Eminem fires back at Mariah Carey

July 31st, 2009 // 101 Comments

In response to Nick Cannon’s open letter and Mariah Carey’s latest video, Eminem has released his latest song “The Warning,” and it’s pretty much everything you’d expect from Eminem. Via PopCrunch:

Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so ugly that you had to be drunk to me?
Second base? What the fuck you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something.
Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted early cos ejaculated early and bus all over your belly, and you almost started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you and don’t you dare say it isn’t true.
As long as the song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you.

You know what would be awesome about this song? If it were 2001 and more than five people know who the hell Nick Cannon is. That said, Eminem’s willingness to embarrass himself doesn’t exactly make everything he says true. For example, just because I’m willing to admit I only have a two foot long penis that doesn’t mean I can honestly claim to be Spider-man. — Or does it?

Only reason I dissed you in the first place is because you denied seeing me
Now I’m pissed off
Sit back and relax homey, kick back and relax, grab a six pack while I kick s
Yeah Dre’s sick track, perfect way to get back
Wanna hear something wick wack?
I got the exact same tattoo that’s on Nick’s back
I’m obsessed now
Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee
Wow Mariah, I didn’t expect her to go balls out
Bitch, shut the fuck up before I put all them phone calls out you
made to my house when you was wild n out before Nick
When you was on my dick and give you somethin to smile about
How many times you fly to my house? Still trying to count
Better shut your lying mouth if you don’t want Nick finding out
You probably think since it’s been so long if i had something on you I
woulda did it by now
On the contrary, Mary Poppins, I’m mixing our studio session down and
sending it to mastering to make it loud
Enough dirt on you to murder you
This is what the fuck I do
Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?
However you prefer to do and goes for you too, Nick, you got
You think I’m scared of you?
You gonna ruin my career you better get one
Like I’ma sit and fight with you over some slut bitch cunt who made
me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her
legs to let me hit once
Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky? Tell the public that I was so
ugly that you had to be drunk to me?
Second base? What the fuck you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something.
Listen, girly. Surely you don’t want me to talk about how I nutted
early cos ejaculated early and bus all over your belly, and you almost
started hurling and said I was gross, go get a towel you’re stomachs
curling. Or maybe you do.
But if I’m embarrassing me, I’m embarrassing you and don’t you dare
say it isn’t true.
As long as the song’s getting airplay I’m dissing you.
I’m a hair away from getting carried away and getting sued.
I was gonna stop at 16. This is 32. This is 34 bars. We ain’t even a
third of the way through.
Damn, Slim. Mariah played you. Mariah who?
Oh did I say “whore”, Nick? I meant a liar too.
Like I’ve been goin off on you all this time for no reason.
Girl you out ya alcholic mind. Check ya wine cellar. Look at all the
amounts of wine.
Like I sit around and think about you all the time.
I just think this is funny when I pounce you on a rhyme.
But it now i’m about to draw the line.
And for you to cross it that’s a mountain that I doubt you wanna climb.
I can describe areas of your house that you wouldn’t find on an episode of Cribs
A blubba load ribs (?) so don’t go opening your jibs cos every time
you do it’s just another load of fibs
I ain’t saying this shi*t again, ho. You know what it is.
It’s a warning shot for before I blow up ya whole spot
Call my bluff and I’ll release every fucking thing I got
Including the voicemails right before you flipped your top
When me and Luis were tryin’ to stick two CD’s in the same spot
(Slim Shady ?????? I love you)
I love you too
Let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear, boo. Now what you say?
(It’s nothing)
Guess what I’ll do?
I’ll refresh your memory when you said “I want you”
Now should I keep going or should we call truce?
(You think you’re cute, right? Hahaha)
You bet your sweet ass I do
(I’m Mary Poppins, b)
And I’m Superman, mmm
(Mary P. Slim Shady)
Comin’ at you
So if you’ll still be my (babygirl)
Then I’ll still be your (Superhero, Wilma M.)
Yeah, I’m right here
(You like this)
Nope. Not anymore, Dear.
It cuts like a (knife) when I tell ya get a (life)
But I’m movin on with mine
Nick, is that your (wife)
Well tell her to shut her mouth then I’ll leave her alone
If she don’t (sing this script?) then I’ma just keep goin
(I see Mary Ann. Mary Ann’s saying “cut the tape, cut the tape”. Knife!)

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. stears

    first

  2. lina

    first

  3. stefani

    i like how em disses people and doesn’t give a fuck about embarressing himself along the way.. he gets his point across tho.

  4. Hammertime

    Nick Cannon is a little fag.

  5. frank

    third He’s a bitch

  6. DMM???

    first!!!!!!!!

  7. B

    The Zooey Deschanel is strong with this page today.

  8. Sam

    Fuck mariah carey and nick cannon, Eminem owns you bitches and all u fans of mariah carey can suck my dick fucking homos.

  9. King Daddy Snake

    I nutted all over M and M’s ass. Do you think I should write a song about it?

  10. Annie Likes Anal

    Personally, I hate the work “nutted”. It reminds me of “nutella”, that weird german chocalate spread shit krauts make and kobe bryant was endorsing. Thank god he ass-raped that hotel worker and put an end to marketing it in the states. Trust me, chocolate and jizz don’t mix. I know from experience.

  11. mensa

    #8 that is way too much anger for someone who is not Eminem. Unless “Sam” is your code name.

  12. RB

    I really don’t care about any of this silliness, but it’s more entertaining than Drumline and Glitter put together!

  13. Jonny D

    That was tight!

  14. Richard McBeef

    Why wouldn’t he bust it on her titties?

  15. havoc

    Eminem Fires Back….

    Now if we could just get him to fire a .45 slug into the side of his own head.

    That would be super….

    .

  16. Savalas

    What is this? 1999?

  17. Barbara

    That guy as lost is skills… he ain’t funny

  18. @10.. Please get your facts right about Nutella you stupid fuck.. It was developed in Piedmont, Italy.

    As for Eminem, I’m suprised people listen to his stupid salad-tossed lyrics these days…wait.. RAP is still popular?! BWAUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA..

  19. cracka ass

    hey I nut early too I’m just like Eminiem.

  20. What ever! so hes fighting with another female, so what else is new…

  21. Crabby Old Guy

    So he shot his load on her tummy rather than (a.) her box, (b.) her tits, (c.) her mouth or (d.) her face.

    WTF dude? If you feel it ‘s coming, spray her like you’re workin’ the paint shop at GM and she’s a Chevy Impala.

    Waste of some perfectly good jizzim.

    I would have opted for “b”, btw – too hard to miss those targets.

    Sincerely,

    Mr. Sensitive

  22. Its a great song and Em tells it like it is, what more do you want.
    The Rake
    http://thefilmnest.com

  23. Sport

    Battle of the Irrelevants.

  24. Annie Likes Anal

    Wow 18! Sorry buddy, wrong country. I stand corrected, so why don’t you choke on a meatball, our your Mamma’s chewed up clit (same thing, basically) you stupid, worthless, Italian greaseball. As for your statement about rap, WTF are you talking about? Why don’t you just hop into your IROC and head up to the Jersey shore so you can hook up some long island skank, you stupid, knuckle dragging, finger sniffing retard.

  25. Sport

    ^^ awesome retort ^^

  26. Abeille

    Carey is a lunatic and Mathers is a twisted, snide, no-talent pissant who seriously, desperately needs a first-class ass-whipping from someone who really IS tough.

    They bring nothing to their “music”, so no one should be surprised when these narcissistic humps can’t manage to properly bone each other, either. Self-absorbed weirdos like this are only jerking off on the world anyway (remember David Carradine?), so they should just do us all a favor, get into the rope closet and get to work.

    Pathetic…

  27. jaime

    holy moly, that was rough!
    i can’t wait to see these alleged pictures he has.

  28. Gracie

    Haha #26 Very true!

  29. jaime

    and very funny.

  30. Happy Hiker

    I hope she comes back at him so we can see these pictures and messages… ; P

  31. Happy Hiker

    I hope she comes back at him so we can see these pictures and messages… ; P

  32. Limbaugh's Diabetes

    Oh please. Eminem is *so* over. Remember when he was in 8 Mile and snaggle-toothed waitresses across the country were like “OMG! He can act! He deserves an Oscar!” *BARF* He couldn’t act his way out of a wet paper sack that was open on both ends. The only people who care about him these days are 15 year olds with 2 inch penises who get their asses beaten by their stepdads every day. Eminem isn’t good enough to be a fag – he’s just average, boring, pussy-whipped and dumb. Just like his loser fans! *FACE*

  33. R.I.P.Each

    He sounds just like my great aunt Rita.

  34. yuki

    hey eminem, i know your reading this because you get all your material from celebutard blogs.
    plz make your next song about dissin jon gosselin.
    oh and maybe one song about lohan.
    k thnx.

  35. mrs.t

    So, what kind of sad paparazzi hangs outside Ye Olde Douche Club to snap that ever-elusive shot of Eminem with Travis Barker?

  36. Jamie's Uterus

    Why does this faggy douche always pick on girls? I thought Eminem left the business, but he must of ran out of money, or his ego couldn’t stand to be out of the limelight.

    He’s a little douche. Mariah is an amazon, she could even take that turd.

  37. M-

    Why does he think anyone cares?

  38. Langdon

    True story: One winter Eminem tried to grow a beard to keep his face warm. He shaved it after a week because it was hard to comb my sperm out.

  39. blp

    He may be self obsessed or narcissistic and you can diss him all you want but who doesn’t want to be able to rap like that and make his money?

  40. ming

    Nick/Mariah should never have responded to him in the first place. If they hadn’t than no one would have believed Eminem or cared about any of this. But by responding to him they’ve given him credibility and situated themselves in a conflict they can’t possibly win because neither is clever or talented enough, while Eminem is possibly the greatest rapper of all time. The sad thing is that both are too stupid not to respond to him. This will end in pictures.

  41. Delgo

    could two people sweat each other more?

  42. Ugh

    Ugh. Those lyrics have TMI (too much information).

  43. Galactus

    I don’t get it.

  44. Brad

    When is he going to grow up and start acting like a white man? All that black talk is just embarrassing. Mr Mathers, you were born white. Be thankful for that.

  45. Danklin24

    Thats a pretty sweater there Marshall, did you raid Kims wardrobe to find that?

  46. Danklin24

    He picks on girls because he knows if he messed with any guys that are actually tough he’ll get his ass handed to him or shot. Spit some rhymes about Sug Knight, Marshall. Call him a fat ugly n*gger! Yeah that’ll be good Em. Tell Biggie Smalls and Tupac i said what up?!

  47. Come on

    Funny that this is all happening at record release time. I bet they are all in on it together. Strugglin oldies who know how to fuck with the media, which in turn fucks with us and we all LOVE the drama. SMART.

  48. Come on

    Funny that this is all happening at record release time. I bet they are all in on it together. Strugglin oldies who know how to fuck with the media, which in turn fucks with us and we all LOVE the drama. SMART.

  49. wiggers suck

    What kind of homo wigger listens to Marshall Mathers?

  50. snickers

    Which bitch will win this catfight?

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