Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are married

July 6th, 2007 // 103 Comments

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker got married in a civil ceremony in Paris today. The two will have a second ceremony tomorrow at Paris’s Eglise Saint-Germain l’Auxerrois, followed by a lavish celebration at Vaux-le-Vicomte. Which is just a whole lot of words I have no idea how to say. I tried to learn some French from a Parisian woman once, but whenever she was around me all she could say were pleasurable moans.

Photos: Splash

  1. Kamihi

    Why do these Americans always come and get married in Europe? Christ the US is a big feckin country – stay there and get married there for Chrissakes leave Europe out of it why doesn’t she get married in Mexico or wherever not Paris.

  2. We-Le-Surrender....

    48… small enough to fit in the trophy case in his home though….

  3. bib1608

    At 47: That is BRILLIANT!

  4. Quinn

    They look genuinly happy.
    Their marriage looks real enough to last at least 6 months. good for them

  5. miss oblivious

    52…lol,good one

  6. woodhorse

    #43 Elizabeth Hurley really started a trend with the boy-in-girl’s-clothing idea. Oh Wait! – that was TexasTranny. Does anyone know who started the trend for midgets to look even shorter by wearing elevator shoes? Was it Tom Cruise?


  7. Madonna

    Congratulations Tony, you have many years of shopping and misery ahead of you.

  8. Bored Again

    I have no idea who these people are.

  9. woodhorse

    How come ye to be so wise, oh Tim?

  10. 1MILFhunter

    So when do they consumate the marriage? Tonight or wait until tomorrow? It’s not as if they didn’t try it before they buy it. She just got 2 mosquito bites on her chest. She calls them tits. Tony will never experienced a Hawaiian Muscle F*ck off Eva.

  11. frenchie

    She looks great…like a doll.

  12. Jen

    Thank god, can we stop hearing about these assholes now?

  13. Jen

    Thank god, can we stop hearing about these assholes now?

  14. cosmetologist

    FYI – Kids Party Tip

    If they send an invitation to the White House addressed to the President and/or Laura, they will get a very nice letter back from them saying they will not be able to make it. Anyone can get this, and it’s free, and the letter is suitable for framing. This is great for kid graduations and birthdays. Just send them an invitation and you’ll see…

  15. weirdo

    Ever Longwhoreia has never met a camera that she would’nt stop to pose for or jam up her oozing twat. Tony Parkherhere wishes he could do just that but he never will. A match made in Hollywood heaven. It should last less than a year! See you both on the meat market soon beeyaachs!

  16. yowaitup

    Damn her fashion sense is for shit. Nothing she put on goes together. Including that necklace, that is some hideous shit.

    She often has this problem…she just hasn’t a clue about what goes.

  17. crazy otto

    do you think they invited Paris?

  18. i’m supposed to care about this? people get married every day..

  19. The Most Ugly Couple
    award goez to theze
    2 ugly, nobodyz.
    and no one carez
    what they do?

  20. hairy armpits

    even her armpits are perfect

  21. hollow

    I don’t think she’s hot…
    Her skin looks wrinkly and old.

  22. Josh Simpson

    She’s cute, but not hot, and she’s insane. I would get pretty sick of her after about a day.

  23. I dont see them staying together forever, just my views.

  24. lastangelman

    i don’t believe in marriage .. too expensive … and lawyers afterward .. ugh … might as well just sign a couple of documents, leave your sperm in a cup outside her door a couple burlap sacks full of money and your self esteem burning in a brown paper bag next to the money

  25. nagger please

    Celebrities are so full of themselves. Who the eff really cares what she does?

  26. Opium

    *snorts* I can imagine her being blown away by someone coughing.
    “Oh look, there goes Eva.” wheeeeee…

  27. Pammy

    Who cares? She’s ugly and boring.

  28. Lexoka

    Kamihi => In this case, probably because Tony Parker is French, and Vaux-le-Vicomte is beautiful.

  29. Thank Jesis that she is finally married and no longer spreading her legs for free in premarital sex. It is still sad that she will have to find out the hard way what God does to people who marry lesser races.

    Roberta Shugs

  30. chanel dress, i know, but they make alos NICE dresses and they do no combine them with shoes from the sex-shop.
    but hey, i hope her bridal dress will be better… there is a chance.
    @79: shut the fuck up.

  31. #79=dickface:
    God made all the racez,
    azzhole and lovez them
    all. People like U R the
    only onez who have problemz
    with interracial marriagez,
    fuckface..go back to your 3rd.
    world country where men don’t
    let their women drive, work,
    wear bikiniz, etc. and I hope
    they all cut you and your azzdick
    friendz of yourz, U dezerve it.

    p.s. and yea, there are 3rd. world
    country people that moved here and
    run a gaz ztation, and they have
    adapted well. he’ll they have no
    problem ztaring at me and my friendz
    when we get gaz there, grow up or go
    back to the ztoneage and live, fucker??

  32. BaldAsBritney

    Must be like fucking a sack of hammers.

  33. Emily-3131

    she didn’t get married in that dress.
    she changed before the ceremony.

  34. Poster 84

    You know it’s funny, I never really read the comments on any of the articles aside from Paris/Britney/Lindsay so I always assumed that for the most part you people had some class and were just bashing the 3 of them because they’re well…trashy. But now that I see this, I realize that for the most part the posters on this site are just jealous, vindictive individuals. I mean really? You’re talking shit about Eva Longoria and Tony Parker? Um… why? Look yourselves in the mirror and ask yourself what the fuck is the matter with you?

  35. #84=Get the fuck off
    the zite if U can’t
    fuckin handle it…thiz
    place iz only for ztrong
    people who can handle hate…

  36. Lowlands

    ‘I tried to learn some French from a Parisian woman once, but whenever she was around me all she could say were pleasurable moans’.Genius again and a real classic!

  37. Sauron

    (86)I agree,this is quite amusing.

  38. lastangelman

    Mom … Mmmooooommmm … I lost my bBUzz and now I can’t find my Woody …. MMMoooommm?

  39. HeavenScent

    Cute chanel, but jeez Eva can’t Tony afford a whole dress for you? And nice they are getting married after she totally dissed his “bedroom skills”…if that aint love then I dont know what is

  40. HeavenScent

    p.s. I love the lady in the trench coat’s face…she looks like she’s gonna pop open a bottle of advil at the site of Eva…lol

  41. lyrical kelbo

    damn rat bird ass mexican Pretty lame

  42. LDspotter

    @81 I bet you’re one of God’s “literal” people, aintcha? *rolls eyes*

  43. nagger please

    Her husband will be another OJ. He plays nice guy while dating her but then beats her when they get married.

  44. Lexoka

    79 => You seriously need to go out sometime.

  45. #92=I’ll bet your one
    of Zatanz pretend
    Republicanz, aren’t U?

    Izn’t it funny how MAN
    created CHURCH, all in
    the name of controlling
    politicz on brainwazhed
    people who are zo ztupid,
    that they’ll vote for anyone
    az long az itz Republican..
    what a bunch of azzdickz?

  46. the mother fucker

    she could’ve chosen a better dress. It looks like one I bought at Winners

  47. TheBitch

    whore shoes. bad taste.
    her legs look like two used toothpicks.

  48. Clete

    Hideous…delusional… Eva is about as sexy as an Olsen twin. Cover up that pathetic puny body. She looks like a ferret dressed in a babydoll outfit. Her second husband (there will be more marriages) is a big retard, especially since he would not insist on a pre-nup.

  49. Paris' godly spirit

    I’ve never seen a woman with so much stamina and endurance. She must have held up that arm and her gob open for at least 3 hours while they took photos. Good on her, nothing like press attention at the most important day of your life, i mean its not like you know them right????

  50. casual stalker

    I wonder if we will stop hearing about her now that they are married. Spurs won and no one even cared..lol. Im sorry but I cant help wonder that TP could have had much hotter and younger women than Eva(she is not even a 4 on my list)..and yet he chose her….I dont see this lasting very long..or at the very least when he meets the much prettier and better class girl he should have married he will kick himself.

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