Eva Longoria Doing Beach Volleyball Things and Other News

Also…

Ronnie, one of the guys from Jersey Shore, is still in character despite his show being off air for over a decade. It’s sad, really. [TMZ]

I think Jennifer Lawrence ate dog poop recently, but that’s not stopping me from being stoked on the new Darren Aronofsky flick coming out in September. [LaineyGossip]

A couple of ladies made the best unboxing video of all time for Goop’s vagina-empowering stickers. [OMGblog]

The guy from Korn said something pretty shitty about Chester Bennington’s suicide. He is in Korn, mind you. [Metro]

For once, and this is the only time ever, I kind of feel bad for Khloe Kardashian. [PageSix]

Brooklyn Beckham is dating Madison Beer and they’re avoiding Justin Bieber like the molesty plague that he is. [EvilBeet]

Halle Berry chugged a pint of whiskey and I couldn’t love her more. [DrunkenStepfather]

The Bella Thorne masturbation hoax is F’ing stupid… [TooFab]

If anyone needs me, Frank and I will be in the backyard all weekend with a baby pool full of ice cold Frescas and ‘kugles as we project all five movies in the Tremors: Attack Pack box set. Everyone is invited unless I personally disinvited you to my BBQ at some point…