Perving Over Emma Stone Caused The Best Picture Oscar Mistake

Considering Nicole Kidman’s freakishly long hands that will one day ensnare us all is now the top story to come out of the Oscars – Condolences, Mandi Gosling’s boobs. – I’m not sure why I’m circling back to the Best Picture flub. Then again, I just wrote about Mama June, so the answer is I am a whore. A shameless click-thirsty whore. Page Six reports:

Brian Cullinan, a partner at PricewaterhouseCoopers, which handles the Oscars voting, giddily posted a photo of “La La Land’’ star Emma Stone just three minutes before giving Beatty what was supposed to be the envelope containing the name of the Best Picture.
“Best Actress Emma Stone Backstage!” Cullinan tweeted at 9:05 p.m. PST, according to the Wall Street Journal. The newspaper obtained a copy of the post before it was yanked, allegedly along with the slew of other tweets the on-duty accountant sent out during the show.

PricewaterhouseCoopers has since confirmed the “breaches of established protocols,” which further proves why women should wear burqas at all times because bros be Instagramming. — Just kidding! That would be put me right out of business. Do not do that. Goddammit.

So now that we have a perfectly reasonable and corroborated version of events, only a monumental idiot would barrel into this fiasco and make it all about him.

“I think they were focused so hard on politics that they didn’t get the act together at the end,” the president told Breitbart News.
“It was a little sad,” added Trump. “It took away from the glamour of the Oscars. It didn’t feel like a very glamorous evening. I’ve been to the Oscars. There was something very special missing, and then to end that way was sad.”

That would be Donald Trump, President of the United States, finding time to complain about the Oscars being mean to him on the same day that bomb threats against Jewish schools and community centers were made in 11 states, which he did not find time for or Steve Bannon will haunt his dreams with a hand made out of knives.

Greatest country on earth, folks.

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