Elton John and David Furnish Had a Baby

December 28th, 2010 // 65 Comments

Apparently by appeasing the Leprechaun Guild. So that’s how they do it…

Elton John and his husband David Furnish have acquired a baby. The child was born on Christmas Day – That should go over well. – to a surrogate mother, according to Us Magazine:

“We are overwhelmed with happiness and joy at this very special moment,” John and Furnish tell Us in a joint statement. “Zachary is healthy and doing really well, and we are very proud and happy parents.”
This is the first child for John, 62, and Furnish, 48. The couple married in 2005 after 12 years together.

Was a surrogate really necessary? I mean, I understand the whole fertilize the egg with your own sperm angle, but c’mon, aren’t there enough babies out there that need to be adopted? If the gays really want to win over the hearts and minds of America, they should start taking babies from those Teen Mom kids. And I’m not even talking about adoption. I’m talking about running up, throwing sequins in their face, then straight snatching the kid. Even the most homophobic of Christians would give them a medal. “You done good, queer. You done good…”

Photos: Splash News


  1. Nothing like having parents who will be too old to do anything with their kid except get the Early Bird special.

  2. Cock Dr

    That baby will be very well accessorized.
    Congrats on the Xmas baby.
    Now Elton & Dave will break up.

  3. Best advice Fish has EVER given:

    “If the gays really want to win over the hearts and minds of America, they should start taking babies from those Teen Mom kids. And I’m not even talking about adoption. I’m talking about running up, throwing sequins in their face, then straight snatching the kid.”

  4. Salvia

    Hope to the baby is black for the ultimate fashion statement.

  5. Banester

    Ha! I thought this was the first asshole baby until I read that some woman in CA gave birth to it.

  6. Who got to be the sperm donor? That had to be an interesting choice.

  7. misterfister

    I got a dollar that says they try and stick the pacifier in the baby’s ass to make it stop crying.

  8. FattyFatty2X4

    Best of 2010. #69
    You’re welcome for that visual.
    Here to help.

  9. poopsmith

    i agree, more people need to adopt, straight or gay. not waste thousands of dollars for test tube babies and surrogates

    • mcfeely smackup

      I disagree. The problem isn’t that more people need to adopt, the problem is that more people need to NOT HAVE BABIES they don’t want. It’s like people are constantly surprised with sexual behavior has the expected result.

      • Andriiya

        I must agree with mr. smackup here. Adopting babies is doing about as much good as buying a puppymill dog. All it does is help the one you saved, while increasing the problem. If poor/unfit/stupid people would stop having children, then there would be no homeless/starving children left in the world within 2 decades.

  10. Noeffenname

    Bit harsh about the “should adopt” comment …in fact they but got rejected
    Congrats Rocket Man!

  11. Noeffenname

    In fact they tried. ^ ^ typo above

  12. Roger

    I didn’t know you could make a baby by rubbing two penises together.

  13. jojo

    Elton looks so proud. Now to shed that excess baby weight.

  14. All the rough moves

    I agree with the “rocket man” going through surrogate. If any one going to choke you in your sleep, (Because they were raised with a lot of “gay love”/could be any reason) when you get old and brittle it should be someone of your own stock.

  15. itsme.

    I just don’t understand why a 62 year old man wants to be the father to a new born. Babies take a lot of energy, more energy than somebody even 45 can handle. Yes, I get it, he’s rich and will have nannies. But he needs to consider that chances are pretty decent that he won’t be alive when the kid graduates high school. He was (maybe still is) a heavy smoker, did a lot of drugs, had a serious alcohol problem, and has had gay sex (butt sex) his entire life. He can’t have a whole lot of time left based on the abuse of his body.

    • Pangulin

      Perhaps all the negative and usually harmful habits have counteracted each other and Elton will live to be as old as Methusela! There is still so much for us to learn about the human body and how it reacts to what should be harmful activity and substances.
      My paternal great grandmother smoked cigars, drank whiskey by the gallon and never meant a man she didn’t love, if you catch my drift. She died of a massive coronary at 94.She was found kneeling in her 1/4 acre garden, where she had apparently been pulling weeds at the time of her demise. Only thing seemingly missing in her scenario is the “lifelong butt sex”!

  16. xtina

    oh god no, that poor child. this is not a good family environment, his life, and dont mean the gay, i mean the anger, age, and disfunction. children are not pets!

  17. Blah, Blah, Blah, Silver Spoon, Blah, Blah, Blah, Anal Beads, Blah, Blah, Blah, Punchline. Ta-da.

  18. vandal

    Horrible little cunt.

  19. Pangulin

    Fish, I think your first line is a bit off….Elton IS the Leprachaun God!

  20. TetterkeT

    THEY did not have a baby. Clearly. Unless there is some new evolutionary natural selection process going on that allows men to get pregnant in their asses that I have not been informed of.

    • Pangulin

      Quite obviously you and several others among the faithful here at “The Superficial” have not been exposed to the “Mr Mom stories” reported over the past several years by many of the hard news agencies. There is in fact, a male who has either two or three children which he personally has given birth to. Evolution is a tricky subject and by its’ very nature it is always evolving! Pun intended!

      • xTURDx

        also, no man has ever gotten pregnant. you are ignorant. they had a gender change, but not sex reassignment surgery. thats why they had kids. they looked like a male, but technically were female.

  21. Elton John
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, you’re telling me this guy is gay?

  22. micky mackdougal

    it is their life and their choice. why are you all so mean spirited? the child will want for nothing. they did this because they have a lot of love to give leave them alone and be happy for them. i am strait and believe me i do not think most of us should be propigating.

  23. Mortimer Duke

    They should have adopted and being gay is not ok. Im tired of all of these shows and people making it like some cool shit to do. Not saying anyone should be ashamed, but quit shoving it down our throats already. ( thats what he said)

    • sean

      You’re absolutely right. Mainstreaming homosexuality will be the undoing of Western civilization. You can’t fight nature. Homosexuality is against nature. Two men CAN’T have a baby, nor should they raise one because nature does not intend for two men to raise a baby. Our society is sick. But don’t worry, the Muslims are ready to step in after the West crumbles. Then guess how much fun the gays are going to have……

    • Pangulin

      I would hazard a guess that the reason there are so many stories etc about the gay lifestyle being as you put it,” shoved down our throats” has more to do with ratings and site hits than anything else.
      The fact is people like yourself continue to draw attention to these programs and postings with your constant shrill screeching about how it is unnatural, etc. This type of activity is just one more form of promotional activity as far as the people producing the shows and postings are concerned . There is an old saying in the entertainment community that there is no such thing as bad publicity. What this means is that anytime your name or the name of your project is in front of the public,it is a good thing.
      Perhaps, if all of you with similar beliefs shut the hell up and quit your asinine comments, the producers of and people who write these items would not be so quick to waste resources on stuff that garners them no publicity.
      One final thought, the only difference between the Christian religion and the Muslim religion with regards to wanting to force others to follow your beliefs is the name by which you refer to yourselves. Not everyone in the world is a follower of one of those two religions, nor is there any truly hard scientific evidence that either of those religions is the guardian of the truth about God.
      Both the Qu’ran and the Bible were written by men according to their beliefs.
      They are histories of peoples and genealogies, collections of prayers and many things but they are not necessarily the words of God given to man as a set of rules for his life. That aspect comes from the followers of the various teachers and prophets and of itself is the thing which is unnatural.
      Nature is about the interconnection of all things, therefore anything which occurs in nature is natural.Man is not above nature he is part of the overall fabric of nature.
      Now, go forth and keep this single rule in your heart,live by it and you will be a better person and truer to God’s plan than anything you ever have done before…..Never knowingly do harm to another living thing!

  24. Lady Blah Blah

    Well, as Elton John sings in the hit single from his 1974 album Caribou:

    “Don’t let your son go down on me
    Although I search myself, it’s always someone else I see
    I’d just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
    But losing everything is like your son going down on me”

  25. me

    “Elton John and David Furnish Had a Baby”


  26. Andriiya

    “Even the most homophobic of Christians would give them a medal.”
    I really thought you knew christians better than that, you could show them Christ rise from the grave and have a 24 hour all male ass orgy and they’d still say God hates queers.

    • s'up bitches

      Of course Christ didn’t have an ass orgy. Him and John had been a steady item for months. Everyone knows JC was totally monogamous in a relationship.

  27. read

    from BBC:
    Last year the couple tried to adopt a 14-month-old HIV positive boy from Ukraine named Lev.

    However, Ukrainian officials said Sir Elton, 63, was too old and his civil partnership with Mr Furnish, 48, would not be recognised as a marriage by Kiev.

    In December, Mr Furnish told the BBC that they were working to ensure Lev and his brother “have the best health care, education and family options available to them”.

  28. molly

    I love Elton so this just makes me smile. Old as he is, I’m sure he’ll be a great dad. Some of my friends’ parents were in their late 50s when they were born.. doesn’t make much of a difference.

  29. Sarah

    I read somewhere that that’s what the gays use to create diversions to rob plus-sized lingerie stores – a cloud of sequins.

  30. Ed

    The story has no gender, baby name, or who’s man chowder was used. Is that all a big secret?

  31. The girl with the green glasses has to be the ugliest surrogate mother I have ever seen.

  32. wim


  33. Meh

    Looks like green lantern cosplay

  34. Jake

    The birth was artificial insemination into Elton’s large intestine by his long-time proctologist and the baby was delivered anally. Other than a mild e-coli infection the baby, Elton Mom, and daddy are doing fine. Congrats!

Leave A Comment