Eva Longoria is Out For Revenge

November 18th, 2010 // 52 Comments

Because revenge is a dish best served caliente, papi – I’ll go shoot myself in the face now. – Eva Longoria apparently was out for blood after discovering Tony Parker‘s sextual messages with Erin Barry, wife of his former Spurs teammate Brent Barry. This, of course, confirmed everything I already said yesterday because I’m Nostradamus’ brother Boobsanonamus. — And firing that gun again. RadarOnline reports:

“They were working out the details about who was going to file and when. They didn’t want it to become a messy divorce. Then Eva got a little revenge and didn’t tell Tony she was filing and dropped the papers on him, catching him off balance for the media blitz.”
While some reports have said the texts between Tony and Eva were “innocent” that’s absolutely not true, RadarOnline.com learned. The texts were flirtatious and sexual and “crossed the line,” a source close to the situation revealed.
Erin’s marriage to Brent is over, the source says, and while she and Parker traded sexual texts Parker insists their relationship never became physical. “Look, any wife is going to be upset with what Tony did, but he swears the relationship with Erin stopped there and they never had sex,” the source told RadarOnline.com.
“And Parker also says the text messages ended months ago.”
Even so, Eva and Tony agreed many weeks ago to divorce. “They were discussing how to proceed for a while,” the source said. “Suddenly, Eva not only filed the papers but then went public with Tony’s relationship with Erin. He was surprised, to say the least.”

You know what I like most about this whole situation? It confirms the stereotype about spicy Latin women being all loco. Granted, a lot of stereotypes come from places of ignorance, if not pure racism, I’d be remiss not to admit some are handy mental guides to help us react to a situation. For example, every time I meet a redhead with nice jugs, I immediately assume she’s a drug addict and lock her in my closet to prevent a theft. So, you see, stereotypes can be a good thing.

Photos: Flynet

superficial

    • Eva you need to weather this storm. You are a strong woman in an awful situation. Men can be trying at times to say the least however the cream always rises to the top. You are gorgeous and young and have your entire life ahead of you.

      You will never be for a lack of love. The whole world respects you. Stay strong, my shining Latina.

  1. Scott

    Go Get Em Eva!!!

  2. Cock Dr

    Does anyone believe that he didn’t sleep with her?

  3. i’ve got an awesome revenge plan for this whore. jump on my $30,000 a year cock. that outta piss off that dbag…

  4. what?

    “While some reports have said the texts between Tony and Eva were ‘innocent’ that’s absolutely not true”

    can someone explain what that means? i thought they were the ones who were married…

  5. Scott

    Let’s see some pics of Erin Barry please!! What’s up with all these lame pics of Eva and Tony Parker. Show us if it was worth it!

  6. Uncle Jemima

    Deport them both please.

  7. Sen

    Erin is way hotter than Eva

  8. McFeely Smackup

    So these two were talking about divorce and how the papers would be filed, and then BLAMMO! she surprises him by getting the papers filed and dropping them on him.

    Oh you got BURNED buddy, you do not want to cross a Latino chick, her temper will blow up on your face! He’s lucky she didn’t toss out this weeks Val-Pak coupon book before he had a chance to look through it, or put 2% milk in the fridge instead of whole.

    If this is her idea of revenge, then she’s not very imaginative. Or is it just a really slow news day?

  9. JD

    This story still doesn’t have any tits and really needs some.

  10. Rough! The kink of comedy

    I do need a lay out of this Erin, to determine which side ill be leaning toward. Its like picking medical insurance these decisions. Geez!

  11. If the texting ended months ago why were the messages still on his phone? Sloppy motherfucker. And why bring it out now eva? Fodder for ur divorce? Sounds awfully oksana

  12. Alex

    Tony was wrong.

    What I can’t figure out is how “I do” translates into “Now I can be a frigid bitch because he’s trapped”

    Again, these husbands are wrong for their messed up way of dealing with it. Divorce the frigid bitch. Yes, you will get granted a divorce if she’s not having sex with you. I assure you. Even if she pulls the let’s-fix-it card, most judges will allow the divorce on the grounds of she should have figured that shit out long before it came to this. Don’t cheat! You are just giving the frigid bitch everything.

    • Alex, you haven’t ever been married I’m assuming, because most married men and a lot of us single ones understand that a wedding ring, for 80% of women means:

      1. I can gain 30 pounds now that I have you trapped.
      2. That sex you got used to 2 times a day? Well, now expect it twice every 3 months.
      3. Anal sex? Fuck you. No more anal sex.
      4. Blow job? Fuck you further. You MUST still eat my pussy though.
      5. Now that we are married, let me introduce you to my new wardrobe: Track pants, sweats and Crocs.

      I’m not married and I already knows what price a man pays for a wedding ring.

      • Cock Dr

        Ahem.
        Smart women are wise to choose their life partner carefully, because for 80% of men a wedding ring means:
        1. They can gain 30 pounds now that he has you trapped.
        2. That sex you got used to 2 times a day? Well, now he’s on the internet jacking off to Asian beastiality porn or even worse
        3. Infidelity no matter how great you look dressed up in schoolgirl/Nazi outfits for his Friday night pleasure
        3. Cunnilingus? Fuck you. But you MUST still fellate him with enthusiasm even though he hasn’t bothered to shower all weekend.
        4. Now that we are married let me introduce the man’s new wardrobe: BBq stained tee-shirt, tattered bathrobe and stinky socks. And underwear with skidmarks that he’ll leave crumpled in the bathroom for the loving spouse to stain treat & wash.

        See how that works Mr. Squid?

      • Dang!!! Good point Doc. So what do you say we forget marriage, meet, fornicate or fivenicate or sixnicate, live in sin and screw the rules???

        Wait … you are a woman defending womandom right?

      • RPierre

        Ok Dante,

        From a woman twice married, you are 80% correct and funny as hell!!!!!

  13. Tony is french, do you think he cares that she leaked the story that he cheated? It just makes him look more virile and her look like a barren old shrew.

    • French women are lining up at the door for him now… In fact I think a lot of French women, Euro women anyhow, expect their men to have affairs. Yes yes a generalized statement and if you people can’t read the sarcasm in it then you too are douches.

      • nonminti

        excuse me,but European girls do not like cheating men even if they play in NBA or even they are French. And that image of marriage… a little bit scary :)
        But I do imagine sometimes that it could be scary both ways before marriage – i love,after – I just wrote innocent messages to another woman for a year :)

      • Hey non-minti … errrrrrr, read my last sentence please … the whole, if you can’t read the sarcasm in it thingy … I was kidding!!! Pulling legs even.

  14. Once again …ATTENTION ALL SPORTS STAR WIVES ….YOU HUSBAND IS FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT ENTERS HIS HOTEL ROOM !!!!! …There should be an attached waiver at the bottom of every marriage license of these couples that says “I understand my husband will bang every chick on the road. By signing this I will turn the other cheek and collect the paycheck anyway.”

  15. GravyLeg

    Anger the Elfin Vag, Pay the price…

  16. qwertry

    Eva, if you need to cry, i share my shoulders.
    My phone numbers….. ;-)

  17. Turd Ferguson

    Shocker – a celebrity marriage didnt work out?
    That’s going to throw off the bell curve bigtime.

  18. Vivian

    streotypes? I guess spicy larin women give a new meaning to the phrase
    “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”

    And did Fish meanto write the word sextual message? as in textual message or sexual message? is that a word? and if it’s not they SHOULD make it a word, it sounds much cooler than that “repudiate” word Palin used and the oxford dictionary recently made official.

  19. Christ

    He’s a philandering douchebag, and she’s a scheming manipulative bitch. They’re perfect for each other…

  20. Perez Hilton Is An Ass

    He got a look at her without the 400 pounds of makeup she always has on and it went limp. His sexting was therapy.

    If she was stupid enough to think that he’d be faithful, then she deserves what she’s ended up with. He’s an ass and she’s a whorish diva.

  21. layda

    Erin barry is nothin but a hoe cunt

  22. Rick

    I’d like to quote Chris Rock “A man is as faithful as his options”. Someone else said “For every good looking woman there is a man tired of fucking her”. And “Even bad pussy is good pussy”.

    Also for all you thinking of cheating, here are a few rules.

    Always have an excuse, never use a credit card, never use Facebook, ALWAYS DELETE TEST MESSAGES AND PHONE HISTORY, don’t have your phone on a family plan, always date someone who has as much to lose as you. Date at least 50 miles from your locations, separate your dick from your emotions, Irish chicks have an amazing sex drive, never dismiss a woman due to her looks.

  23. GravyLeg

    I cannot look at this fuckers head and not use my Dan Akroid voice to say “We Come From France”…

  24. twitchy nose

    Eva is a Diva and Tony is a Phoney. They are both idiots and nobody cares about their LOVELESS LIFE.

  25. Eva Longoria Tony Parker
    Mark
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, anyone who marries an athlete shouldn’t be too surprised when the athlete cheats. Likewise, marrying an actor isn’t a bright idea. So to team up two narcissists like this was a recipe for disaster.

    Why would Tony Parker need to marry Eva Longoria when he can get all the groupies – or player wives! – he wants? Obviously for him it was a trophy to put on his mantle. “I got one of the hottest actresses on TV!” Good for you, Tony – you could have stayed single, had all the fun you wanted, but you had to screw things up by getting hitched. You dumb, frog!

  26. wim

    you know what? TRY TO HIRE “RAMBO” ……….or hulk hogan.

  27. tally

    i hate when mexicans try to be white. eva longoria should be mowing my lawn.

  28. Jay

    Eva, if you read this, I will be your rebound guy.

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