Elton John to Lindsay Lohan: ‘Ditch the Family’

October 21st, 2010 // 12 Comments
Elton John Gives Lindsay Advice

While speaking to reporters at an AIDS benefit in Manhattan, Elton John offered some advice to Lindsay Lohan. Namely ditching her family of “enablers” and going to a rehab “boot camp” that doesn’t have “televisions and a swimming pool.” Unfortunately, the only thing Lindsay will hear is: “I’m Elton John and I know who Lindsay Lohan is. Everyone needs to stop destroying her. Why do they make strollers invisible? That doesn’t seem fair to people in cars.”

Ha! I’m kidding. His face just melted into a pile of blow that looks like her dad. “Snort me, Lindsay. Make me go bye-bye.”

Photo: Splash News

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  1. Lady Blah Blah

    Me to Elton John: Ditch the rug.

    • fester

      Really Elton… lose the wig, get some darker shades and we’ll let you be Laurence Fishburne’s flabby Caucasian mini-Morpheus.

  2. As if he’s been relevant since the 70s? But yeah we all been talking about bootcamp in here for awhile. And ditching the parents. Way to catch up, reggie.

    Also hope michael lives up to his no more media promise. Thats the kind of positive example lindsay needs. Who btw has now gone 25 days without twittering every rush of shit to th brain. Good work dollface.

  3. The ONLY HETERO in this Joint

    Memo to Elton: Ditch the penis.

  4. Memo to Elton: Don’t open your mouth except to sing or to allow penises entry.

  5. And they are still sick?

    FUCK THAT…THEY ARE CRY BABY RICH PEOPLE WHO CAN’T STOP SNORTING THE MONEY THEY HAVE…WHO CARES?

    My friend has cancer. He’s sick.

  6. The old queen is wise. I’m sure he knows a thing or 2 about leeches & hangers-on in the entertainment industry.

  7. Tabby

    I heard that Elton is really a moody jerk-off, so he’s the last person that should be giving anyone advise.

    The guy was married to a woman once because he doesn’t even know if he’s gay or not.

    He went to Tucson to perform and couldn’t even sell out the event, so he pretended he was sick, then the next night when he did preformed, all of his oldies, he had an excuse for no one being there. Elton hasn’t had a hit in 25 years, so know one under in their 20s want to listen to his old crap, especially ASU students….. Go Wildcats!

  8. Elton’s entire pre-eighties music catalog just called and said that Elton can say whatever the fuck he wants.

  9. I love his music, especially his hits “Don’t let your son go down on me” and “Can you feel the glove tonight?”

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