Here’s Elisha Cuthbert in Mexico over the weekend and let’s not beat around the bush here, someone’s put on a little weight. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to address it because it’s a sensitive subject that can lead to unhealthy body issues, but my penis wants you to know he knows he needs to drop a few pounds. It’s been a rough few weeks for him personally, but he’s ready to get back in shape and appreciates your concern. Now stare at the dough girl.
EDIT: These are Frank Frazetta drawings aren’t they? Now I’m embarrassed.