Pluto.

  35. I’m guessing #32 hasn’t heard of Sarah-Jean?

  36. Gee, the Spurs are projected to be slipping as championship contender’s and they break up. I totally didn’t see this coming! Learn from this Tony, they all after the ice homie. Take it from me, a white guy who doesn’t even know what “ice” or “homie” mean.

  37. Dirt McGirt

    These two are the perfect couple to symbolizes everything I hate: Tony Parker is a black French-Canadian, and Eva Longoria is a dirty Mexican slutbag.

  38. jrzmommy

    32–unless you’re Prince……don’t EVER fucking post shit like that again. I have a goddammed migraine now from reading your comments and for that I hope your date pukes on your dress at Homecoming.

  39. Tony Parker is not French-Canadian !!
    He was born in Belgium and raised in France.
    And by the way, his dad, also named Tony Parker, was from Chicago !!


    Target spotted, she is mine!!!

    Now can someone lend me a couple Mil?

  41. xannalvzhallax

    #39 Im so glad i gave u a migrain :D Loserr

  42. It was her Brazilian wax that did it, he was tired of slipping around.


  43. Chattel

    #32: There’s no excuse for a 16 year old to be such a shitty speller. Oh, wait, yes there is. You’re from England. Where the schools are as good as the dentists…

  44. xannalvzhallax

    OMG U FREEEEEK! u seriously fink i dnt kno how 2 spell them words…. its called abbreviation nob jockey. O wait u hav no life.. so u type evrythin owt word perfect *clap clap* a bet u get straight A’s

  45. about time she dropped that lanky goof ball

  46. doug

    wow, he is really ugly.

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