Elisha Cuthbert starts the New Year in a bikini

January 2nd, 2008 // 58 Comments

Elisha Cuthbert decided to start her New Year in a bikini while hitting the beach in Miami yesterday. I may have said some mean things about Elisha in the past, but it’s 2008; time for a fresh start. If Elisha’s willing to meet me halfway by wearing a bikini, I’m willing to ogle her and think sexy thoughts. I suggested a similar approach to bring peace to the Middle East, but apparently those fat cats in Washington don’t accept proposals written in crayon on a Denny’s placemat. I hate politics.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily.com

  1. MassGrrl


  2. Auntie Kryst

    Not really a news story, but what the heck. Happy 2008 everyone.

  3. Sloan

    Wow, nice bod.

  4. JoBOO



  5. We need more of her and less of brittany. Shes hottt mmm

  6. nonews

    Fisheggs… u r an idiot.

  7. That’s a very pretty bikini.

    Nice, big nipples to suck on.

  8. I thought it was Pink until I noticed that I didn’t see a penis.

  9. wow Superfish, you’re easy.

  10. i hate bad posture

    girl, stand up straight!

  11. p0nk

    i’m suddenly feeling very patriotic.

  12. morga

    You can’t even tell it’s her w/ those ridiculous granny glasses.

  13. D. Richards (Father.)

    Cuthbert can eat my ass (…) anytime.

    If Elisha and myself were in a submersible, and the pod started to sink, I would don an assless wet-suit; Elisha would assume the position: The ‘sniff’. Elisha would be able to use the oxygen-from my ass-tunnel to power her brain long enough for us to make it back to safety.

    The Navy teaches the ‘sniff’ to all it’s sailors.

  14. Spazz

    Yumm. More pics of her and less of Brit’s skanky penis please.

  15. Conscience Found

    gossip is so wrong you people. sure her abs are toned and lean but it is wrong to drool over them and want to lick syrup off of them…

  16. Ript1&0

    I’ve always said sex isn’t hot enough until you can peel large chunks of sunburnt flesh off of each other.

  17. now thats a girl next door!

  18. secybitch

    Good body

  19. bangthegenius

    #8, you are hilarious!

    damn, who wouldn’t want to deposit DNA in that sperm bank? hott.

  20. veggi

    She used to be much hotter. I hope she gets raped soon.

  21. Vince Lombardi

    Geez, @13… you wasted your first post of the new year writing THAT?!

    I remember it was just after I died in 1970 that women started wearing those strapless monstrosities. I swear, the first time I saw one, I thought “Now, why is that woman wearing Jim Ringo’s jock around her boobs?” Y’see, in 1964 Ringo had the biggest balls in the world to come into my office with AN AGENT to negotiate his contract, so he got to negotiate with the Philadelphia Eagles instead. But I digress… this broad makes my “Lambeau” leap!

  22. Lowlands

    White,red,pinkish red and blue.This girl must be a real patriot lol.Happy new year Superficial!

  23. Sheva

    She has hit the comeback trail hard. She was falling apart and heading toward looking like a soccer mom and that’s pretty bad when you ain’t married and don’t have kids.

    She’s looking rocking and sport’in here so more power to her trainer.

    She looks in such great shape, I’m going to avoid mentioning the utterly retarded sun glasses built for a giant and refrain from any requests to punch her in the head.

    Still, going with one color would have been better.

  24. D. Richards (Flashdance.)

    #21? Vinny, that wasn’t my first entry of the new-year. Lastnight I typed an entry to thwart black trash from getting an upperhand. And you know what? It worked.

    P.S. How about you go back to spreading for the entire team? Maybe you can try and finally fit that hotty fullback’s fist up your flaccid pooper. Coach!

    You’re not allowed to communicate with me. Ever.

  25. jo j

    she is a cute babe…i am just curious she was said to have a personal account on a interracial dating club interracialloving.com with her hot pictures and blogs there.

  26. Please, throw away this bikini although the short is allright. The upper “set” must give support to your TITS. THERE MUST BE “SUPPORT”!! Otherwise TEA-BAGS appear.

  27. Sauron

    This creature looks good.She looks fit but it’s not over the edge.She looks human?Kudos!

  28. LooksLikeFun

    I like the way she looks in a bikini. I’d like it better if she didn’t mix and match her bikini pieces. Oh hell, won’t matter when she takes it off.

  29. D. Richards (frustrated homosexual)

    Man you really are coming out the closet accidentally or subconsciouslly (can dumbfucks have enough brain power to utilise these mental functions?)!!!
    Why would you want a woman to eat your ass? Why not suck your dick? Ohhhh, I see. Mama never taught her little “Tard” anything other than “Sweety, bend over and let Mommys lube your baby poopy up before she rams her hand in your hurty hole. there now that wasn’t too excruciatingly damaging this time was it now (not that Mommy could give a fuck less you inbred bitch)?

    Must really be a strain on the mind to have all those deep-seated repressions spilling over into daily life. How does a sperm-laden little fag like you ever hold a conversation with a normal human being when you are not sure to answer to the person in front of you or the haunting archetypes that leak out of the depths of your perpetual despair? Oh that one is easy. Noone ever talk to you. And so thus you pretend to talk to others when you come here.
    What you say here is important to us (to you).
    Write more Fag Stories please Little Richard, we can hardly contain ourselves (and no not like you this does not entail leaking mud from a stretched out anus)!!!!!

    Bye bye Bitch

  30. Donna


  31. Sandykat

    Ummm…the patriotic comments are misplaced. She’s Canadian.

  32. RENEE...

    I was about to say her body looks great, but then I got to that last shot of her ass…and I have to say, its not impressive; quite flat and unattractive. But otherwise, from the front her figure looks really good and natural (albeit not “Girl next door” days good). But she looks much better with longer hair. And judging from posted video clips, she seems like a real bitch; and I hate to compliment a real bitch. Oh well, kudos to working out Elisha.

  33. Ript1&0

    Damn DR, you are getting agro today, like more than usual. Everything ok daddy?

  34. Chauncey Gardner

    Hot cooze, hideous last name. When I hear it, I get a mental image of that giant, fat, white vampire farting in the first BLADE movie.

  35. D. Richards (Latent.)

    Yeah, Ript, I’m fine. Just a mondo-hater. It’s all good. How come you haven’t been as fucked as you normally are?

    #29 likes my ‘fag’ stories. I think I’m getting it’s ass moist.

  36. D. Richards (Chef.)

    Oh, yeah, and #29. I’m not interested in satisfying women. Blowing Dick is too happy-go lucky for my ‘dates’. I need to see tears. It has nothing to do with sexuality. No, honey. That’s why I force the lovers to eat my ass, so as to humiliate them for life. Rare please!

  37. Doc

    Talk about starting off the new year right…

  38. Stinkpig

    I liked her better as a girl (years ago) than as a boy (now).

  39. LL

    Damn, girl… she got it goin’ on…

    I’m not crazy about the suit, but that strapless thing looks better on her than anyone else I’ve ever seen. Not crazy about the hair, either. Whatever, everybody gets a shitty-looking haircut sometimes.

  40. D. Richards (I am his Ogre)

    Wow she-like manifestation, you sure got it going on! Desperate desire to hurt and humiliate, killing spree fantasies involving children, hating athletes and soldiers (this one is too easy), self agrandizing your own prose (if one can call scribling vulgarities such), creating hatred in others. Shit schmuk (sorry to borrow from the lexicon of the chosen), you da man, Yo!

    Now hurry up and die already, Bitch

  41. Ript1&0

    Oh right… yeah, I’ve been feeling kinda lovey lately. I’ve sweet on a guy, but I don’t think he’s really into me. Of course that’s never stopped me from making a fool of myself for him.. Sigh. This was way tmi from real life and such. I’d better go, I’m really incredibly busy trying not to feel sorry for myself.

  42. D. Richards (frustrated homosexual)

    Well darling, maybe you just aint got the looks he is into. I know the feeling. I always had to be the entertaining one, the contriver, the clown, the 10 shot to drink me up whore. Sigh I wanna say don’t let it get you down because, well, he is not attracted to you but as we all know, looks it 90% of the whole thing. I am not advising you to give up. Maybe radical plastic surgery is on the agenda? Ta ta sweets.
    Off to my plastic love doll (male of course, with xtra long dong)

  43. Ript1&0

    I’m sorry you had to try so hard and believe things like looks are 90% of relationships. I’ve never had to try.

    I only do so because I want to. But it’s not contrived. Not with me. Whatever comes out is genuine.

  44. jason

    i don’t think she is beautiful, but many friends from sugarmommymeet.com said she is good. for god sake i don’t know the reason, but i think they are reasonable for i know they are picky. you know it is a site where rich women can seek young cute men and men can find extramarital affairs….and they are beautiful and charming….

  45. D. Richards (Slug.)

    Hey, Ript, you know that wasn’t me in entry #42, right? I may be a fucking waste-of life; I may be a racist prick, but I am not as much of a bastard as #42 portrayed me as. Wait, are you christian, Ript? Kidding. Ha! I accept you.

    I have many fans. I can’t even begin to thank you all. From the bottom of my sphincter, thank you so much for caring! You really like me! You really.. like me! Splash.

  46. Dick Richards

    Oh, and Ript, please drop the new guy to his knees. He’ll never love you like I do. I’m your only one and I miss the good times that we used to have. Laughing at the homeless, praying to nuclear weapons, killing animals; I miss it all. Please come back to me. Please?!

    P.S. Relationships are the death of a person. Don’t give in to your ovaries. They’re sluts that’ll get you in to trouble.

    Sincerely, Dick.

  47. lambman

    Is she trying to look like Kirsten Dunst? and if so….why?

  48. Ript1&0

    Yeah DR, I knew it wasn’t you. It’s just a disgruntled ex employee, don’t worry, I can tell. She’s dismissable.

    And I’m not a Christian, but I would’ve forgiven you. (Awww… look at me, I’m open and vulnerable.)

    An incredibly intelligent guy once said to me, “Love is an extension of raw biology.” But what I feel right now has absolutely nothing to do with ovaries. It’s bypassing the ovaries. If he knew this feeling (or ever has known), he would understand how wrong that statement is.

    So yes, DR, sweetness. I will still be here with you. Goddamn it, I have to be able to get out my frustration somehow since I can’t do other things.

    What are we killing tomorrow? Squirrels? Just promise me that all the beavers get to live.

  49. Progeny of D. Williams (wimp)

    The only way I could have been an ex employee of that frustrated pervert would have been for me to have worked for him. The only job I would have performed for him would have been to charge him for plugging his nasty nether hole with dynamite – so he could finally feel something in this desolate world. Oh, and I quit after he/she/it…”Shit” couldn’t get enough and begged for a tactical anal nuke.
    Not Christian are you guys, eh? Ahhhhh Tulmudists …Hate the Goyim!!!!!
    Love is totally biological as are ALL thought processes and physiological sensations. Perpetuity of reproduction….global expansion of a specie. Nature has probably errored in producing dominant species before and well we know that there are feedback mechanisms that correct these extremes. Man has a big one coming soon when the hydrocarbons dissipate from his gluttony. D. Richards will get to see plenty of death and suffering then?
    Joy in sorrow! Erotica in perversion! Rape in love! Voila! Paradise is a desert!
    And YOUR God said to subdue the land (we should have listened to the serpent/ “God’s” brother Enki)! ALL is for profit you see! $$$$$$$$
    Alas, sans the fabric of civilization – the earth – weaving empty thought into…nothing.
    Pursue the earth into it’s end! Rejoice man is a slave unto other men Praise the Oligarchy! The money lenders have conquered all. Ha! Drink children of fools waste and poison. Climb the sticks into the grey sky and look through filthy clouds of your ancestors to the long wait for dissolution to claim what we had claimed as ours, property and value and asset.
    Yes I am sure dullards and queers like you laugh but that is all you do when life for you is a cruel joke.

  50. D. Richards (Whore.)

    #49? Don’t lie. I hired you to change my diapers.

    I must confess: not enough talcum.. Baby’s ass raw.

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