Ellen DeGeneres’ dog problem causes death threats

By: The Superficial / October 17, 2007
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First off, I had no idea other celebrities existed besides Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and anyone with a crazy set of fake tits. (Who the hell is Ellen DeGeneres? What is a dog?) Much like you, I’m frightened and confused. Maybe, after this post, will you just hold me? Thanks. FOX News has the details:

DeGeneres explained on her show that the Brussels Griffon terrier mix didn’t get along with her cats, so she gave it to her hairstylist’s family. The owners of Mutts and Moms claimed that DeGeneres violated the adoption agreement by not informing them that she was giving the dog away and removed Iggy from the hairstylist’s home Sunday. As a result of the publicity, Marina Batkis and Vanessa Chekroun received voice mail and e-mail threats of death and arson.

Apparently the adoption agency feel Ellen’s hairdresser’s family is unfit:

Fink said Moms and Mutts has a rule that families with children under 14 are not allowed to adopt small dogs.
“It’s for the protection of the dog,” he said

Man, it sounds like these adoption folks are in some hot water. They’re going to need some dirt on Ellen to dig their way out of this one. Dirt which I just so happen to have. Yep, for a small fee I could be enticed to hand over photos of Ellen eating a kitten. I’ve got them right here in my – oh, wait, my bad. It’s Owen Wilson at a pig roast. You can see how I got them confused, right? Because they’re both blonde and, you know, lesbians.