Elton John Calls Madonna A ‘Fairground Stripper’

August 6th, 2012 // 46 Comments
Elton John
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Notice how I used a pic of Elton standing next to the American flag for this momentous occasion? Suck it, England.

In a new interview with Australia’s Channel 7, Elton John calls Madonna‘s current tour a “disaster” that “couldn’t happen to a bigger cunt” which really isn’t a polite thing to say to a woman who has to carry around an anti-death device just to make it past breakfast. — I’m joking. Let’s hear more! Via Gossip Cop:

“If Madonna had any common sense, she would have made a record like Ray of Light, stayed away from the dance stuff, and just been a great pop singer and made great pop records, which she does brilliantly,” says John. “But no, she had to prove that she [could do it all]… and she looks like a fucking fairground stripper.”

He then added, “And just by saying this, I’ve, of course, laid my cards on the table. For yes, Madonna, I have at last plucked the Cosmic Spear from the hands of Thanos, for today is the day of your reckoning. Just as I know I love cock, know that your dark reign is at an end, you gypsy warbler, I’ll slap you fucking silly.”

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Capitalist Pancake

    Hilarious and true.

  2. Enidaj

    This is why I will always love Elton John.

  3. SIr Elton kicks ass, and he knows ass when he sees it.

  4. Cock Dr

    Bitchfight!
    I’ll put a 10 on Madonna. She will wrapped her gnarled fingers round this soft & pudgy poofter’s neck and ease him into her Realm of Darkness.
    She’s got to catch him first though. That could be tricky.

  5. GrandDragon

    Sir Elton has more talent in his stinky pinky finger than Madonna has in her entire FUPA.

    • Sydney Dude

      Elton John is a pop music genius and one of the very few truly significant popular artists since the Beatles. His and Bernie’s music can be raunchy, it can rock out and it can be simply beautiful. As far as I am concerned , he is 100% correct about the character of “Mad-on-her” . Elton does not even need to go to the musical attributes of her , as there are none worth mentioning.

      When it comes to matters musical, he is one of the Masters, and we are in his debt.

  6. El Jefe

    I love that he hates Madonna and is not afraid to just blast her in public.

    • Lemmiwinks

      Elton occupies a higher echelon (living legend status) so his criticism amounts to kicking down… which isn’t really cool but Elton doesn’t care about aging gracefully and Madonna has been on his shit-list for awhile.

  7. Oh, Fish – “funnel cake” just put it right over the top. Nothing any of us can write will ever top that.

  8. kimmykimkim

    Fish left out the part where Elton says that Madonna’s been horrible to Gaga.

  9. I don’t think he knows what the hell he’s talking about. I never seen strippers at the Fairground in my state. In fact, the only thing I ever saw naked there was farm animals, like pigs… oh, maybe he is right.

    • See if your local library has this on its shelves:

      [img]http://www.rosegallery.net/data/photos/1646_1Meiselas_CarnivalStrippers.jpg[/img]

      (Note: If you live in Manhattan, Queens, or Brooklyn, I can tell you the answer is “yes.”)

  10. it had to be said

    Note to self: avoid fairground strip shows.

  11. Madonna has always been a low class whore who got where she is through self-promotion and fucking record producers that made her sound good. The truth is that she is average in every way; average looks, average singing voice and average dancing ability. Sure, she’s made some great songs but she will NEVER be as iconic as Debbie Harry, my favorite singer, whose Heart of Glass music video made her an icon with a simple video that showed off her stunning beauty and fantastic voice not to mention that DH never had to shove her crotch in people’s faces or stir up controversey unlike the dirty carnival stripper that Elton John speaks of.

    • Whoopi

      I was gonna agree with you up to the part when you mention Debbie Harry. She hasn’t peaked ever since the 80′s.
      Could you come up with a better example? I know you can do better than that.

      • catapostrophe

        “She hasn’t peaked since the ’80s”? When one peaks, it means they’ve reached the pinnacle of their career. Debbie Harry peaked in the ’70s, Madonna in the ’80s. There is but the one peak.

      • Pat C.

        A rare artist will have multiple peaks – Bob Dylan (mid-60s and 1997-2006), Carlos Santana (1969-70 and 1999), and even Madonna hit another peak in 1997 with Ray of Light, as Elton points out. Much as I loved Debbie Harry / Blondie I can’t think of anything that made an impact outside of 1977-1980 time frame.

  12. Paulie McGonagle

    So this is what a queen looks like ?

  13. Score one for the man behind such hits as Can You Feel the Glove Tonight? and Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me

  14. Blubbo The Clown

    Madonna needs to listen to Grace Slick who once said that no one over the age of 30 should be up on stage like that. Instead she’s up there trying so hard to be someone’s “cool mom” who “just wants to hang” with the teenagers of today, and failing miserably.

    Mark my words, we’re going to find out that Lourdes has been living in “Mommy Dearest” land for most of her young life (yes that’s a movie, go look it up).

  15. cc

    Have to say, that’s the best putdown I’ve heard out of an Englishman since Christopher Hitchens passed away.

  16. Whores in the Classroom

    LOVE him, the old codger!

  17. Elton John tells it like it is. Madonna is too old for this shit.

  18. Perfect! Elton and Karl Lagerfeld should hang out. Except you know Kunty Karl is never going to kick it with a fat trick like Elton.

  19. Carla

    The entire interview was great, he’s fucking outstanding!

  20. BSname

    This was enjoyable to hear.
    Elton should try to take better care of his health. I realize he is getting on in years but he seemed a bit short of breath throughout the entire interview.
    Elton, Take some time off and try to get in better shape.

  21. MZ/X

    Nothing like two old bitches arguing who doesn’t have the figure for lingerie and mini skirt anymore! But yes, he’s absolutely correct.

  22. EricHarris

    Love Elton John!

    He’s always shitting on Madonna.

  23. Don’t let Gammy see the newspaper.

  24. TrixieC

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Madonna just needs to go away. That last stunt with the guns after the Colorado massacre was beyond tasteless. Please, please retire! Take your boy toy and go!

  25. Basement Jack

    Forget the Madonna crap for a minute. Elton John picked Lady Gaga to be his child’s god mother? Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a desperate bid to stay relevant. What a load of bs

    • kimmykimkim

      I don’t think Elton needs anybody’s help to stay relevant. He’s Elton fucking John. He writes musicals and shit. He’s set for a few lifetimes. And believe it or not, Lady Gaga is a decent human being. At Elton’s age, just having a kid, he’s gotta pick someone to take care of the kid when he and David die. And it’s gotta be a gay icon. Cher is too old and Madonna would eat the baby, so that leaves Lady Gaga.

  26. IAMSTRAIGHT

    Madonna reminds me of Lola, the titular character that Barry Manilow sings about in his 70s hit, Cococabana

  27. Hugh Jazz

    When are you gonna calm down?
    When are you going to land?
    You should have stayed in New York
    You should have listened to Sean Penn
    You know you can’t hold on forever
    Your veiny arms tell us the truth
    You not a present-day Diva to show off
    Ur much too old to be singing the tunes.

  28. Sheppy

    “Notice how I used a pic of Elton standing next to the American flag for this momentous occasion? Suck it, England.”

    Hey, you leave out Queen alone!

  29. I don’t like maddog. I think Elton should just ignore her just like everybody else. She will eventually figure that out and disappear.

  30. The Keebler Elves are missing one of their fudge packers

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