Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi made good on their promise to immediately wed once the ban against gay marriage was deemed unconstitutional in California. Somewhere, John McCain just went “Huh? What? I want tapioca.” People reports:
“Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi were married tonight in an intimate ceremony at their home in Los Angeles,” their spokesperson tells PEOPLE exclusively.
Congratulations to Ellen and Portia. I’m a firm believer that everyone, whether you’re born gay, straight or, in my first wife’s case: porpoise, should have the right to make the most retarded decision of your life. I mean, seriously, I still don’t know how she got to keep the house. I should’ve gone for a prenup, but like any man in my shoes, I couldn’t keep my mind off the blowhole. Ultimately, it’s what drove us apart at the end. And, okay, maybe the harpoon gun.
joey joejoe | August 18, 2008 at 9:02 am
man i’d like to give Portia some dick, she ain’t no carpet muncher, she been bought.
joey joejoe | August 18, 2008 at 9:03 am
first and second btw
Melissa | August 18, 2008 at 9:03 am
FRIST!!
joey joejoe | August 18, 2008 at 9:04 am
haha learn to spell looser.
melissa | August 18, 2008 at 9:05 am
thwarted by creepy Joey.
oscar | August 18, 2008 at 9:07 am
there’s one wedding night that i hope wont be released as a sex tape.
ellen and portia getting married just proves that 2 lesbos are NOT the fantasy of ever straight man always.
joey joejoe | August 18, 2008 at 9:07 am
thats alright melissa, i’ll still bang you like a bass drum babe
Matthew | August 18, 2008 at 9:13 am
…and Baby Jesus weeps silently…
EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeewwww | August 18, 2008 at 9:22 am
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW lesbians!…
havoc | August 18, 2008 at 9:25 am
*yawn*
.
boo | August 18, 2008 at 9:31 am
joey, joejoe, it’s spelled “loser”. Moron.
ph7 | August 18, 2008 at 9:32 am
Portia is smoking hot. But it looks like she went for the cushy life….if she’s gay, she could do much better than this sugar momma.
isitin | August 18, 2008 at 9:33 am
I just got disgusted thinking of Portia going down on Ellen, Yuck!!!!!!!!!!
RichPort | August 18, 2008 at 9:37 am
I wonder if they had fish at the reception..?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Woo… my sides…
rough daddy | August 18, 2008 at 9:58 am
Has helen ever been funny? and whats with the dancing.
toolboy | August 18, 2008 at 10:03 am
fishmongers use lemon juice to kill the smell of fish on their hands. Do you think Portia squirts lemon juice on her tongue?
devilsrain | August 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
Lol, Toolboy….Its not the tongue she puts the lemon juice on……
Deacon Jones | August 18, 2008 at 10:22 am
“Sweep the leg!”
joey joejoe | August 18, 2008 at 10:27 am
@11
congratulations u won at the internet.
Diana | August 18, 2008 at 10:28 am
Oh, man-you guys are sick. Funny, but sick. (O:
LaughingGas | August 18, 2008 at 10:29 am
On a related topic, Arrested development is the greatest comedy ever, no?
gerard Vandenberg | August 18, 2008 at 10:37 am
Let’s celebrate some “LEGALLY LICKING”, girls!!
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 10:50 am
this just proves that california is the most fucked up place on the planet. YOU are the reason that this world is going to hell in a little shite handbasket. it is a disgrace that these two people are getting married. fucking disgusting. i hate gay people.
Barak Obama | August 18, 2008 at 10:57 am
#23, that is why I moved my family out of California. I lived there my whole life until this past March. Freaking illegals, homo’s and liberals can have the place. The fudge packers in the CA senate are trying to pass Harvy Milk Day. Some homo who died of AIDs and they want to make a martyr out of him and make it a special day in the CA school system. No Thanks!
p.s. look up SB777 and see what it is doing to your kids out there.
mark | August 18, 2008 at 10:59 am
Good news. Congrats!!!I like Ellen’ show. I learned this news at Richromances.com where many Hollywood celebrities and wealthy people are looking and talking. It’s a really a good news for her fans
Brutor | August 18, 2008 at 11:02 am
Ugly but wealthy and/or powerful person in entertainment industry weds trophy wife. Tune in tonight for Josephine’s report on this strange phenomenon. She also has an interview with Christina “I only have sex with black men” Aguilara and her wealthy producer husband, B’ttugly. News at 11.
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 11:06 am
I’m a hateful person unless you feed me….. I’d much rather eat than talk.
Even my ears have cellulite.
the truth | August 18, 2008 at 11:12 am
The thought if Ellen naked makes me want to puke. Portia could do much better with a man or woman.
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 11:14 am
barak – good for you for getting out of that shit hole. tool said it best. learn to swim. i’ll be the first to buy property on Arizona Bay.
SB777 is a joke, by the way. i scoffed the whole way through reading that trash.
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 11:30 am
@29 I ‘scoffed’ through a box of twinkies. just make sure you don’t buy a boat unless you reinforce the bottom with kryptonite, tubby.
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 11:43 am
i am 5’5″, 128lbs. i am certainly not tubby :)
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 11:56 am
That was not “per leg” advice porky. Lemme guess….. your favorite candy bar is a Chunky…. right?
David | August 18, 2008 at 11:59 am
“Barak”…Harvey Milk did not die of AIDS , he was ASSASSINATED…by someone much like you. Scary.
Also, you spelled “Barack” wrong. You are truly a pathetic idiot.
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 12:17 pm
it’s funny how you think you are funny #32. and your name – hilarious!!
missywissy | August 18, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Can’t we all just get along???
Tregliam | August 18, 2008 at 12:30 pm
You people are unreal. Why shouldnt gay people be allowed to marry???Cause straight people set such a good exampole of it???
It’s 2008…wake up all of you that commented that gay people are gross!
Stop being soooo naive!!!!
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Acually cupcake (by the baker’s dozen no doubt), the funny thing is reading you and Barely Stern constantly spew racist vitriol without any thought of humor or accuracy. Your attempts to be intelligent are what’s funny. Also, that “swooshing” sound that your inner thighs make when you walk with jeans jeans on is funny. I think most people here don’t give a rat’s ass at the silly stereotypes, it’s the whole bit where you try to hijack every fucking thread with your moronic bullshit that’s gets tiring. At least TRY and be funny and I think people will stop caring that you have as much of a grasp on the “issues” as a fucking colander has a a pot of water. Actually, I do hope you breed so my kids can have someone to clean their toilets.
Pat | August 18, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Portia used to be hot. It’s something about lesbianism itself – either they’re fug to begin with, or they become fug. No loss either way.
Tregliam | August 18, 2008 at 12:43 pm
hahaha…actually your comment made me laugh. idiots like you who think everything is just hilarious is what gets me. I think its hilarious that people are denied rights??…and the fact that you dont know me but somwhow know that i wear jeans and i have big thighs??? is that supposed to make me mad???
oh and btw, i have plenty of money so it looks like your kids will be cleaning MY toilets….bye for now
Jay | August 18, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Marriage, the pre-divorce ceremony. I bet the prenup is a mile long. Good luck guys!!
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 1:10 pm
i’m not trying to be funny. i’m educating you, you fuck head. i don’t have to use big words and fancy metaphors to prove to you that i am smarter. so, this is my last comment to you, babe. you are not worth my energy.
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 1:14 pm
@39 “oh and btw, i have plenty of money “…… (winkwinknudgenudge)
tregliam, ramamanwithdingdongs…… to paraphrase Shakespeare, a turd by any other name still smells like shit.
Tregliam | August 18, 2008 at 1:20 pm
still going i see….sad sad sad.
bye bye
Tregliam | August 18, 2008 at 1:21 pm
still going i see….you just said your not using big words or fancy metaphors but you’ll quote shakespeare?? lol! sad sad sad. im done with you.
bye bye
Barak Obama | August 18, 2008 at 1:24 pm
#33 David, thank you for stating the obvious that I did not spell with a “C”. I intentionaly left it out because I dont “C” why everyone thinks he is the new Mesiah. Get it “C”…Damn I crack myself up.
After a little more research, harvy milk did get assasinated. Not because he was gay, because like all San Francisco poloticians, he was crooked. Thanks, but I don’t need the CA senate telling me how to raise my children. Or trying to tell me what is right and wrong. The Democrat / liberal senate didn’t even want to pass Jessica’s Law until we MADE them put it on the ballot.
ramalamadingdong | August 18, 2008 at 1:26 pm
tregliam – you seem a bit confused. there is the real ramalamadingdong (that’s me) and then there is the fucktard trying to be like me – ramamanwithdingdongs. i wasn’t insulting you. the manwithdingdongs was. so mature.
E | August 18, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Everyone grow up and stop fighting about unimportant shit.
Two consenting adults in love getting married. It’s great. Period.
ramamanwithdingdongs | August 18, 2008 at 1:44 pm
“i don’t have to use big words and fancy metaphors to prove to you that i am smarter”
Translation: I’m eating, leave me alone
@46 your not black are you? if you are i take it back an i think your a leech because i hate myself and i wish i had people, i mean AMINALS, to pick something for me, ANYTHING, even my pudgy nose.
and i’m still hungry, which i blame on negroids eating up everything my texas pays for.
Poon Tang | August 18, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Yay! This is wonderful! I feel like an a-hole, though, because the only reason this makes me so happy is because so many Christian uptight conservative fucktards will take it personally! :)
Hooray for spitting in the face of the stupid Bible and the even more stupid people who think everyone should live their lives by it!
:)
biteme | August 18, 2008 at 2:28 pm
What is next, letting the coloureds use our washrooms? VOTE McCain!