BEST OF 2014: Elisabetta Canalis Topless

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. Complete nonsense. And I’m going to put it on every single one of these. You won’t even care!

JULY

Elisabetta Canalis had sex with Steve-O, yet somehow many of you were able to overlook that and aggressively click on her topless breasts. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t both proud and deeply concerned about the decisions you’re making in real life. You know some venereal diseases last forever, right? I wasn’t making all those Paris Hilton posts for my health. Or yours if I’m being honest, but pretend SEO isn’t an elusive penis I try to fellate every second of every day…

Posted: 7.7.14

Original Post: Elisabetta Canalis Sunbathing Topless And Other News

Photos: Pacific Coast News