Elizabeth Hurley is nautically hot, hearts Photoshop

April 22nd, 2008 // 98 Comments

Elizabeth Hurley is featured in the new ad campaign for Mango swimwear (above.) At 42, Liz is practically the hottest MILF this side of MILF Lake in the town of MILF-FORD. Of course, her secret is admitted use of digital wizardry and I couldn’t care less. Just keep doing those bikini shoots, Liz, even though you hate them more than dentistry, Madonna, and whatever else you English people hate. (The Welsh?) The Daily Mail reports:

“It’s unbearable and I bring it all on myself. I’ve got nobody else to blame.”
But, she revealed, she now relies on “nice photographers” and a little digital enhancement.
“I like a certain amount of retouching like anybody,” she admitted.

Okay, so Liz Hurley gets down with the Photoshop. As long as she keeps things believable, who cares? It’s not like Optimus Prime is coming out of her stomach which, wow, is probably the most erotic idea I’ve ever had in my life. Wait, what if she was also holding a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s holy crap I need some alone time. Uh, and now a word from our sponsors!

Thanks to Erin whose love of bikinis rivals that of my own – which is why she’s currently locked in my basement. You can say I’ve “buried” the competition. Ha, ha, I kid. She’s totally safe. I threw some moldy bread down there yesterday.

Photos: Daily Mail, Mort and Marcus

  1. Rick

    #38 – check out #13′s link, from THIS FUCKING SITE when it posted a Liz Hurley story the way THIS FUCKING SITE should:

    How does she look? Droopy, thickened, and crinkly. Like I said.

    You sound like a fat soft man-titted loser that tries to curry favor with chicks by tsk-tsking what real guys say. But you have a place in the world – chicks love rebound guys. Briefly. Until they recover, and want to be fucked by a real guy again.

  2. It looks like her hand is holding up her floating head. This is a strange pose, grabbing her hair. Or maybe it looks like they stuck her head on someone elses body.

  3. Angus

    Liz makes me so fucking hard!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’d love to fuck this old nasty cunt. She’s such a bitch, conceited for no reason. I’d make damn sure that I was thrusting my cock in her at an angle that really fucking hurt, pretending that I’m so into “our lovemaking” that I don’t hear her saying it hurts, and instead ram my cock in even harder, until she feels like something is ripping. Hopefully something IS ripping. Bitches like this deserve to end up lying in bed with tears in their eyes and blood running down their thighs.

  4. fatass

    she’s never had a great body, for a model…i dont see what the big deal is about her…her eyes and cheekbones are attractive but thats about it.

  5. literarycritic

    What is she doing, catching flies? Close your fucking mouth, please. Gross.

    @53: Angus, you sound like you have serious mental issues. I sincerely hope you’re in therapy. Maybe committed. Do they have computers in the psych ward?

  6. bippidy

    Honest to Christ, I really don’t get how the manufacturers figure this is a good thing. Every woman trying on these suits will compare herself to the fantasy Hurley and want to suicide in the dressing room. Since no one compares favorably to photoshop, she decides she looks hideous in the suit, and spends the money on more lipo and spanx instead.

  7. KK

    her face is busted in these pictures… she looks too serious, not sexy. Body is great!

  8. Fasc(ion)ist(a)

    Adrienne Curry is her doppleganger!!!!!!!

  9. Sbank

    So you’re saying photoshopped photos are okay now? They are NEVER okay. If Liz thinks she looks better than most anyone else her age then why does she have to cheat?

  10. Cindy

    I love to fart…weird I know, but I can not lie…I just love to fart! You know those really loud ones that make the dog lift his head up off his paws? Weird subject I know…but it is something I love. Now mind you I only do the loud ones at home with my family…in fact I come from a family of farters. Of course I will fart in the car with the family or if we are in the grocery store and there is no one else down the isle, then I will let her rip. I especially love doing this to embarrass my sons.

    Well now that I have laid the farting groundwork…let me tell you what happened at the office. I work in a small office with only 5 ladies. We all have our own individual office. We usually dont have much interaction with each other so we are left alone for most of the day. Well I had on a cute minskirt and a thong…..I looked around made sure no one was coming down the hall, leaned to the right and lifted my left butt cheek and let er rip…..OMG…..it just squirted all over my chair. Oh my, shit, what do I do…oh shit. I jump up, feel the back of my skirt, nothing there, how did it miss my skirt?? I run over grab the box of tissue and start cleaning up this mess that is actually dripping off my chair. Oh my god……shit….I have to quit this job, how embarrassing, maybe I can light this chair on fire, to hide this horrible shitty mess! I carefully, start wiping down the chair and then feel up my skirt to see if I need to remove my thong and throw the damn pair away. HOW the heck did I miss the skirt AND the thong??? OMG this must be my lucky day!!!! Hurry up,, clean up this mess, wipe the chair down, get some 409 from our little kitchen put all the crappy tissue in a bag, tie it up, hide it under the desk till I can sneak it out of the office!!. Shit is someone coming???? Oh my God, I grab the perfume out of my purse and start spraying the chair, spraying the air, spraying myself just for good measure. Oh my God….is someone coming?????

  11. Ted from LA

    That’s a lovely story. You should write childrens’ books.

  12. She’s alright..

  13. justifiable

    #62 Like we’re all dying to read “Everyone Sharts”.

  14. Ted from LA

    Now that my man has left for work and cannot see me type this let me tell you one dearie. I cut one a few months back while mopping the dark dank hallway in the miserable run down factory where I janitor. I did not even know it but I wet the back of my worn out green workpants. It was after a hard night of giving up the exit to my man’s friends (he loves to watch me take it raw – the little skipper!) and let me tell you it was all white and sticky with a sweet chocolate swirl and a cherry like clot of blood on top.
    I am creative!

  15. stakes

    my god who wants to see a 42 year old body. this is disgusting!

  16. stakes

    i think i would vomit if i had to have sex with her.

  17. iam24

    The point of not wanting to see a 40 year old is because their bodies are aged by gravity. This girl’s body looks better than 99% of the USA under 40, so everyone using the “old” comment is a fucking retard who is stuck on numbers. You probably sit at home measuring your hard-ons every night obsessed with your 4.2″ penis thinking if it can just get it to grow to 4.5″ I might be able to pull off a normal sized looking penis.

  18. Ted from LA

    I get it. It’s an anti-gay joke.

  19. Randal

    Oh my god, what a porker. Who wants to see droopy udders on a woman? Fattie, fat-fat this one. Throw her back and hope for a real woman under 85 pounds with A’s, B’s if you gotta spank it to moo-moo features.

  20. jaon

    She is hot. Just saw her sexy photos on a dating site called Wealthy Kiss.c o m where people are wealthy and they’re looking for companionship romance or love. Don’t know if it is her.

  21. JOE

    # 66 Fuck off ! Even in your sweetest dreams u can’t find a woman looking THAT HOT ! I bet you are still a veigin MR WUSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Ted from LA

    I am perched at my keyboard waiting for the blood to ascend from my hyperactive sphincter to my ingenious mind. I fill the world (well this tiny point in cyperspace) with flowers from the fields of my blossoming creativity. I am a man. Man. First from God the Almighty sent to spread His glory to the manifold listeners…rejoice!
    I am also looking for another new guy by the way.

  23. Motorboat… I can’t get the word “motorboat” out of my head…

  24. InternetToughGuy

    She smokes, so she fucks. What a bunch of idiots who say they don’t want to see women over 30. I am in my mid 20′s and I’ve stuck some 30+ and they fuck 10x better than girls my age. Let a 32 year old fry your banana before passing judgement.

  25. CS

    Is that the brainy chick from Saved By the Bell?

  26. CS

    Is that the brainy chick from Saved By the Bell?

  27. lisa

    OMG, she looks so hot. It seems that girl is dating online now. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site celeb mingle.com”" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site

  28. Fumus

    So freakin’ hot.

  29. I wonder………………………………………. WHO’S BODY IS THIS?

  30. deathstar

    Physically, she looks fine for 42 even in an unairbrushed state.

    Too bad there isn’t a Photoshop equivalent for correcting an ugly personality.

  31. absolute

    OMG, she looks so pretty. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h y R o m a n c e.com” last week. What kind of relationship is she looking for on that site? Just curious.

  32. Losers

    Are you guys gay? She is totally beautiful, Photoshop can only do so much. You have to have things to work with in the first place. Gorgeously hot woman who probably looks better than most younger woman, not including the photoshop. Get a reality check guys -_-

  33. mimi

    i seriously do not understand all these ppl that come on these sites and criticize ppl that look like hurley does…since i’m sure that about 95% of you, look worse at 25 than she does at 40.

    yea, these images are photoshopped, but she’s still a gorgeous woman and has a great figure. i’ve also seen pics of her at the beach, without the photosopping, and she still looks great, just more natural…more REAL.

    you all live in some sort of fantasy world.

  34. In my fantasy world, mimi long ago perished in a fiery car crash.

  35. hmmm

    Will the real Ted from LA please stand up?

  36. Realist

    Photoshop cannot make ugly people look good, dummies. It can only make good-looking people look hotter. And it ain’t exactly a secret. So, who cares. And most of the people saying they wouldn’t have sex with a 40 yr old would still cream themselves if they actually had a shot at Liz Hurley.

  37. stakes

    no joe you FO! you know i am right! shes so old and smelly. her pussy is all dried up and probably smells like fish! shes a rotten old bitch. my god shes 42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. stakes

    no joe you FO! you know i am right! shes so old and smelly. her pussy is all dried up and probably smells like fish! shes a rotten old bitch. she should be in the smithsonian! my god shes 42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. stakes

    no joe you FO! you know i am right! shes so old and smelly. her pussy is all dried up and probably smells like fish! shes a rotten old bitch. she should be in the smithsonian! my god shes 42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  40. stakes

    they shouldnt let people that old outside without a chaperone. jeez what if she fell and couldnt get up or something?

  41. Googlybits

    53 – You sound like a psycho rapist misogynist. Probably a disgusting old man who jerks off to women half his age.

  42. lisabeller

    Can’t believe she is 42! But the further news from others is she is dating a billionaire on M I L L I O N A I R E LOVER.C O M where the rich & celebrity gather!

  43. lisabeller

    Can’t believe she is 42! The further news from others is she is dating a billionaire on M I L L I O N A I R E LOVER.C O M where the rich & celebrity gather!

  44. Hotterthanyou

    Liz forgot that they need to airbrush her face! That ‘joker’ mouth & that bulbous nose of hers. Her face only looks good from the eyes up. Doesn’t matter how old she is.

  45. lisabellur

    Can’t believe she is 42! The further news from others is she is dating a douchebag on DOUCHEBAGS.COM where the douch & douchier gather!

  46. Marjorie Flores from Ishcombobbido

    Dum dum, English people don’t hate Madonna – The UK is her biggest, most reliable market – all but, like, 3 of her 50+ singles have reached the Top 10. And since moving there, she’s practically an adopted Brit!

  47. Andy

    Hugh Grant must have been a HOMO !!!!!!! to do what he did

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