Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield Really Did Break Up (Maybe)

If you’re like me, you thought the absolute worst part of The Amazing Spider-Man reboots behind the unoriginal plot, shit acting, corny dialogue, zero direction, silly villains, no improvement in the CGI, and that WTF crane scene was the sickeningly-sweet aw shucks romance between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. Rooney Mara and Yorick van Wageningen had better chemistry in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. So, it probably won’t shock you that I could give a shit about these two breaking up or “taking a break,” or whatever bullshit their publicists are saying about them both being too busy with work. Via Us Weekly:

Garfield, for his part, has been busy filming Martin Scorsese’s flick Silence in Taiwan while Stone has been gracing the Broadway stage in Cabaret in New York City.

“He’s very in his character,” another insider tells Us of Garfield, who plays a Jesuit priest in Scorsese’s film. “He’s lost weight, and he’s in a dark place mentally for his performance and he’s not boyfriend material right now.”

He’s also not Scorsese material, with his watery eyes and one-note emotional range that makes every scene he’s in seem like he’s about to tearfully confess to some unforgivable act. *rereads part where it says he’s playing a priest* Nevermind, this whole thing checks out. Perfect casting for the role and they’re just taking a break, because monogamy works like a dream when you put it on a shelf for several months at a time while you’re 8,000 miles from the sex parts you have to lie about still finding attractive.

Photo: AKM-GSI, Getty