Enrique Iglesias: ‘I Have The Smallest Penis in The World’

July 28th, 2011 // 78 Comments

“¿Cómo se dice, ‘Pics or GTFO,’ en Espanól?”

While performing in Sydney on Tuesday, Enrique Iglesias brought a bunch of random dudes onstage and basically decided to let everyone know that Anna Kournikova isn’t with him for the sex. Which is strange because that would mean she’s a Russian woman who enters into a long-term relationship with a man for money. That just seems unprecedented. The Sun reports:

He said: “I grew up with a lot of my friends and all of them lost their virginity with hookers, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
“They had to pay for it. I wanted to wait for the right girl so I waited until I was 25.”
But, within moments he changed his story and claimed he was in fact 17-and-a-half when he slept with his first woman, saying: “I was nervous as s*** the first time.
“Usually the first time is not the best. Let me be honest, I was 17-and-a-half, I was so nervous. It lasted ten seconds.”
One of his companions then claimed he lasted ten minutes the first time. Iglesias replied: “Really? I don’t even last eight minutes now.”
The audience member said the singer’s “good looks” would be great for getting ladies.
Iglesias then asked: “What does Spanish good looks have to do with the size of your penis? Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.
The singer then asked his companions to lift their shirts so they could all compare chests.

Alright, ladies, listen very carefully: Before I press “Order” on this tanning bed, I need to know if a sensually tan body and Latin accent compensate for a small penis. And, please, be honest. Mi familia has a history of the, how you say, melanoma. Mi abuelo called it, “El cáncer de hombre sexy.”

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. watson

    When then is Anna K still with him after all these years? And is it smaller than Leslie Chow’s?

    • watson

      *Why.
      And I have never been first ever in anything. This is like the best day of my life. *Sniff* Do I get a medal? A magnet at least? A cheap pin? Lol jk. Guess everyone else is working or commuting.

    • It’s unusual for a guy to admit to smallness, but size for the most part is not as important as it’s portrayed. Health jof the package is generally more important; regular use of a first rate penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) helps to address issues like dry/flaky penis skin, odor, redness, etc.

  2. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL @ the thumbnail for this pic.

  3. Mel Gibson

    Poor guy. But why does he want everyone to know?

    • Ed

      I tried to think up an explanation but couldn’t. This man is just too honest.

    • Brooke

      I went on a date with a formal model once, and he was good looking but in the first hour told me his penis was the size of a peanut. I took that as “I don’t want to have sex with you.” Later he told me how he wet the bed as a teenager. At the end of the night, he tried to have sex with me. I think he thought I would be charmed by his self-depricating stories… I am guessing Enrique is one of those guys.

    • Sammy

      Honestly, I think he’s so self conscious about it and that’s why he is CONSTANTLY bringing this up in interviews and during his concerts (I’ve seen him in concert many times and he brings it up EVERY TIME).

  4. Frank Burns

    And let’s make this the last story, ever, about Enrique’s chode problems.

  5. if it’s that small shouldn’t he be using the telephoto lens? mine can fuck my bellybutton lol

    • qwerty

      *Attempts to measure inches between her bellybutton and crotch* I….I……I dont know what to say.

      • Colin

        It’s called bending over. Mine can touch my bellybutton flaccid. And I have a long torso. And am a grower. Point is it’s not hard. YET.

  6. Vivian

    I think a the closest to GTFO in spanish could be something like

    “¡¡¡No me chingues!!”

    • RAA

      GTFO is more like “Vete a la chingada”, but then again with this terrorific news, “no me chingues” is far more adequate.

      • Christina

        I think the more adequate would be: Fotos o lárgate a la chingada.
        Vete a la chingada is more like: fuck you.
        No me chingues is more commonly used as: I can´t believe this shit.
        Of course, it all depends on the context.

  7. your mom

    Baby, the ONLY thing that can make up for a small penis, is skill, with a huge dose of passion.

  8. Sara

    This sounds like the most awkward “concert” to have been present at.

  9. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir blogger – this is America.
    If you want to use products with a proven cancer causing track record you go right ahead. There will be companies lining up for your credit card digits ready to enable your dermal self destruction.

  10. Colin

    Penis size only matters if you’re looking to have sex with the same person more than once. Folly, I say.

  11. PoorMaryKelly

    Any man that would get up and publicly announce that his junk’s tiny has a lot more problems than just a small penis. Also, you can have all the skill in the world and that would certainly help. However, at the end of the day, if you’ve got nothing to work with, that’s not gonna cut it. ” It’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean” is half true. Who cares about the ocean’s motion if you don’t have a boat? True or not, I wouldn’t have told that.

  12. MelonJelly

    Any man who would openly and comfortably joke about having a small penis is obviously hung.

  13. Coyote

    When he was on “How I meet Your Mother” it was said that he was small.

  14. Kelce

    Fish, save your money. No really. More money will always make up for a small penis.

  15. sobrietyisacrutch

    Why in the hell did he bring a bunch of DUDES onstage? And have them take their shirts off? Sounds more like a gay cabaret.
    And Fish? Go ahead and press the “Cancel” button, if you get my drift….

  16. Eddie

    Wow! Anna K is still with this guy? Crazy!

  17. Jerry

    GTFO Vete a la Chingada its about Right

  18. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    It is like the new thing for men to admit to their small penises–like, if they warn you about you’re not allowed to be disappointed. And if we are disappointed, then it is our fault.

  19. Jacob

    Who cares if he has a small wee wee… He’s super cute! I could think of lots of things we could do together for forever and ever that wouldn’t even need to make use of his allegedly small appendage!

  20. rican

    Se dice: “Fotos, o soplame el bicho so cabrón”

  21. Lynx

    I don’t believe this, why you ask? Well, from all the latina porn chicks I’ve beaten off to the dudes bangin them usually have big dongs.

  22. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    bonerofcuntention
    Commented on this photo:

    The dot on the chest looks like he’s being marked for assassination.

  23. little turtle head

    I don’t anyone in here should be making fun of smaller hung guys like me.. I’m only 3.5 uncircumcised and girls constantly cheat on me.. I haven’t been with one girl yet that hasn’t slept around on me and its not fair..

  24. Baby

    Not if they’re GAY, which Enrique IS.

  25. Anita Cocke

    Please ignore all the heretofore Mexican translations (which were excellent, in their country). “Fotos, o lárgate, coño.”

  26. Bob

    He should have learned something from his Dad. When Julio sang “to all the girls I’ve loved before” I imagine he meant it.

  27. LJ

    Reading these comments is hysterical.

    You mean you really don’t know why he used that line?

    Thanks for the laugh.

  28. kels

    I believe he has the smallest wee wee in teh world. his mom is filipino so that means he’s half asian which means he more than likely has a small penis.

  29. the one

    I wonder: IS THIS BREAKING NEWS???

  30. Porkpie

    It depends on how good he is with this mouth. Work a woman into a frenzy with your tongue and fingers, take her to climax then put your wee willy into her and finish yourself off.

  31. thenisaid

    eh. breath of fresh air, no matter how not sexy it is. sexy has become way boring.

  32. MyGodYouAreStupid

    Seriously people? He’s having fun with the media, laughing at your gullibility for believing it. As stated above, any guy that talks about having a small weiner doesn’t. I joke about it all the time, and am above average (not 9″ or 10″, though). Girls are pleasantly surprised. He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and even if he did have a small willy, what’s the issue? Really. Sex isn’t THAT important. Except for masturbation… THAT is a daily routine.

    • Jillia

      Agreed. My boyfriend jokes about it all the time but I’d say he’s about a 7 or 8 incher. Perfect size. Hits just the right spot. Doesn’t hurt he can lick the copper off a penny either. ;)

  33. MyGodYouAreStupid

    Or twice daily. More on sick days.

  34. haha

    He’s turned into a pathetic attention whore. The older he’s getting, the more of a man-whore he’s becoming. He must be feeling extremely insecure. He has no class anymore. His songs and videos used to be passionate. Now, his songs and videos remind one of nothing but porn. Disgusting.

  35. haha

    Obviously, he’s joking, people so i don’t get the comments where people are taking him seriously. He just wants to get his female fans “hot” by talking about his penis. He seems to be having his mid-life crisis a little too soon.

  36. Paloma

    It’s called a sense of humor. Look it up.

  37. Owen Dupree

    Power bottom

  38. 7stars

    ‘Iglesias then asked: “What does Spanish good looks have to do with the size of your penis? Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.“ ‘

    It’s an analogy people. How could the word “maybe” not tip you guys off?, sheesh. He’s saying you don’t know how big a guys junk is by how good looking they are (and he’s “serious”). It would be the same thing if he said “maybe I have ugly looks, but I have the largest penis in the world” (but that analogy wouldn’t be as good since he doesn’t have ugly looks, so the “maybe” wouldn’t work, and he would have to say “what if” instead).

    In other words, don’t judge a book by its cover (if a penis is the content of the book, which would be very superficial)

  39. Beefarino

    Even with a teeny peen, he gets to put it in Anna K so more power to him.

  40. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me be the judge on whether penis is big or not.

  41. Steelerchick

    Let me judge if it’s small.

  42. chingy

    ur gay fucker!!

  43. Enrique Iglesias Small Penis
    sam
    Commented on this photo:

    Pictures. We need pictures.

  44. Brooke

    Ha! I did’t realize this guy was a comedic mastermind. Too bas his music sucks. If he did open mic night and talked about his penis and contradictory past for fifteen minutes, though, I would total go.

  45. Jo Jo

    Howard Stern once had a “smallest penis” contest. Guys called in and asked to be contestants, and they all appeared on his show. A few of them literally had next to NOTHING. I’m talking like an inch, looking like a stub, or a swollen bug bite. Those really had to be the smallest in the world.

  46. Temari

    Well, no surprise there he’s half asian afterall….

    XD

  47. Yvette

    I don’t care how big his penis is he is still as hot as hell and one of the sexiest things on earth!!!

  48. Roy

    That’s fine…he can just bend over ;)

  49. This man does NOT have the smallest penis in the world. That distinction belongs to avid exhibitionist Jack Morley. Morley’s allegedly always hard dick is just 3 inches hard and less than 1 inch wide when fully engorged. Google “jack morleys penis” or check my profile for more.

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