Ellen DeGeneres & Portia de Rossi lesbian wed

August 17th, 2008 // 79 Comments

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi made good on their promise to immediately wed once the ban against gay marriage was deemed unconstitutional in California. Somewhere, John McCain just went “Huh? What? I want tapioca.” People reports:

“Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi were married tonight in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles,” their spokesperson tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Congratulations to Ellen and Portia. I’m a firm believer that everyone, whether you’re born gay, straight or, in my first wife’s case: porpoise, should have the right to make the most retarded decision of your life. I mean, seriously, I still don’t know how she got to keep the house. I should’ve gone for a prenup, but like any man in my shoes, I couldn’t keep my mind off the blowhole. Ultimately, it’s what drove us apart at the end. And, okay, maybe the harpoon gun.


  1. joey joejoe

    man i’d like to give Portia some dick, she ain’t no carpet muncher, she been bought.

  2. joey joejoe

    first and second btw

  3. Melissa


  4. joey joejoe

    haha learn to spell looser.

  5. melissa

    thwarted by creepy Joey.

  6. there’s one wedding night that i hope wont be released as a sex tape.

    ellen and portia getting married just proves that 2 lesbos are NOT the fantasy of ever straight man always.

  7. joey joejoe

    thats alright melissa, i’ll still bang you like a bass drum babe

  8. Matthew

    …and Baby Jesus weeps silently…

  9. EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeewwww


  10. havoc



  11. boo

    joey, joejoe, it’s spelled “loser”. Moron.

  12. ph7

    Portia is smoking hot. But it looks like she went for the cushy life….if she’s gay, she could do much better than this sugar momma.

  13. isitin

    I just got disgusted thinking of Portia going down on Ellen, Yuck!!!!!!!!!!

  14. I wonder if they had fish at the reception..?


    Woo… my sides…

  15. rough daddy

    Has helen ever been funny? and whats with the dancing.

  16. toolboy

    fishmongers use lemon juice to kill the smell of fish on their hands. Do you think Portia squirts lemon juice on her tongue?

  17. devilsrain

    Lol, Toolboy….Its not the tongue she puts the lemon juice on……

  18. Deacon Jones

    “Sweep the leg!”

  19. joey joejoe


    congratulations u won at the internet.

  20. Diana

    Oh, man-you guys are sick. Funny, but sick. (O:

  21. LaughingGas

    On a related topic, Arrested development is the greatest comedy ever, no?

  22. Let’s celebrate some “LEGALLY LICKING”, girls!!

  23. ramalamadingdong

    this just proves that california is the most fucked up place on the planet. YOU are the reason that this world is going to hell in a little shite handbasket. it is a disgrace that these two people are getting married. fucking disgusting. i hate gay people.

  24. Barak Obama

    #23, that is why I moved my family out of California. I lived there my whole life until this past March. Freaking illegals, homo’s and liberals can have the place. The fudge packers in the CA senate are trying to pass Harvy Milk Day. Some homo who died of AIDs and they want to make a martyr out of him and make it a special day in the CA school system. No Thanks!

    p.s. look up SB777 and see what it is doing to your kids out there.

  25. mark

    Good news. Congrats!!!I like Ellen’ show. I learned this news at Richromances.com where many Hollywood celebrities and wealthy people are looking and talking. It’s a really a good news for her fans

  26. Brutor

    Ugly but wealthy and/or powerful person in entertainment industry weds trophy wife. Tune in tonight for Josephine’s report on this strange phenomenon. She also has an interview with Christina “I only have sex with black men” Aguilara and her wealthy producer husband, B’ttugly. News at 11.

  27. ramamanwithdingdongs

    I’m a hateful person unless you feed me….. I’d much rather eat than talk.

    Even my ears have cellulite.

  28. the truth

    The thought if Ellen naked makes me want to puke. Portia could do much better with a man or woman.

  29. ramalamadingdong

    barak – good for you for getting out of that shit hole. tool said it best. learn to swim. i’ll be the first to buy property on Arizona Bay.

    SB777 is a joke, by the way. i scoffed the whole way through reading that trash.

  30. ramamanwithdingdongs

    @29 I ‘scoffed’ through a box of twinkies. just make sure you don’t buy a boat unless you reinforce the bottom with kryptonite, tubby.

  31. ramalamadingdong

    i am 5’5″, 128lbs. i am certainly not tubby :)

  32. ramamanwithdingdongs

    That was not “per leg” advice porky. Lemme guess….. your favorite candy bar is a Chunky…. right?

  33. David

    “Barak”…Harvey Milk did not die of AIDS , he was ASSASSINATED…by someone much like you. Scary.

    Also, you spelled “Barack” wrong. You are truly a pathetic idiot.

  34. ramalamadingdong

    it’s funny how you think you are funny #32. and your name – hilarious!!

  35. missywissy

    Can’t we all just get along???

  36. Tregliam

    You people are unreal. Why shouldnt gay people be allowed to marry???Cause straight people set such a good exampole of it???

    It’s 2008…wake up all of you that commented that gay people are gross!
    Stop being soooo naive!!!!

  37. ramamanwithdingdongs

    Acually cupcake (by the baker’s dozen no doubt), the funny thing is reading you and Barely Stern constantly spew racist vitriol without any thought of humor or accuracy. Your attempts to be intelligent are what’s funny. Also, that “swooshing” sound that your inner thighs make when you walk with jeans jeans on is funny. I think most people here don’t give a rat’s ass at the silly stereotypes, it’s the whole bit where you try to hijack every fucking thread with your moronic bullshit that’s gets tiring. At least TRY and be funny and I think people will stop caring that you have as much of a grasp on the “issues” as a fucking colander has a a pot of water. Actually, I do hope you breed so my kids can have someone to clean their toilets.

  38. Pat

    Portia used to be hot. It’s something about lesbianism itself – either they’re fug to begin with, or they become fug. No loss either way.

  39. Tregliam

    hahaha…actually your comment made me laugh. idiots like you who think everything is just hilarious is what gets me. I think its hilarious that people are denied rights??…and the fact that you dont know me but somwhow know that i wear jeans and i have big thighs??? is that supposed to make me mad???
    oh and btw, i have plenty of money so it looks like your kids will be cleaning MY toilets….bye for now

  40. Jay

    Marriage, the pre-divorce ceremony. I bet the prenup is a mile long. Good luck guys!!

  41. ramalamadingdong

    i’m not trying to be funny. i’m educating you, you fuck head. i don’t have to use big words and fancy metaphors to prove to you that i am smarter. so, this is my last comment to you, babe. you are not worth my energy.

  42. ramamanwithdingdongs

    @39 “oh and btw, i have plenty of money “…… (winkwinknudgenudge)

    tregliam, ramamanwithdingdongs…… to paraphrase Shakespeare, a turd by any other name still smells like shit.

  43. Tregliam

    still going i see….sad sad sad.

    bye bye

  44. Tregliam

    still going i see….you just said your not using big words or fancy metaphors but you’ll quote shakespeare?? lol! sad sad sad. im done with you.

    bye bye

  45. Barak Obama

    #33 David, thank you for stating the obvious that I did not spell with a “C”. I intentionaly left it out because I dont “C” why everyone thinks he is the new Mesiah. Get it “C”…Damn I crack myself up.

    After a little more research, harvy milk did get assasinated. Not because he was gay, because like all San Francisco poloticians, he was crooked. Thanks, but I don’t need the CA senate telling me how to raise my children. Or trying to tell me what is right and wrong. The Democrat / liberal senate didn’t even want to pass Jessica’s Law until we MADE them put it on the ballot.

  46. ramalamadingdong

    tregliam – you seem a bit confused. there is the real ramalamadingdong (that’s me) and then there is the fucktard trying to be like me – ramamanwithdingdongs. i wasn’t insulting you. the manwithdingdongs was. so mature.

  47. E

    Everyone grow up and stop fighting about unimportant shit.

    Two consenting adults in love getting married. It’s great. Period.

  48. ramamanwithdingdongs

    “i don’t have to use big words and fancy metaphors to prove to you that i am smarter”

    Translation: I’m eating, leave me alone

    @46 your not black are you? if you are i take it back an i think your a leech because i hate myself and i wish i had people, i mean AMINALS, to pick something for me, ANYTHING, even my pudgy nose.

    and i’m still hungry, which i blame on negroids eating up everything my texas pays for.

  49. Poon Tang

    Yay! This is wonderful! I feel like an a-hole, though, because the only reason this makes me so happy is because so many Christian uptight conservative fucktards will take it personally! :)

    Hooray for spitting in the face of the stupid Bible and the even more stupid people who think everyone should live their lives by it!


  50. biteme

    What is next, letting the coloureds use our washrooms? VOTE McCain!

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