Enrique Iglesias: ‘I Have The Smallest Penis in The World’

“¿Cómo se dice, ‘Pics or GTFO,’ en Espanól?”

While performing in Sydney on Tuesday, Enrique Iglesias brought a bunch of random dudes onstage and basically decided to let everyone know that Anna Kournikova isn’t with him for the sex. Which is strange because that would mean she’s a Russian woman who enters into a long-term relationship with a man for money. That just seems unprecedented. The Sun reports:

He said: “I grew up with a lot of my friends and all of them lost their virginity with hookers, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
“They had to pay for it. I wanted to wait for the right girl so I waited until I was 25.”
But, within moments he changed his story and claimed he was in fact 17-and-a-half when he slept with his first woman, saying: “I was nervous as s*** the first time.
“Usually the first time is not the best. Let me be honest, I was 17-and-a-half, I was so nervous. It lasted ten seconds.”
One of his companions then claimed he lasted ten minutes the first time. Iglesias replied: “Really? I don’t even last eight minutes now.”
The audience member said the singer’s “good looks” would be great for getting ladies.
Iglesias then asked: “What does Spanish good looks have to do with the size of your penis? Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.
The singer then asked his companions to lift their shirts so they could all compare chests.

Alright, ladies, listen very carefully: Before I press “Order” on this tanning bed, I need to know if a sensually tan body and Latin accent compensate for a small penis. And, please, be honest. Mi familia has a history of the, how you say, melanoma. Mi abuelo called it, “El cáncer de hombre sexy.”

Photo: Splash News