Ellen DeGeneres’ dog problem causes death threats

October 17th, 2007 // 71 Comments
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First off, I had no idea other celebrities existed besides Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and anyone with a crazy set of fake tits. (Who the hell is Ellen DeGeneres? What is a dog?) Much like you, I’m frightened and confused. Maybe, after this post, will you just hold me? Thanks. FOX News has the details:

DeGeneres explained on her show that the Brussels Griffon terrier mix didn’t get along with her cats, so she gave it to her hairstylist’s family. The owners of Mutts and Moms claimed that DeGeneres violated the adoption agreement by not informing them that she was giving the dog away and removed Iggy from the hairstylist’s home Sunday. As a result of the publicity, Marina Batkis and Vanessa Chekroun received voice mail and e-mail threats of death and arson.

Apparently the adoption agency feel Ellen’s hairdresser’s family is unfit:

Fink said Moms and Mutts has a rule that families with children under 14 are not allowed to adopt small dogs.
“It’s for the protection of the dog,” he said

Man, it sounds like these adoption folks are in some hot water. They’re going to need some dirt on Ellen to dig their way out of this one. Dirt which I just so happen to have. Yep, for a small fee I could be enticed to hand over photos of Ellen eating a kitten. I’ve got them right here in my – oh, wait, my bad. It’s Owen Wilson at a pig roast. You can see how I got them confused, right? Because they’re both blonde and, you know, lesbians.

superficial

  1. George Best

    A Dog of a post

  2. Jimbo

    FIRST assholes!

  3. Shallow Val

    I do not understand the story. Who’s dog is it? Why is s third party involved? WHAT, did she adopt a dog? If Ellen adopted a dog, then you should put it on the fucking post, because you left that out. K-monnnn, get on teh ball, wyncha?

  4. Shallow Val

    PS

    Ellen is the BEST!!!

  5. Hemlock Queen

    Fucking hippies!

  6. cashitin

    Looks like all that sour pussy she’s been munching on has puckered her face. BTW who is she bumping clams with these days?

  7. spy

    That Ellen is a good man.

  8. havoc

    When Lezbos Attack!

    LMAO!

    .

  9. theShizaan

    I wish these animal adoption/rights/lovers groups would spend more time helping humans…come on, a 14 yr old is not fit to have a small dog? What kind of crap is that.

  10. Val,
    She adopted the dog, then she couldn’t handle the dog and wanted to get rid of it. The adoption paperwork said no-returns.

    @6,
    Portia de Rossi is the lesbian’s partner.

  11. jrzmommy

    Sort of an ugly dog, but maybe a good hearted-owner would love it.

  12. veggi

    See, always with the changing mind, that Ellen. She’s more bi than lesbian.

  13. Vincce Lombardi

    Ellen used to be an offensive guard and kick-return specialist for my team, which is why I know this story:

    She adopted a dog (which in Hollywood means she paid more money than you and I would spend on a Lexus). She put the dog thru training to get along with her cats. Dog managed a D+ on its final, so Ellen gave the dog to her hairdresser, who has two kids. The kids love the dog. Adoption agency did a followup call to Ellen, asking how the delinquent was doing. She told them what she did, but it was in her adoption contract with them that if she felt the dog didn’t work out, she had to return it to them and only them. So they went to the hairdresser’s and stomped the living hell out of the children’s hearts by taking the dog back. Ellen made a public apology on her show to the two kids and said she didn’t read the fine print (she was a lineman – they can’t read anyway), so she didn’t know. She appealed to the adoption people to return the dog to the kids, who were on suicide watch. So there you have it.

    Stupid cats.

  14. Pancy

    Geez! Anybody can tell she’s a cat lesbian, not a dog lesbian.

  15. Hey Vince,
    My pussy’s are smart, not stupid.

  16. Hey TT, I heard a long time ago that Portia de Rossi and Ellen broke up. That sucks too, cause Portia de Rossi is hot and if I was a lesbo I’d do her.

    K, veggi, got the Wild Turkey msg. I’m with you on the count of 3.

  17. TS

    Jimbo, come on now. You’ve a seasoned veteran. You should know better than that.

  18. LL

    Well, Ellen and Owen Wilson do have similar haircuts, so the confusion is understandable.

  19. TS

    You know what I meant…

    What up FRIST!

  20. Ali

    hahaha I love Ellen though!!

  21. Age

    Inconceivable!

  22. TS That is true, but that was my troll and not me

  23. Ok, Hi TS, Hey Jimbo, I knew that wasn’t you. Not yer style. Ok, I’m going to have a problem today, people. You’re all computer geeks, so WHY IN THE FUCK do I have to sign in all my crap every single time I comment?!?!? It’s taking entirely too damn long to try to quickly slack off!!!!!

    Didn’t used to do that shit…

  24. J-Bone

    I saw the video clip where Ellen put on the ol’ waterworks to try and weasel her way out of a legal binding contract-no shame. But then again, I nearly got all mushy watching her ’cause even if she like tacos instead of hot dogs-I still think she is a cutie-pie.

  25. veggi

    wow! believe it or not, 12 wasn’t me either. it’s trollmania here. gotta just fucking love it, dumbfucks.

  26. tommy salami

    i have a feeling ellen will never give the pussy up……….. in both pets and life………………………………………

  27. Ok, don’t answer me then. I’m leaving. And I’m taking my ball…

  28. cashitin

    I wonder if Ellen has ever given some deepdickin a try.

  29. How exactly are they under hot water? She signed a contract and decided not to follow the rules.

  30. Danklin24

    These owners are assholes. Taking a dog away from a child, they should be ashamed of themselves. Also, what does being under 14 have to do with it? Thats an odd age limit to pull out of their asses. Do 12 year olds eat dogs or something? Now im not sure about this, but i think kids have these things called parents to make sure the dog is being treated well. I saw the girl that this dog was going to and she didnt look like a dog eater at all. When she said “i want my dog back:” she wasn’t licking blood dripping from her her lips while sharpening butcher knives.

  31. Danklin24

    #29, yeah fine, SHE broke the rules of the contract, punish her, not some child that wanted a dog.

  32. FRIST, come back with my balls.
    LOL
    I don’t know the answer FRIST, but something strange is happening in here.

  33. OK, new Britney post (thank God, I was having withdrawals)

  34. Bigheadmike

    Ok the main fact is…… Ellen broke the contract. She should make ammends with the kids not this great agency that is helping out animals.
    I love seeing Liberals bash liberals!!!

  35. Ellen did not sign the goddamn contract. Ellen’s partner, Portia de Rossi signed the contract. Yes, Ellen broke the contract, but there are thousands of unwanted pets. Mutts & Moms need to relax their standards and qualifications for adoption. 14 year old are having babies. 14 year olds and younger are carrying guns to school and shooting the place up. They could have learned compassion for all living beings if they had a pet from early childhood. Ellen did what all of us in unwanted animal rescue have done over and over. She rehomed a pet to a great home. The kids are obviously responsible. The hairdresser’s family should have been allowed to apply for the dog and been interviewed by the Mutts & Moms nutjobs and they could have left Iggy with them and moved on to finding a great home for the next pet. Legally, Ellen and Portia breached a contract. Morally and ethically, they are wonderful humanitarians. Thumbs down to this Mutts & Moms dumbass operation. The bitches needs to get back on their meds.

  36. Why are they called “Mommy’s & Mutts” if they clearly discriminate against children owning pets.Who better, than children to own pets? One of the best things of childhood!!! What kind of “so Called” Mommys who inflict so much damage by taking their beloved dog away??? Shame on them!!! I hope a discrimination Attorney takes this up Pro Bono!!! They are clearly punishing the children, not Ellen.Isn’t the point to get the Dog a home where she/he is loved & wanted? They are clearly Priority Challenged!!!!

  37. Pablo

    What’s the big deal? “Terrier” dogs should all be put to death anyway. (Where’s Michael Vick when you need him?)

  38. cate

    This poor family gets their dog taken away, yet Britney still has hers….

    sad.

  39. Auntie Kryst

    Goddamn Hollywood, stupid shits! They even go so far to designate who is worthy to own a pet? Seriously, protection for the dog? Having and caring for a dog is one of the great joys of childhood. That is just plain arrogant and assholish of that agency.

    PS you know what dog spelled backward is right? That one is for you religious Britney fanfucktards out there…You’re most welcome.

  40. Italian Stallion

    Is that Queefer Sutherland?

  41. Doug from Pittsburgh

    Ellen only proved she was incapable of being a good pet owner by stating that she spent over 3000 dollars getting this dog trained. If you can’t train it yourself, you don’t deserve the pet. Just because you are a celeb does not mean you are exempt from rules. Rules are put in place to keep society in check, the moment you ask for an exemption Mike Vick will ask for one. Who gets to judge which one is worse is a single opinion not a majority.

  42. Trish

    @Doug: Oh, for pete’s sake… paying a professional dog trainer makes someone “undeserving” of a pet? That would be bad news to my friends who make their living as dog trainers, if it were true! By that logic, if you can’t teach your kids to drive but instead send them to an accredited driver training school, clearly you are a selfish idiot who shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce. Or… no, wait, did you send them to school at all? You slacker! Way to shirk your responsibilities there! LOL
    And cleaving to rules without recourse to human emotions or common sense is just a bad, bad idea. What about the individual circumstances of a case? Some people are unfit to keep a pet at any age. I would have thought a reputable pet adoption agency would be more concerned with the needs of the dog than the age of the children. “I was only following the rules” is just another way of saying “I refuse to use my own judgement” in a situation like this.

  43. Katy

    I’ll hold you. :)

  44. I’m a dog and I don’t care who I’m given to. You humans humanize us too much. If you want to adopt, adopt your own kind.

  45. Korean dude

    Get dog fry ‘em up whats the problem

  46. Mark

    This was hilarious – “Personally, after my much publicized relationship with Anne Heche, I decided that I would never again co-habitate with another that doesn’t love p***y as much as I do. This isn’t a one way street.”

    http://www.nationalsquib.com/html/ellen_degeneres.html

  47. justtheobvious

    WTF dude, you put a picture of Mick Jagger on this Ellen story! Way to run a website. When did Mick dye his hair blond anyway? That’s the real story here.

  48. The Who Gives A Fuck Monster

    OH those poor 11 and 12 year olds…waaa I’m sure Mommy Hair Dresser to the Stars can’t afford another oversized hamster.

    Thats not even a dog. Maybe thats why she was confused. She probably thought she was buying a rodent of some sort or maybe some sort of strange dildo toy.

  49. Dan

    Seriously, who, mentally sane, makes such a huge over such a small thing? I am embarassed that I even spent the time to make this post, because this is such a stupid thing to argue over. Four minute clip about our troops in Iraq and the people supplying them with food stealing money, and then 30 minute special about THIS CRAP? BOO HOO!

  50. jacknasty

    Ellen thinks just because she is famous the rules don’t apply!

    The rules are you cant adopt a dog and give it away,and small dogs cant go to families with kids. But Ellen cries on her show about it and people go ape shit.

    Totally side with Mutts and Moms!

    and why cant they just go to a humane society or breeder like normal people?

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