Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi getting married while the gettin’s good

May 16th, 2008 // 211 Comments

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are taking immediate advantage of the California Supreme Court ruling that struck down the ban on gay marriage. The two plan to wed according to a spy for TMZ who was on the set for the latest episode of Ellen that will air today:

She surprised everyone and announced that she was going to tie the knot with longtime girlfriend, actress Portia de Rossi. Portia was in the crowd and after she made the announcement, the studio audience went wild, giving the two a huge standing O.

To some people, this news is a triumph for civil liberties. To others (*cough*thesouth*cough*), this is worse than 9/11. To me, however, this is just confusing. I mean, who makes the sandwiches? Do they flip a coin or something? I want to say Ellen is the “man,” but then again Portia looks like she could throw some elbows. But those elbows could do some wicked ironing. God, this is tough. Superficial Writer frustrated! Superficial Writer lie on floor of men’s room. Superficial Writer hash this thing out.

UPDATE: Superficial Writer caught Geekologie Writer no wash hands.

Photos: Splash News

  1. LadyJane

    no, ramasucksallammasdingdong, it’s simply that you’re retarded.

  2. ramalamadingdong

    you aren’t worth the effort, apache – aka whore.

  3. lola

    elle degeneras is a PIMP

  4. lola

    ellen degeneras is a PIMP

  5. The Office Whore

    ramalamafuckdong~ isn’t there some sort of abortion clinic you need to blow up??

  6. supportthepenis

    I admire lesbians…think about it. They get to pick out a new penis everyday. They can switch from 6 inch 9 inch black white purple vibrating clit stimulator anal plugging etc. If your are a straight female you get the same boring 5 1/2-6 inch penis everyday doing his same “special/not so special move”……..though my g/f tells me the balls slapping against her and the semen inside is irreplaceable….thank god otherwise all us guys would be fucked.

    ps. lesbians and gays should have the same opportunity to be miserable like everyone else. And to experience the only outcome to lose half their stuff and kids just like everyone else. MMMM marriage is so sacred.

  7. jack

    Fucking liberals don’t want us to have nothing. No army, no morals….they’d have our troops skipping across the beach in their jockey shorts, trying to catch terrorists and bombs with butterfly nets…

  8. ApacheRose

    Wow, Mr. DONG, you seem to have a special hatred for me. I’m honored.

  9. Maelstrom

    #85. I concede that as well. We don’t make laws that one must disrupt nature. This could be a start. However, since you seem to be a teacher…I would suggest visiting with your local history professor and finding which and how many civilizations have succesfully adopted legal leniency toward the gay community. Also asked which failed based on part of this leniency.
    And to piss the rest of the people here off. Isn’t it funny that the 10 most successfull, most technically advanced civilizations of all time are white and the 10 least successfull and advanded are black? You don’t have to vote McCain or Clinton…just don’t vote Obama (whose real name is Barry but he changed it in his 20′s to get a more sympathetic following)

  10. The Office Whore

    Ramalamadingdongs Church Of Self Thinkers and Own Minds That Think Stuff On Their Own And Other Things of That Nature.

  11. And I’m raising two children in this world………Scary huh?

  12. And I’m raising two children in this world………Scary huh?

  13. ApacheRose

    Some of us can entertain the idea of a strong military without screeching about how “immoral” gay marriage is. Believe it or not, they’re not mutually exclusive. We don’t all fall neatly into “liberals” and “conservatives” views on every point. Some of us can pick and choose what we’ll agree and disagree with. Pretty fuckin’ cool, huh?

  14. ApacheRose

    Some of us can entertain the idea of a strong military without screeching about how “immoral” gay marriage is. Believe it or not, they’re not mutually exclusive. We don’t all fall neatly into “liberal” and “conservative” views on every point. Some of us can pick and choose what we’ll agree and disagree with. Pretty fuckin’ cool, huh?

  15. Dixie


    He can only come in me if he wears a condom. I am not going on the pill for his convenience because of all the negative side effects like cervical cancer.

  16. Maelstrom

    And because I am off to enjoy my weekend….Dennis Leary says it best…and I quote. “I really am an asshole, and proud of it”

    and good one jack (#108). isn’t that the truth of it

  17. The Office Whore

    Fucking liberals don’t want us to have nothing


    wait. You were TRYING to be funny, right? hhhhhhhhahahahaha!! good one, good one!!

  18. ApacheRose

    Whoops. Sorry for the double-post.

    ~The Whore

  19. jrz

    So tell us, Mr. Dong, what is your stance on immigration?
    And “Shoot ‘em all an’ let God sortem out” is NOT an answer.

  20. ApacheRose

    Mr. Dong seems to have abandoned us. Guess he went to the Winehouse/Doherty thread to talk some sense into them. Good luck with that.

  21. Jrz

    Maybe Mr. Dong went home to one of his 9 teenaged wives……….

  22. fuck

    WTF? I used to come here for nasty and hilarious banter about celbretards, now all I get is POLITICAL FLAMEWARS?!? Get over yourselves, figure out something funny to say and post it. It’s called SUPERFICIAL, not POLITICAL OPINIONS 101.

  23. HottieHottie

    P.S. Same sex relationships occur in nature as does masturbation and it’s common and accepted in several religions. For a long time it was tolerated by the Catholic Church (Google Archbishop of Canterbury in 1102). Widespread disapproval and punishment only began during the Inquisition when – ding ding – EVERYTHING also turned out to be a sin. Saint Alread thought homosexuality was a form of divine love – and was supported by his superiors within the church. Oh and the church has always turned a blind eye towards same sex relationships and for centuries encouraged it as a way of ensuring their priests didn’t fuck women. So you know, put that in your pipe – or somewhere else – and smoke it.

  24. deacon jones

    I didnt know the Joker was fucking Ellen???

  25. jrz

    OKay, I have something funny to say……
    #123′s ass sucks canal water.

  26. funnyshit

    @108 HAHAHA I am a liberal but that made me laugh pretty hard.

  27. Kennedy


    When US left Vietnam after 50,000 Americans were killed, the communist did not take over America. If US leaves Iraq then the terrorist are not going to take over the US. They will have civil wars, eventually get tired of killing each other and try to work something out like in Lebanon when the military pulled out. War is a great way to make the elite Republicans richer. The US pays 12 million dollars a month to maintain the war in Iraq making the elite Republicans very rich while 4000+ middle class Americans have already been killed. The Republicans are doing a great job of fooling ignorant people like you about the war in Iraq and terrorist. I work in defense and if voting Democrat means ending the war and losing my job then it’s fine with me. US has the best defense in the world. I have a better probablity of getting killed by some irate driver on the freeway than a couple of terrorist making their way into the US to kill me.

    Vote Democrat!

  28. gay4girls

    @110 That was a little scary. My history professor informs me that, although there was plenty of same-sex going on throughout history, that the concept of gay or homosexual as we know it now has only existed since the late 1800′s. Therefore there are probably very few instances of successful empires that were “gay-tolerant.” However, one might point out that Greece under Alexander and Rome did alright with a cultural norm that not only was tolerant of but also explicitly promotive of same-sex relations (it was good for the army). Nowadays I guess you could say that Europe is doing okay (well, better than us if the Euro vs. dollar problem indicates anything) and they’re for the most part pretty tolerant of that stuff. I’m not going to respond to that black/white stuff because that would take forever. Good day.

  29. Remember I’ve warned you:
    D O N O T M A R R Y !!

  30. Ted from LA

    I haven’t read any posts, but are people in 2008 still against gay marriage? Who gives a shit who marries whom? I have far better things about which to worry. I have no problem with Ellen. Never have. Now Britt being preggers… that’s a different story.

  31. HottieHottie


    Good point. Let’s not forget Japanese sumari (manly enough for yah?) and ancient Celtic warriors. Hans Christian Anderson was gay and without him, we wouldn’t have The Little Mermaid. Let’s all pause and contemplate that horror for a minute. Shudder.

  32. Dixie #116 is a dumb bitch

    Dixie #116 — You can’t get cervical cancer from your boyfriend’s semen. You get it by being a whore and fucking too many guys. Eventually, as with any other STD, you’ll hook up with an infected partner and catch it yourself. NEWS FLASH: If you don’t act like a whore, you won’t catch STDs.

  33. Gaylord

    Im just gay to piss you off!

  34. #131 – I agree with Ted from LA. At least I can whack of to pregnant Brit.

  35. Hot Dog with a head on it

    Any comments that start with “My history proffessor informs me…..” are automatically dicarded and considered complete horse shit.
    When your mom finds out your posting that crap from her computer she is going slap you and take her car keys back….

  36. Yuppers

    Not that anyone is going to be reading comments down this far… But for anyone who gives me the “it’s unnatural” argument – Puh-Lease! Look it up. There are hundreds of animals species that engage in homosexual behavior. And even *gasp* homosexual pairs that raise families. Oh no! They will be the downfall of the entire animal kingdom! …

  37. friendlyfires

    Please let this happen! Inside of eighteen months, Portia will sue DeGeneres for divorce and take her to the cleaners. Ann Heche will scratch her head and go,”Now why didn’t I think of that? Oh well, these McFries ain’t gonna’ themselves …ORDER UP!”

  38. heather

    @133-Thank you!

  39. Dixie

    #133 can not describe what he feels properly so he has to rely on profanity because he is ignorant.

    You misunderstood what I wrote you ignorant man; the pill can give you cervical cancer silly man and not semen. If a woman does not act like a whore but the man does then the woman can still get STDs such as cervical cancer.

  40. gay4girls

    Hey 136, it was sarcasm, you flaming ball of douche (context from the post I was replying to). And I’m posting from your mother’s computer and I admit that it’s hard to concentrate because her teeth keep scraping my balls because the German Shepherd at the other end keeps getting a little excited and bucking too hard.

  41. jacy

    Actually, the pill is suppose to help PREVENT cancer.

  42. Martyr

    Ellen 50, Portia 35. Won’t last.

  43. gay4girls

    Actually I take it all back. You said “dicarded” which sounds like “dick-harded” which is fucking awesome (I thought you said “discarded” which is pretty lame-mea culpa for not reading closely). I agree that everything I say should, nay must, be dick-harded.

  44. Superevil

    Middle school must be out cause this is some of the worst trolling I’ve ever seen.

    Keep this in mind. Liberals ALWAYS get their way in the long run.

  45. Hot Dog with a head on it

    No, I take that back.
    Your dad will be really pissed when he finds out your fucking his dog also.
    Just damn.
    mea culpa proffessor.

  46. Slim

    Wow. A “spy” from Warner Bros owned TMZ got the scoop on something happening on Warner Bros owned The Ellen Degeneres Show? That’s one sleuthy spy expert!

  47. Dr Joyce Brothes


    Google “the pill cancer” and you will find information about the pill causing breast and cervical cancer.

  48. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Di Rossi is smokin’. I only have one question. Who wears the strap on in this marriage?

  49. jacy

    It just depends on where you look. I am on the pill, and the papers that came with it says that it actually helps prevent it. Don’t believe everything you read on Google.

  50. jrz

    ya’ll need to go play some boonshine and shut the fuck up

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