Ellen And Portia Want Kids

ellen_portia_thumb1.jpgThe aesthetically mismatched lesbian couple Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are considering becoming first-time parents. Ellen recently told People magazine that:

I think we should do it (have a child) soon… When I’m around babies, I just melt.”

Come on now, lesbians don’t have babies. Everyone knows that lesbians just sit around their apartments in thongs and garter belts, giving each other massages and showering together and having crazy lesbian sex. I base this, of course, on nothing but my massive collection of porn. But if “Drunken Dungeon Mistresses 5″ doesn’t tell you all you need to know, I don’t know what will.