Ellen DeGeneres, like any red-blooded man, found herself awestruck by the mammary glands of Christina Aguilera. Christina stopped by Ellen’s show today, and Ellen asked the question that’s on everyone’s minds. People reports:
“You look great. One question: Are you nursing?”
A blushing Aguilera responded: “I guess it’s a little obvious,” and DeGeneres quipped back, “It’s going to be a healthy baby boy.”
But it wasn’t just tits and nipples. It was also about wangs. Notably balloons shaped like wangs as Christina divulged her horribly apropos choice of decorations for her son Max’s bris:
“We are not a very conservative couple,” she told DeGeneres. “For decorations we put up penis balloons all over the place. It was really fun, it was really great.” A stunned Ellen replied: ” “Really, they have penis balloons in a shop … you can just buy them?”
But then Ellen quickly realized her folly. She said the word “penis.” That mammoth-chested bitch tricked her! But before Ellen could react it was too late. She was transported back to her home dimesion – never to return. On that note, Ellen’s show will now be replaced by “The Christina Aguilera Boob Hour.” If you’ll excuse me, I need to set my TiVo and buy a whole lot of maple syrup. Uh, because I’m making waffles. Yeah, waffles…
Sara | February 20, 2008 at 4:40 pm
She’s Hot!!!
Cowgirl on high | February 20, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Did I leave my bat mobile in 1st spot?
mamadough | February 20, 2008 at 4:47 pm
thank God she’s nursing, i’m ready for those puppies to erupt old faithful style…
.. | February 20, 2008 at 4:47 pm
wow, those are some DD’s.
But for some reason, they look fake.
Had she gotten implants before getting pregnant? It really seems like it, hence the reason why her boobs look fake. They got bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding but the implants are still inside and make them look fake. Oh well, when she’s done breastfeeding, her boobs will go back to their original size.
Cowgirl gets it | February 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm
tits and nipples. Like shits and giggles? You funny long time Fish!
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I am surprised that Ellan could put two word together with those bad boys stairing her in the face..
Juaquin Ingles | February 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Naked Sundays? Ugh…
pointandlaugh | February 20, 2008 at 4:51 pm
OH MY GOD……..those are MAGNIFICENT
Christina's baby | February 20, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Say what you will, my mom is…classy.
Auntie Kryst | February 20, 2008 at 4:55 pm
With a name like Christine Aguilera, she’s obviously a Papist and since they are having a bris the dad is obviously heeb. Add to this they are both a couple of Hollywood weirdo fuckwads. Dear God that poor kid is going to be buried under the biggest guilt mountain ever. In the future whole college psychology textbooks are going to be written about their abominable progency.
Joker Cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Jimbo–Those two bad boys—Batman and Robin?
alex oz | February 20, 2008 at 5:01 pm
that mama is gettin better n better
mmmmmm nice very nice
McBeef | February 20, 2008 at 5:02 pm
T
R
A
N
N
Y
them titties ain’t real.
veroonica | February 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I’m suprised that diesel dyke wasn’t sobberin’ like a saint bernard over the last milkbone when she saw those fun bags.
Quinn | February 20, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Penis balloons? That’s nothing. There’s this one party store here that has vadge balloons that are pretty tolerable 80% of the time, but then they start to leak air in a constant high-pitched whine while red ink dribbles out the bottom. I swear, it sounds like they’re saying “you’re NOT LISTENING to me!”
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:08 pm
@11 Cowgirl, Batman and Robin, Thelma and Louise, Gilligan and the Skipper, Amos and Andy, what ever you want to call them is fine with me..
mamadough | February 20, 2008 at 5:09 pm
lol #15
smart ass cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Christina, those “penis balloons” are called rubbers or condoms. You may want to look into trying them–you’ve already gotten knocked up once!
The Laughing God | February 20, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Ellen sucked them dry in the after show.
steve | February 20, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Ellen doesn’t know there are penis balloons because whenever she walks into the store they all instantly deflate.
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:16 pm
@18 Yeah, no glove no love..
Janine | February 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Lactose plus lots of silicone!!!!!!!! Gross, I didn’t know that women with implants could breast feed. That just doesn’t seem right.
cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:21 pm
That’s not what OJ said Jimbo.
Nicole | February 20, 2008 at 5:24 pm
OJ said he just wanted to neck.
caljenna66 | February 20, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Ok, somebody kinda beat me to it, but I was in fact sitting here wondering if they weren’t actually condoms. Wouldn’t surprise me a bit…
caljenna66 | February 20, 2008 at 5:29 pm
and call me crazy, but Aguilera would have been a MUCH better choice to recreate the Marilyn photos…
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:32 pm
@25 I saw the clip of the Interview this morning on the news and she said they were big penis ballons. I am sure they are not hard to find in west hollywood..
cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:34 pm
“big penis” balloons? Are you inflating the data there Jimbo? How “big” exactly are we talkin’?
Barack | February 20, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Marilyn wasn’t a dirty spic.
Cyndie | February 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Zac Efron would have been a better choice to recreate the Marilyn pics.
mike | February 20, 2008 at 5:37 pm
cowgirl are you implying that Jimbo has a small penis, or that you have a cavernous vagina? Helloooooooooooooooooooooo
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Cowgirl. I have no idea how big she was talking about. I know this is going to get me into trouble on this site, but on a trip to Europe, I was was walking down the street in Amsterdam and there was a 4 foot blow up penis in the door.
FRIST!!! | February 20, 2008 at 5:39 pm
What the crap is a dimesion?
cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm
What constitutes a big penis balloon? Is it a standard few inches or a foot long dog?
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:41 pm
A dimesion is a dime-sized lesion. I’m scratching one right now.
mike | February 20, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Jimbo you measured??
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:45 pm
@35 I am sure you are you worthless troll..
Alex | February 20, 2008 at 5:45 pm
“a standard few inches”
cowgirl, time to do a little traveling, I think.
West Side Cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Nevermind–you answered my question! 4 feet tall would constitute a big penis balloon!
Cowgirl | February 20, 2008 at 5:48 pm
So the average penis length is 6.16 inches.
The average girth is 4.84 inches.
Yep! I’m a googler!
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Ok, the truth is, it was Thailand and the boy was only 4 feet tall, but trust me, it was all about penis.
Jimbo | February 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm
@39 Maybe you should get some for the store. I am sure that would increase business..
morga | February 20, 2008 at 5:52 pm
@26
I think you’re dead on, she would have been a much better choice for those pics than nasty LiLo.
FRIST!!! | February 20, 2008 at 5:53 pm
In my experience the typical penis is more like 7-8 inches. But I’m a gobbler, not a googler!
Mike | February 20, 2008 at 5:55 pm
FRIST, you stole my line..
nipolian | February 20, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Today my fantasy is titty fucking Christina Aguilera then kicking Ellen D right in the nuts.
Ted from LA | February 20, 2008 at 5:59 pm
40,
Finally, I’m above average at something. In fact, I took my 12 kids to the county fair last summer. We were in line to see the prize bull. When it came time to go in, the carney said, $3.00 a piece. I did the math and said, “We’ll skip it.” To which he said, “Are these all your kids?” I told him yes and he said, “Just a minute. I’ll bring the bull out to meet you.” When the bull came out my 8 year-old son asked my wife what that big thing hanging between his legs was and and she said, “Oh, that, that’s nothing.” My son then came over and told me what Mrs. Ted from LA said, and I told him, “Your mother’s spoiled.”
How cool is Ellen when her name comes up in this context and hardly and of the degenerates (pun intended) on this site make fun of her?
deacon jones | February 20, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Man, was there ever more a reason to start jerking off tonight to the “Prego Porno” series or what????? Im leaving work, now
Mdiz | February 20, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Dang, Thems is some huge tittays! I could quite possibly die trying to motorboat them mams, but in the name of science, i will try.
(RIP M diz… You cocky bastard!)
Ted from LA | February 20, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Advice: Don’t try to watch the video of the interview. I feel asleep 31 times before the two minute mark and I’m not even tired.