Ellen to Christina Aguilera: Holy lactose, Batman!

February 20th, 2008 // 134 Comments

Ellen DeGeneres, like any red-blooded man, found herself awestruck by the mammary glands of Christina Aguilera. Christina stopped by Ellen’s show today, and Ellen asked the question that’s on everyone’s minds. People reports:

“You look great. One question: Are you nursing?”
A blushing Aguilera responded: “I guess it’s a little obvious,” and DeGeneres quipped back, “It’s going to be a healthy baby boy.”

But it wasn’t just tits and nipples. It was also about wangs. Notably balloons shaped like wangs as Christina divulged her horribly apropos choice of decorations for her son Max’s bris:

“We are not a very conservative couple,” she told DeGeneres. “For decorations we put up penis balloons all over the place. It was really fun, it was really great.” A stunned Ellen replied: ” “Really, they have penis balloons in a shop … you can just buy them?”

But then Ellen quickly realized her folly. She said the word “penis.” That mammoth-chested bitch tricked her! But before Ellen could react it was too late. She was transported back to her home dimesion – never to return. On that note, Ellen’s show will now be replaced by “The Christina Aguilera Boob Hour.” If you’ll excuse me, I need to set my TiVo and buy a whole lot of maple syrup. Uh, because I’m making waffles. Yeah, waffles

Photos: Splash News

  1. Sara

    She’s Hot!!!

  2. Did I leave my bat mobile in 1st spot?

  3. mamadough

    thank God she’s nursing, i’m ready for those puppies to erupt old faithful style…

  4. ..

    wow, those are some DD’s.
    But for some reason, they look fake.
    Had she gotten implants before getting pregnant? It really seems like it, hence the reason why her boobs look fake. They got bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding but the implants are still inside and make them look fake. Oh well, when she’s done breastfeeding, her boobs will go back to their original size.

  5. tits and nipples. Like shits and giggles? You funny long time Fish!

  6. I am surprised that Ellan could put two word together with those bad boys stairing her in the face..

  7. Juaquin Ingles

    Naked Sundays? Ugh…

  8. pointandlaugh

    OH MY GOD……..those are MAGNIFICENT

  9. Christina's baby

    Say what you will, my mom is…classy.

  10. Auntie Kryst

    With a name like Christine Aguilera, she’s obviously a Papist and since they are having a bris the dad is obviously heeb. Add to this they are both a couple of Hollywood weirdo fuckwads. Dear God that poor kid is going to be buried under the biggest guilt mountain ever. In the future whole college psychology textbooks are going to be written about their abominable progency.

  11. Jimbo–Those two bad boys—Batman and Robin?

  12. alex oz

    that mama is gettin better n better
    mmmmmm nice very nice

  13. McBeef







    them titties ain’t real.

  14. veroonica

    I’m suprised that diesel dyke wasn’t sobberin’ like a saint bernard over the last milkbone when she saw those fun bags.

  15. Quinn

    Penis balloons? That’s nothing. There’s this one party store here that has vadge balloons that are pretty tolerable 80% of the time, but then they start to leak air in a constant high-pitched whine while red ink dribbles out the bottom. I swear, it sounds like they’re saying “you’re NOT LISTENING to me!”

  16. @11 Cowgirl, Batman and Robin, Thelma and Louise, Gilligan and the Skipper, Amos and Andy, what ever you want to call them is fine with me..

  17. mamadough

    lol #15

  18. Christina, those “penis balloons” are called rubbers or condoms. You may want to look into trying them–you’ve already gotten knocked up once!

  19. The Laughing God

    Ellen sucked them dry in the after show.

  20. steve

    Ellen doesn’t know there are penis balloons because whenever she walks into the store they all instantly deflate.

  21. @18 Yeah, no glove no love..

  22. Janine

    Lactose plus lots of silicone!!!!!!!! Gross, I didn’t know that women with implants could breast feed. That just doesn’t seem right.

  23. That’s not what OJ said Jimbo.

  24. Nicole

    OJ said he just wanted to neck.

  25. caljenna66

    Ok, somebody kinda beat me to it, but I was in fact sitting here wondering if they weren’t actually condoms. Wouldn’t surprise me a bit…

  26. caljenna66

    and call me crazy, but Aguilera would have been a MUCH better choice to recreate the Marilyn photos…

  27. @25 I saw the clip of the Interview this morning on the news and she said they were big penis ballons. I am sure they are not hard to find in west hollywood..

  28. “big penis” balloons? Are you inflating the data there Jimbo? How “big” exactly are we talkin’?

  29. Barack

    Marilyn wasn’t a dirty spic.

  30. Cyndie

    Zac Efron would have been a better choice to recreate the Marilyn pics.

  31. mike

    cowgirl are you implying that Jimbo has a small penis, or that you have a cavernous vagina? Helloooooooooooooooooooooo

  32. Cowgirl. I have no idea how big she was talking about. I know this is going to get me into trouble on this site, but on a trip to Europe, I was was walking down the street in Amsterdam and there was a 4 foot blow up penis in the door.

  33. What the crap is a dimesion?

  34. What constitutes a big penis balloon? Is it a standard few inches or a foot long dog?

  35. A dimesion is a dime-sized lesion. I’m scratching one right now.

  36. mike

    Jimbo you measured??

  37. @35 I am sure you are you worthless troll..

  38. Alex

    “a standard few inches”

    cowgirl, time to do a little traveling, I think.

  39. Nevermind–you answered my question! 4 feet tall would constitute a big penis balloon!

  40. So the average penis length is 6.16 inches.
    The average girth is 4.84 inches.
    Yep! I’m a googler!

  41. Ok, the truth is, it was Thailand and the boy was only 4 feet tall, but trust me, it was all about penis.

  42. @39 Maybe you should get some for the store. I am sure that would increase business..

  43. morga


    I think you’re dead on, she would have been a much better choice for those pics than nasty LiLo.

  44. In my experience the typical penis is more like 7-8 inches. But I’m a gobbler, not a googler!

  45. FRIST, you stole my line..

  46. nipolian

    Today my fantasy is titty fucking Christina Aguilera then kicking Ellen D right in the nuts.

  47. Ted from LA

    Finally, I’m above average at something. In fact, I took my 12 kids to the county fair last summer. We were in line to see the prize bull. When it came time to go in, the carney said, $3.00 a piece. I did the math and said, “We’ll skip it.” To which he said, “Are these all your kids?” I told him yes and he said, “Just a minute. I’ll bring the bull out to meet you.” When the bull came out my 8 year-old son asked my wife what that big thing hanging between his legs was and and she said, “Oh, that, that’s nothing.” My son then came over and told me what Mrs. Ted from LA said, and I told him, “Your mother’s spoiled.”

    How cool is Ellen when her name comes up in this context and hardly and of the degenerates (pun intended) on this site make fun of her?

  48. deacon jones

    Man, was there ever more a reason to start jerking off tonight to the “Prego Porno” series or what????? Im leaving work, now

  49. Mdiz

    Dang, Thems is some huge tittays! I could quite possibly die trying to motorboat them mams, but in the name of science, i will try.

    (RIP M diz… You cocky bastard!)

  50. Ted from LA

    Advice: Don’t try to watch the video of the interview. I feel asleep 31 times before the two minute mark and I’m not even tired.

Leave A Comment