Elisabeth Hasselbeck should wrestle Ann Coulter in a vat of pudding – unless she hates America

May 7th, 2008 // 194 Comments

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one fourth of the clucking you hear when watching The View, decided to show off her sweet bikini-clad post-pregnant bod in the pages of Fitness Magazine. Elisabeth did a bunch of stuff like dieting, exercising and whatever else Republicans do to lose weight. Which I’ll assume includes throwing Bibles at poor people. I dunno, I’ve never been to a gym. Anyway, Rosie O’Donnell is probably ogling these pics and wishing she’d been a little nicer to Elisabeth. Or Rosie could just be eating her typical Wednesday snack that consists of those giant Brontosaurus ribs from the opening credits of The Flintstones. True story.

superficial

  1. Skip Smith

    Hey, do you people debate politics here because you are too stupid to do it at political websites?

  2. Lucy

    Her belly button (and stomach in general) creeps me out.

  3. I am not a Democrat I am a free thinker

    I have to go and will post more later as to the KKK. Never forget that Lincoln had said something to the effect “Of the two armies I face the one if the front (confederate army – the poor) and the one in the rear (antecedent to the KKK -the rich) I fear the one in the rear the most”.

    We cannot drill for any more oil it will despoil what is left of the world. Are any of you guys aware that our world is a poison shit hole? Tree dying bees dying mercury laden fish fish declining?

    NO we need wind and solar and electric cars and the hydrogen economy but I fear it may be too late. We will not have the E N E R G Y to make the transition. We are going to ride the oil economy until the Die Off kills off the poor losers.

    DEATH for the impoverished

  4. read #92

    All you retards need to read #92 and realize that whatever your political beliefs this hypocritical bitch is NOT to be respected. You can all agree that Hunchback is a fucking moron.

  5. Mos

    Women: if you’ve had a child and your belly-button looks like it’s erupting from your uterus, you are officially no longer attractive. Please stop tryng to be. It doesn’t matter how thin you are, you are just all sorts of nasty. Wear a 1 piece bathing suit and subject only your husband to the grossness of your post-birth belly button.

  6. deacon jones

    @98
    You fucking moron
    IF we drilled in ANWR, it would take 5 years before we hit peak production, and even at peak production, it would equate to 0.6% of the daily US consumption of gasoline.

    Im all for higher gas, fuck it, let them raise it to $200 a barrel, all the more initiative for industry to step up to the plate and start making real solutions.

  7. This is Truth

    Um, jackasses — there’s a pretty woman here. Why are we wasting time expounding upon your unfounded, simpleton political beliefs?

    Elizabeth Hasselbek is pretty. She’s not Hollywood beautiful, but she’s certainy not hard on the eyes.

  8. Shortened version of #92

    People need to know what an idiot Hunchback is.

    Hasselbeck once said on the View that she is totally pro the war in Iraq 9something she says every damn day), but added that she understands why mothers who lost their children in the war are against it and then finished her idiot blathering by admitting if she lost a child in Iraq she would be against the war too, but since that had happened she was comftorably pro the war.

    Just take a second to mull that concept over. She is one of the most selfish idiots on the planet. In that one statement she summed up exactly what is wrong with the world; people simply do not give a shit “until it happens to me”. She has no concept of empathy. In this life you can’t possibly experience every single type of situation needed to make you an open-minded, empathetic and caring person which is why we have morals and compassion, so that we can’t put ourselves in other people’s shoes and form opinions based on the greater good. When you hear that a mother has lost a child you take a fricking second to put yourself in their shoes, you have the decency and the humanity to truly think about what you believe and how it will affect others not just how it will affect you and your own precious inner circle. Nothing good would ever get done in this world if people continue to think like she does; only about themselves.

  9. This is Truth

    @#20

    Your comment is garbage. Thanks for sharing your idiotic nonsense.

  10. buttmunchkin

    SHE LOOKS LIKE CRAP ON A BUN. And her personality and views SUCK. Somehow, her body kinda grosses me out. She can kiss both my butt cheeks.

  11. Euugh, she totally has an outtie.

  12. Harry

    I think she’s as dumb as a pencil, but I have to admit that I got a woody looking at those pics.

    would love to see her making out with John McCain’s eldest daughter. Throw in Heidi Montag and Jessica Simpson and it’s a blonde bimbo summit.

  13. Okay, number 32 made me laugh out loud.

    Nice one!

    Still laughing…

  14. New Forms of Energy = New Jobs No Big Oil = Independence

    I know this is a sick idea and I apologize. We need to use only oil until it cost like $20 a gallon at the pump.

    Anh let’s dig up the Earth until it is raw for the same ole same ole technolgy, same ole engines. Nothing New under the sun other than the new rays of light. Let’s all stay in the dark when the oil runs out and we go back to coal and chop down the remaining trees for warmth and cooking and the surface of the planet simply boils.

    Vote Republican.

  15. Jim

    Like all Republican women, her pussy is dry as the desert, but somehow still stinks like rotting fish.

  16. dude

    lol fuck dat bitch i bet she likes teh cock

  17. denny green

    she can give me head…..

  18. Somuchsoap

    One look and I said “why does she look like she had a kid?” Then I read that she had a kid.

    She’s okay in a flabby stretched out kind of way.

  19. The White Urkle

    Mommy, why is daddy sucking that other man’s dick?

    Because honey, he is a liberal democrat pussy. That is how they get things done in their world. They suck each other off.

    I served my Country proudly in Iraq. Go fuck yourselves you pussy’s.

  20. Outie belly buttons scare me

    #120. Check Miss.Hunchbacks comments about American soldiers whove died in the war and see what you think of her. See #92 or #109 for the shortened version.

  21. barge

    she’s obviously had a tummy tuck, she should be on the cover of a surgery mag, not a fitness mag

  22. justifiable

    #108 Uh, how about because she’s got a midsection like G.I. Joe? So if that’s your definition of “pretty”, go ahead with your paratrooper fantasies about that kung-fu grip and don’t let us stop you.
    People hate her for the same reason they loathe Heidi Montag – she’s bone-stupid and annoying as shit. Hasselfuck revels in her smug sense of moral superiority – and she’s a complete and total tool.

  23. HuckyDucky

    #74, carlogo, “next time bring up something about global warming, douche”. Priceless!

  24. HuckyDucky

    #120 White Urkle, thanks for serving, I got your back. “Why is Daddy sucking that other man’s dick?” So wrong, but so fucking hilarious!

    What about the NC Gov the other day saying “She’s no pansy” about Hillary, and then getting flack about it…from the actual pansies!

  25. pensi

    I don’t like the shape of her pussy.

  26. Global Warming

    The Earth is 256.67194826408 years old. There was nothing before that. There is no way that us little cuddly critters could ever harm this big giant mean evil untamable wild planet. So go go go miners and soldiers and lumbermen – cut em all down by glory! This planet is ours and our God said so!
    Oh yeah…vote Republican!!!!!!

  27. justifiable

    #125 That’s because she’s tucking back her dick.

  28. Ted from LA

    #92,
    Best post in the history on this “site.” She is to political discourse what John McCain is to calling his wife a “cunt’ when she questioned the thickness of his hair. As a country we are completely fucked. Keep reading about the record high oil prices, record low dollar, record high gold, record high gas price. If you can’t name the two U.S. Senators from your state, but you know Britney’s kids names, you’re a MAJOR part of the problem.

  29. areles

    the comments re: her losing weight the healthy way make me lollerskate. the fact that she had a tummy tuck is quite obvious from her warped, repositioned navel.

  30. “Elisabeth did a bunch of stuff like dieting, exercising and whatever else Republicans do to lose weight. Which I’ll assume includes throwing Bibles at poor people.”

    What do you think Democrats do to lose weight? Furiously rub their clits and/or dickheads on a corner of Lenin’s mausoleum?!

  31. Eric Paulsen

    She’s gorgeous – but she reminds me of a confection my friend brought back from her trip to Russia. It had a delicious chocolate coating over what can only be described as a hard crispy wafer that tasted like an old cigar butt. Even though I licked all of the chocolate off I it was left with the rancid taste of the wafer for days.

    Not worth it folks.

  32. Marianne

    How am I the only one who finds her (extremely manly) complete lack of hips really creepy??
    And why are we talking about politics in a post about (ugly) ‘celebrity’ bikini shots?

  33. hmm

    why do most Republicans have beady rat-like eyes?
    oh that’s right, they have no soul.

    the scariest republican is Laura bush.
    She looks like the fucking JOKER from batman.

  34. scooby

    conservative (someone that dresses like this is conservative?), stupid (same as saying conservative), and HOT. my kinda girl.

  35. Booooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ahhh lng cmmnts, cnt undrstand all dat werds. She hawt, who is government? I’d bng her ass.

  36. White Urkle the poor little Republican

    You say you served your country proudly. I doubt that. You were probably scared to death. That is if you were anywhere near the killing and slaughter. I would have been scared as well. But not proud. You are prould AFTER you served so try to speak grammatically correct. Why do you Republicans speak in that white trash ebonics vernacular? Oh you are liars and can’t face the truth so since what you think is a distortion it diminishes you capacities for intelligent speech. OK. Gotcha.
    Most of us in this country consider the war in Iraq to be not only a sham based on outright lies, but also a terrible waste of treasury and it is throwing us terribly into debt.

    If you think we are pussys you are wrong. I would have no problem defending my country against an agressor but have trouble with attacking a country that did nothing to us. Why aren’t we in Saudi Arrabia? Oh YOUR gay president likes to hold hands and play kissy face with Saudis. Now I see.

    I would have no trouble going to war against the likes of YOU though. YOU idiots are the true enemy within. You are destroying this country based on nothing more than your ignorant animal instincts or primitive tribalism. Show us how proud you are and go attack Russia or China then get back with me.

    Pussy

  37. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    elective caesarian and tummy tuck
    more words – slim but lacking any sex appeal, funny that.

  38. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    elective caesarian and tummy tuck
    more words – slim but lacking any sex appeal, funny that.

  39. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    @137 – what you said about Iraq and your country and Republicans, Republicans are such an EMBARASSMENT to the US everywhere the world over, we laugh at and hate them.
    I would love to say its none of our business, but unfortunately it fucking is, because whatever regime you have is forced on the rest of the world, especially the British who always follow the American president like a fucking lapdog.

  40. my comment

    Political commentary on the Stupidfiicial?

    Stick to nipple jokes and bikinis, folks…

  41. Grunion

    MCCain called his wife a cunt to her face? that’s awesome. if he came by and called my ex a cunt he’d have my vote for eternity.

  42. Tommy Boy

    More proof that Republicans are just inherently better looking and sexier than Democrats.

    Republicans = Elizabeth Hasselback, Jessica Simpson, Bush twins, every anchorwoman on Fox News

    Democrats = Rosie O’Donnell, Janet Reno, Janeane Garrafalo, Chelsea Clinton

    Most liberal chicks I know are smelly and don’t shave their armpits and have poor hygeine in general. They are just nasty.

  43. JP

    #21 – You are a total tool and probably a terrorist. McCain doesn’t have “palsy”, you imbecile. His arms are atrophied because they were snapped like twigs when he was shot down over Vietnam and then when the Vietnamese refused him medical treatment during 6 long years of captivity. Of course, you probably don’t know this because you are likely a 22 year old, “hipster” doofus that thinks Barack Obama walks on water in spite of the fact that he has never passed a law, never sacrificed for his country, and basically done nothing except talk about “hope” for the last 5 years.

  44. JP

    The funny thing about the absurd “Republican” versus “Liberal” stereotype as it applies to women is that BY FAR Republican women are sluttier and hotter than Liberal women, and I’ve had plenty of both. Republican women are very much into “traditional” male/female roles and relationships and I have found to be very into feminine ideals, sexy dressing, being dirty in bed, etc. etc. Liberal women, on the other hand, in my experience have always been very concerned about not wanting to appear “too feminine”, not allowing men to “defile” them with anything other than straight sexual activity, and way too concerned with their equal status in the relationship (both in and out of the bedroom). Absolutely and without a doubt liberal women that I have known have been the most uptight and bitter women.

  45. yawn

    choosing the superficial as your forum of choice for political debate is quite amusing.

  46. Elsa

    she is so beautiful and sexy, but I also saw more beautiful and hot girl at http://www.kissmilitary.com.

  47. RAMALAMADINGDONG

    Shehan is an idiot. her son SIGNED UP for the fucking military voluntarily. these kids know getting into it that there could be a war and they could get shipped off. it was his job to go over to Iraq. he died fighting for our freedom and she should be proud of him. not camping out on the lawn bitching and moaning about the war. fuck that bitch.

    shut the hell up demmies. you are all a bunch of pussies who have never seen war in your entire life and never will. go hug a tree.

  48. Suprisingly, she’s got a nice MILFy figure. However, if I were her, I would sue the pants off of her plastic surgeon, since he obviously moved her asshole to her belly. It must suck to have to lay on the toilet to take a shit. Similarly, it must gross out anyone standing close by when she’s groundhoggin’ and wearing a cropped shirt.

  49. Karl Rove

    Yessssss, my work here is done. I now return to the Ninth Circle. MUWAHAHAHA!

  50. Tree Hugger

    hey nicely named “Dingdong” @148…
    I am not a pussy. I have great respect for our fighting men and women. They were sent via treason to fight for a lie. A grieving mother camped on the presidents front lawn and he was not man enough, not to mention he does not possess the virtues of a leader or even a sound businessman as we all know he was a failure and revelled in killing prisoners, even that converted murdereress against his Pope’s pleas. This immoral coward could not even take the time and by the way please tell me why he takes recess every day for 2 hours at the gym to “play”, he could not on his vacation and as we know he takes lots of vacation because he is not the real president Cheney is. No time to talk to a lady. Please answer me honestly. Please be fair. Wouldn’t you?

    Could YOU find it in your heart to go up to her and say “Your son died bravely in the service of his country. Though many do not agree with this war, he lived as a soldier and died as a man in uniform for the greater good of his country and his spirit will be cherished and commemorated for the duration of this country”. That was typing extemporaneously. It was easy for me. I could go on and on ad infinitum. And I am just a citizen. But that is what makes me different. I speak my heart and serve no interests other than my heart.

    Forget being a Republican or Democrat or Nazi or Neocon or Liberal Or Progressive or Libertarian and just be a human being. We are all of this world as are trees. They give us life and without them we will all die. Our children are of our family tree. We are all inherenly one.

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