Ellen DeGeneres is your new Paula Abdul

September 9th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Ellen DeGeneres has signed on to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol, according to People:

“DeGeneres will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi and offer her own unique perspective to the contestants throughout the competition,” Fox television says in a statement.
DeGeneres, 51, begins her stint after the audition rounds, which have featured a rotating group of celebrity guest judges including Shania Twain, Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Joe Jonas and Kristin Chenoweth.
“I’m going to have a day job and a night job,” DeGeneres said at her talk show taping Wedneday, assuring her audience that The Ellen DeGeneres Show will continue. “This is so exciting for me.”

Of course, this casting is perfect because if there’s one demographic American Idol was missing, it’s the key middle-aged lesbians who look like Owen Wilson audience. Now FOX can bring in those huge ad bucks from golf club manufacturers and turkey baster conglomerates. Well played.

Photos: WENN

  1. genius

    shouldnt they hire someone who is actually a musician or singer??

    oh wait its pure fucking garbage. nevermind

  2. nugs

    Bull Dykes forever… First!

  3. titsonsnack

    She’s far from a bulldyke.

  4. captain crunch

    dont you feel like a complete dumbfuck for saying “FIRST!” when you arent? or do you just feel that way all the time anyways? that makes more sense considering how awesome it must be to hang out on a blog site for bragging rights at getting the first comment

    go twitter something, you bad ass – update your “my little pony” status


  5. Taz

    what a complete fuck up that hire was!

  6. Rob

    How the fuck do you go from Paula Abdul to this dude?

  7. Tim Drake

    I don’t care what all the haters say; I honestly think Ellen is freakin’ hilarious and I would watch American Idol if she was on.

    And I’d rather be raped by a T Rex than watch American Idol.

  8. First time in a while that I’ve actually laughed at TS commentary. Well done.

  9. ha

    She’s funny. She did a great job on the Academy Awards a couple years ago. All of your homophobic shit is depressing.

  10. Ljutefisk


  11. Mr. Grumbles

    I, for one, welcome our new lesbian overlord- er… Idol judge.

  12. lainy

    I fucking love Ellen. So fuck you, Superfish.

  13. Great, just another dummy who won’t criticize bad singers. She’s just a kiss ass like Paula.

  14. Pinocchio

    Her nose is starting to look like a penis. Is that what happens when one is gay? I don’t know, but it is just weird, I mean she is gay and she has a penis for a nose… WTF!!!!

  15. IKE

    Who cares if she’s hilarious. For A LOT of these kids this is a serious thing. A life changing issue, not an opportunity for some half-wit diesel to try to make a funny crack.
    LOUSY choice!!! They should have kept Paula, but if a change had to be made, Quentin Tarantino seems like a more qualified choice than Ms. Degenerate.

    Ellen licks!!! (can’t say “sucks” cause she wouldn’t know what to do if she were ‘eye to eye’ with a woody. Eye to eye! lol!!!)

  16. Whatchamacalit

    Adding Ellen DeGeneres to the dying franchise of American Idol was a very smart fucking move on the producer’s behalf. I think this is a brilliant idea and will bring viewers a new personality the likes of which Paula could only attract when boinking metrosexual Idolers or getting high on Percocet.

  17. Kristen

    Ellen is way too cool for Idol. I love her. All of you saying bad things about her have probably never seen her show.

  18. jenna

    I don´t know how much music talent she has but she´s very funny and has such a warm and lovely personality that it will be a pleasure to see her on this show! I think it will be great :-)

  19. I’ve seen her show and she still is a carpet muncher, not funnty and not musical

  20. her drapes don’t match the hardwood

  21. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wtf. I used to love Ellen…

  22. Chipot

    You must be pretty easily entertained if you think Ellen is funny.

  23. guu

    she looks like robert redford

  24. Sam

    She’s a comedian! WTF does she know about music, to be judging people??

  25. cuby

    THE MESSAGE brother sent is not the comments , is lonely

    A place someone who can treat you as a king or who can

    spoil you like a queen, this is the great place. It’s dedicated

    for those sugar daddies ^^^^ Sugarloves.Com ^^^ who

    are rich and successful to support and pamper women who

    will treat you like a king and for sugar babies who are

    attractive and young to seek a generous benefactor to

    mentor and take care of you.

  26. Just open eyes to see positive points from she is….

  27. Heather

    It’s one uf the dumbest things I’ve heard of.
    Right up there with Ellen Degeneres hosting so you think you can dance.
    She has no musical background except for that one episode that she learnt SOMTHING from Kristen Chinowinth (The only reason I even watched).
    How embarrassing for her.

  28. ROUGH daddy

    Really? I don’t see it but what the hell do i know…

    It might work if they use some of the format from her talk show. She stock the audience with chicks, goes around bumping and grinding from selection of her DJ. I tell you its like going to pussy heaven for Helen. A straight guy wouldn’t even think of this….

  29. Jim Lahey

    This ugly piece of work is used in a covergirl commercial! So is the moon faced Drew Barrymore and Sarah “Horseface” Jessica Parker. Figure that out!!!!

    No knock on the country. I love America and Americans, but only in America, can this happen where the ugliest creatures are used to promote beauty products.

  30. techman

    They should have picked Marie Osmond. She would have been just like Paula making nice comments all the time. But sober.

  31. Brooke

    I love Ellen, but she has no musical background. Notice I didn’t say TALENT… we all know she’s probably better than Paula, haha.

    But seriously, WTF.

  32. Aunt Jemima

    Finally we get a man on there to balance out Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson.

  33. Dad

    Wow, Gary Busey is looking GREAT!

  34. havoc

    “the key middle-aged lesbians who look like Owen Wilson audience.”



  35. first…


    anyway, I like Ellen… she’s cool…

  36. hoqa

    Poster number 8.- I agree, this is the first time in a while Superficial has actually made me laugh out loud. The site is getting progressively less funny, methinks.

  37. hoqa

    Poster number 8.- I agree, this is the first time in a while Superficial has actually made me laugh out loud. The site is getting progressively less funny, methinks.

  38. nugs

    captain crunch likes little boys…

  39. homophallic

    At least the set of American Idol won’t have to worry about freak flash floods occurring. ‘Cuz Ellen is one powerful dyke.

    badump bump

  40. Mike

    Stupid, stupid, stupid. Worst decision ever! She has no musical or singing talent. She’s just going to do schtick. She was on So You Think You Can Dance and was horrible. She didn’t need to be there. American Idol has officially jumped the shark.

  41. Dread not

    That sound you just heard; that was, Annika Sörenstam screaming in delight from her native land of, Sweeeeeeee-den. The other sound; that, was, Jessica Biel pumping her fist at the news. Unfortunately, at least for, Justin Timberlake, she pumped it right through his face. * Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! * The cover story is, “it was done during foreplay.”

  42. Gando

    That’s a big surprise! Congrats!

  43. Galtacticus

    Does she have a singing background?! Or isn’t that necessarily?!

  44. LEB

    Hate on Ellen if you want, but the woman uses $100 bills for toilet paper, while YOU wouldn’t even soil a haypenny. Poor mortal.

  45. Notfunny

    I think my problem with this is that she has nothing to do with music, shes kind of like those awkward guest judges who don’t know what to say other than “you sound great”

  46. Bull-Dykealocious

    A judge of music? Same fucking thing if you go to court of law and in the robe w/gavel happens to be your neighbor’s kindergarden son. It’s already been a freak show w/Abdullue praising born-losers but if Mr. Ellen has as much expertise in music as I have in knowing how many interns old Clinton did, then this is NOT a fair shot for possible future music stars. The more queer you are and so forth…meets the requirements. Why not hire Elvis Presley? You all know, he’s still gettin’ fat on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

  47. awesome stuff! thanks for all the information.I love your site.

    her gay ass show with her horrible ratings.. someone must have felt sorry for the ugly bitch.
    oh god shes so ugly!
    more like ,, ellen DEGENERATE
    damn what a hit ass bitch hahahaha she looks like an old fuckin drugged out man hahahahaha
    what a piece of shit hahaha
    ok bye bitches

  49. Of course, this casting is perfect because if there’s one demographic American Idol was missing, it’s the key middle-aged lesbians who look like Owen Wilson audience. Now FOX can bring in those huge ad bucks from golf club

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