Eminem beats people up in strip club bathrooms

July 14th, 2006 // 96 Comments
eminem-beatup.jpg

Eminem has been accused of beating up a man in a strip club bathroom and police are “very interested” in speaking with him. The fight allegedly broke out yesterday morning at Cheetah strip club when Eminem supposedly punched a man four or five times in the face after another fan tried talking to him while he was peeing.

The victim told WXYZ that he was using a urinal next to Eminem when another man entered the bathroom and struck up a conversation with the rapper. At that point, Miad J. said that one of Em’s bodyguards warned the man to keep quiet. Miad J. said he told the bodyguard to relax, and when “Eminem got done … he started swinging,” he told WXYZ. “I wasn’t even expecting it. I was just minding my own business.”

To be fair to Eminem, I punch people all the time when they try talking to me while I pee. Heck, I punch them just for making eye contact if I’m walking through a room. I figure being able to bench press a car has earned me that right.


  1. Errrika

    Whatever.. no one cares. What’s with the ring on his left finger? I thought he and the bitch got divorced again.

  2. whoworksatworkanyhow

    so what…he attacked the guy that was peeing beside him all quiet like? or did he beat up the guy that was talking? knowing Em he probably kicked both their asses. he is one guy who appreciates his fans with his fists.

  3. Fugurself

    Em is one confused white man….part-time rapper and part-time actor.

    …and full-time shitbag!

  4. waterranger

    I’m confused – Eminem is still alive? I thought he died at the end of that movie he made about his life. I mean, some one else’s life. About a poor white rapper that no one likes and absolutly no one cares about.

  5. bigponie

    maybe he just beat his meat

  6. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    Again, it’s not like he didn’t warn us – he did make that video where the guy comes up to him in the toilet and bothers him.

    LYRICS:
    “But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone, When you freaks see me out in the streets when I’m eating or feedin’ my daughter, To not come and speak to me
    I don’t know you and no I don’t owe you a motherfuckin thing, I’m not Mr. NSYNC and I’m not what your friends think, I’m not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick, if you tip me my tank is on empty, No patience is in me and if you offend me I’m lifting you ten feet, In the air, I don’t care who was there and who saw me just jaw you, Go call you a lawyer file you a lawsuit, I’ll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe, I’m tired of arguing – I don’t mean to mean but it’s all I can be, It’s just me”

    Keyword – ‘Jaw You’ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

  7. The guy whose ass he kicked must’ve been a midget or physically handicapped, as Em is 5’7″ in his Air Jordans. It would also explain why the apparently overpaid bodyguard did nothing. I’m sure we’ll learn all about it in one of his “genius” raps. He’s this generations Weird Al.

  8. Don Boogie

    So his bodyguard goes to the bathroom with him? What a badass.

  9. jFp

    sounds like a case of penis envy turning into urinal-rage………..

    he can’t pee and talk at the same time????
    what a bitch.

  10. jane's eyre

    8
    Shore does, he stands behind him and holds it for him with one hand, while massaging his prostate with the other hand.

    Yuck, I just got an involuntary shudder.

  11. lovelylayla

    OK SF guy, he may not be hot, but at least its not Pam, Lohan, or Paris. I’ll settle for Em. If you want your present, you know where to find me…if you want me to swallow, you’ll put up some Johnny Depp all dirty and piratey. xoxoxox

  12. Em is sooo hot. I’d do him without even thinking about it.

  13. azcoyote

    I won’t even talk to people I know if we are taking a piss. THat is just pure urinal etiquette. The guy is an asshole for piss-talking… How annoying…

    But seriouisly, I would love to know how this guy got his ass kicked by someone as little as Eminem. Body guard aside, his ass would be owned if he tried to pull that on someone 6′ 4″ 200+…

    He would have needed that body guard and then some…

  14. azcoyote

    #12 – Try though you may, I doubt you will change the image you have cultivated here… I think we can all imagine you having sex with a hhorse long before you ever have sex with a celebrity… Of course, you will come online and declare that the horse is ‘so hot. I’d do him without even thinking about it.’ prior so it would be OK. We wouldn’t judge…

    TCLTC!!!
    Time for a new one…

    MHLHC
    Megan Harris Loves Horse Cock

  15. ICouldn'tResist

    Ma-Ma

  16. francesfarmer

    If Britney Spears is cuntry than Eminem is a white alcohol sack of shit no good trailer trash wigger…and MHLHC, it’s one to call Eminem hot it’s another to say you wouldn’t even think before sleeping with him I bet you masturbate to pictures of the mole create that Seal and Heidi Klum created

  17. francesfarmer

    ahem I mean creature, like that thing living inside your vagina after you sleep with anything that’s remotely close to a diseased penis

  18. jane's eyre

    And by creature you mean that Sarlacc monster from Return of the Jedi, that sits at the bottom of the hole in the sand, that digests its victims for a 1000 years.

  19. WorldWideWendy

    It’s just after 8am in Hong Kong- and when I read the words…
    ‘em and em comes out swinging’
    so many things enter my mind before I think of punching.
    Like m and m comes out swinging could mean…”Hi guys, it’s me ‘EM’- yooo whoo sailors, hello, it’s me, EMMY- I’m out, and I’m ready to swing”
    OR it could mean
    ” hey, here’s a little tune from a while ago that I KNOW will get you boppin’- take it away Count bassie….” and then his fingers would start clicking and the sound would SWING man.
    See.
    That’s what happens when I don’t take enough chemicals.
    I think about this kind of shit.

  20. WorldWideWendy

    And TC DOES LTC.

  21. bunnyhugger

    see? i always figured he’d be a fun guy to hang with.

    seriously, sounds like extreme homophobia to me.

    or denial. dirtbag.

  22. azcoyote

    #21 – The scene they left out of 8 Mile was when his drunk uncle used to come to visit. He was a street magician from the trailer park… He used to love to stick his penis in the Rabbit Hole…. It all makes sense now…

    TCLTC – Just waiting to see this on South Park…

  23. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest

    I know the guy is annoying but who knows the real story? I mean we are hearing the guys side who right now is trying to build a case for his lawsuit. I mean I believe it could happen. The guy is stupid enough to remarry that crazy twat ,so much is possible.

  24. WorldWideWendy

    I think the real story here is that the persn watching the wee wee comming out Mr M was DAVID HASSELHOFF, who then cut himself on a kleenex, and had to invent another person to cover up the other thing.
    Ya see, it’s all to do with the kennady assasination, and the fact that there are no PURPLE M and M’s.
    see where I’m going with this?

  25. Sir Psycho Sexy

    12. If I was a rather homely girl, or a big fat slab of hog, or had a face like Hillary Swank, with no reasonable expectation of getting laid, I might have play the Marshall Mathers lawsuit lottery too.

    On the subject of inevitable lawsuits, why else would anyone admit that he got his ass kicked in a mens room by Marshall fucking Mathers, a boney homophobe who couldn’t bench press my schlong?

  26. cat_taylor

    well duh he got pissed. everyone knows you don’t talk to eminem while he’s pissin. he has major penis envy because he hangs out with black dudes all day. duh. shit.

  27. Good. I hope he beat the shit out of the guy. Who cares.

  28. Sir Psycho Sexy

    *played*

  29. MeganNorrisHasselhoff

    Wow, I would do him hard and fast, while thinking about The Hoff.

  30. CakeGirl

    I think he’s strangely hot, even though I can’t stand his music and am slightly repelled by the white trash aspect. I also hate how his ex used black eyeliner on her mouth. Not sure if I’d do him, but I’d definitely grope him.

  31. MeganNorrisHasselhoff

    I’d lick him until he wasn’t white trash anymore.

  32. jFp

    fighting in the john is gay

    (remember how fonzi had his office in there……that was gay too)

  33. MeganNorrisHasselhoff

    Who is fonzi?

  34. He is definitely hot. And has alot of passion on ALL levels. Right and wrong. he’s dirty and he stirs my soul.
    Motherfucker.

  35. CruisingForCock

    I’d ride him, hard. However, I was more passionate about him before he re-married that crackwhore.

  36. krisdylee

    Fonzi. hee hee hee.

    I hate Eminem. But I sort of love hime too.

  37. CruisingForCock

    Kris – we came at the same time!

  38. Pete

    Sorry, is this a story?

    Because I’m pretty sure the same thing happened to me yesterday. It’s not as if Eminem getting mad at someone for making fun of his small dick is exactly newsbreaking, people.

    TCLTC, and so does Eminem.
    Just not his, cause it’s small.

  39. xc0mplicated

    I would fuck him ’till his spine cracks.

  40. Sheva

    Funny whenever I grew up girls didn’t have any time for little guys that looked like 12 year old boys before puberty.

    But say some stupid nursery rhymes with curses and stuff his pockets with money from the country’s surburban punks and voila, the punk is fuckable.

    Only in America.

  41. Sir Psycho Sexy

    38. Just to be clear, you’re saying that the same thing happened to you yesterday, someone made fun of your small dick? Or, Marshall caught you meat gazing and turned his gay posse loose on your ass?

    Damn, too easy, …

  42. MeganNorrisHasselhoff

    I <3 Sir Psycho Sexy

  43. Shallow

    Is there any way to keep from having to resign in to this damn thing even though I click the nice fugly checkbox to keep me signed in for 2 weeks?

    I hope Em washed his hands before he beat the guy up… at least he will have street cred now yo’. Oh, and doesn’t Em have enough money to have his OWN strip club? Or is he looking for some white trash to relate to there somehow?

  44. Sir Psycho Sexy

    35., 36. You ladies seem to be getting all worked up over Marshall. Meet the competition.

    http://www.theeminemblog.com/2006/06/23/recent-kim-mathers-pic/

    Yeah, he’s a catch. I get it now, …

  45. Flint

    LOL. This story is absurd. We all know that Eminem could beat up anyone stronger that Steven Hawking.

    Eminem reminds me of that pasty little bastard in highschool that would stare at your wiener in the locker room. The Meat Inspector. He has no friends…but he is loaded and I blame you!

  46. PongGod

    That story title must contain a typo. Surely it was intended to read, “Eminem beats people OFF in strip club bathrooms”.

  47. funkygoldmedallions

    Eminem is the biggest fucking pussy around. So far he has taken on 1. His ex-wife 2. a dog puppet 3. Moby and now 4. a guy with his back to Eminem who is minding his own business taking a piss (you dont get much more vulnerable than that) while Eminem has back-up from a bodyguard. Whose next? Barney? Taylor Hicks? Katie Couric? Suri Cruise? What a jerkoff.

  48. Binky

    I’m afraid that M & M’s peaked during the ET era.
    YuuuuOooo – if you want Street-cred 2 day maybe try not being a multi-millionaire.
    Maybe try not having a home, heath care, a job or a future.
    Then sing a few songs.
    Until then – fine – piss off.

  49. Binky

    (But you could always put smart-ass comments on the internet)

  50. MeganNorrisHasselhoff

    Hey you insomniacs, pillow fight at my house!

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