Elin Woods has left the Tiger

December 7th, 2009 // 105 Comments

And The Tiger Woods Tumbling Whore Circus has taken its inevitable toll. Elin Nordegren Woods has moved out, according to RadarOnline:

Elin Nordegren had enough and moved out of the $2.6 million Windermere home, neighbors and other sources close to Tiger, told RadarOnline.com exclusively. Sources tell RadarOnline.com that Elin is living nearby in another house.

Of course, this could all be a misunderstanding and Elin Woods is simply at the neighbors’ house so she can get a good running start with the Hummer. You really need the right amount of speed launch it into a mansion and land on the sleeping body of a “bald whore-fucking golf-ass.”

Or, okay, she should could’ve seriously moved out. But personally, I prefer to think of Elin as a woman of poise, elegance and such unpredictable rage that you don’t even know what the fuck.

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Comments (105)

  1. Crusty | December 7, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    She’s mad and out on the market. If turnaround is fair play, where’s the sign-up sheet to have a go with her?

    Reply
  2. kingofbeer | December 7, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    shocker! /s

    Reply
  3. Parker | December 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    It’s about time. Call me Elin. Don’t worry, the offer for all anal all the time is still on the table. Bring me some Tiger money, honey. And some KY.

    Reply
  4. SATAN | December 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    did she really call him that? cuz he is indeed balding… hard.

    Reply
  5. Tiger Woods | December 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm

    I’m still worth $980 million after you leave with your $20 million, bitch.

    Reply
  6. Bridge Troll | December 7, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    She can stay with me in the basement at my parents house if she needs a place to crash.

    Reply
  7. spicy | December 7, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    good for her. shes way too hot for him.

    Reply
  8. Bridge Troll | December 7, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    She can stay with me in the basement at my parents house if she needs a place to crash.

    Reply
  9. Phil Morris | December 7, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    I think there is a lesson here……and a couple trends to be noticed here. First, she is a white woman married to a rich black man. She will receive little sympathy from whites because she IS married to a black man. She will receive little sympathy from blacks because…….she is a honkey white bitch married to a rich black athlete obviously mostly fo’ duh bling and duh money. I think this was entirely predictable. I’m just hope it won’t end up like another gorgeous white woman married to a morally destitute black athlete…….Nicole Brown Simpson.

    Reply
  10. Phil Mickelson | December 7, 2009 at 5:38 pm

    Sounds like after the 9th whore spoke up about banging Tiger, she told him “You’re out out of mulligans. I’m leaving.”

    Reply
  11. Turd da Third | December 7, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Now that the bitch is gone Tiger can have some real pussy at home.. Blowhan, Simpson and Spears need not apply…

    Reply
  12. Anonymous | December 7, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    This divorce settlement is going to be worse than Kobe Bryant’s. NEVER get married, guys. Keep your money. They aren’t worth it.

    Reply
  13. The Angry Thumb | December 7, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    I have an available room! She’d have to share it with me, but hell, it’s available!

    Reply
  14. Dan Montana | December 7, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    Hmmm weird usually the nigga moves!

    Reply
  15. Randall | December 7, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    God, she was a nanny when he met here. Let that be a lesson to him for marrying the help. Millionaires should only marry millionaires!

    Reply
  16. Mal Carne | December 7, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I have to say, pic #2 is pretty amazing.

    Reply
  17. Bonerman | December 7, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Guys, just stay in shape, and you will be able to bang as much pussy as you want, as long as you don’t get married. It helps to be wealthy too.

    Reply
  18. keh | December 7, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    new nike girl $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    Reply
  19. havoc | December 7, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    I would be happy to console her. And by console her I mean an anal creampie…..

    .

    Reply
  20. It's Me Fuckers | December 7, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    I personally think she has made the right decision. I don’t give a shit what other people say, he fucked around. Leave the bastard. He thinks he can buy people’s silence, well that is coming back and biting him in the ass. I feel people who fuck around on their spouses should be locked up in a room and fuckin gassed. If you had enough love and respect to marry them, have enough respect for them as a human being to leave before you fuck around.

    Reply
  21. Jibbly Biggins | December 7, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Good for her!

    What kind of guy fucks around with 6 different women behind his wife’s back, including when she’s pregnant and raising his children? Could have spread STDs, not to mention just how damn dishonest it is to do that to the mother of one’s kids.

    Reply
  22. abouttime | December 7, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    Finally one of these women grows a pair and leaves great example.

    Reply
  23. Rough's wood never sinned! | December 7, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    If they had a long courtship and it was’nt for the money, its possible for Tiger to charm her back, either with social skills (learned after years on the dating scene) or a hefty pay off rewritten in the pre-nup…Doesnt he know how utter one single word that would get Elin weak in the knees Reply

  24. Dank24 | December 7, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Jesus Fish, your typing is so bad you’re leaving out whole words. Read that sentence about launching a hummer again.

    Reply
  25. Chuck | December 7, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    I haven’t stopped to think about if this whole scenario was reversed from the get go…lets say it was Elin Woods who was sleeping around and Tiger was the one who went bobby brown on her ass before she crashed an escalade. I guarantee Tiger would be behind bars by now after a media frenzy 10x greater than what is going on right now. Black sports star+domestic violence+2 kids+blonde hair, blue eyed beauty=Elin on the View for an entire week and Tiger paying child support and alimony from prison. Double standard? Nooo…

    Reply
  26. Tim | December 7, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    kinda fat.

    Reply
  27. Taz | December 7, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    I’d make her very happy

    Reply
  28. Russian Kunt | December 7, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    God finally…there’s plenty of hot Nordic men out there that are MORE than endowed than that Black Asian of yours.

    Reply
  29. who dat | December 7, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    Why renegotiate the pre nup now. The damage has been done.

    Reply
  30. assman | December 7, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    Ouch Tiger. Ouch.

    Reply
  31. M | December 7, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    Oh, Tiger, way to go. Dibs on Elin! :D

    Reply
  32. Jakeypoo | December 7, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    When did Superfish get funny again? All the entries on the front page are laugh-out-loud hilarious. Who ever the new contributor is, pay him more.

    Reply
  33. WOW | December 7, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Yeah she was a freaking nanny…..Elin and Tiger could not have been having sex with each other with as many women on the side as Tiger was having sex with.

    Reply
  34. cc | December 7, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Me first M @31…you bastard.

    I figure the porn star was the last straw.

    She’d be a fool not to go. Seriously, she can easily find someone new with her looks…and $500 million or so.

    Too late to move your money offshore Tiger…you are a fucking moron. The King of the Fucking Morons actually. He makes every other fucking moron look like a calculus professor.

    Reply
  35. cc | December 7, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    “The Tiger Woods Tumbling Whore Circus”

    Possibly the funniest thing you’ve written…

    Reply
  36. Nameless | December 7, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    Wait! What?!? Why would she leave him? Is he cheating on her with another woman…or 9? LOL

    She is going to get paid and the man who will reap the most benefits is the dude she ends up with next.

    Reply
  37. Foreign Guy | December 7, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    I want a Swedish wife too :’(
    I got no millions, but I won’t cheat on her.

    Reply
  38. jte | December 7, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    maybe after having that God-awful whoring husband of hers – she’ll just throw up her hands and start “batting for the other team”?

    “Pssttt – hey Elin – baby (cocking my hand in the shape of a phone and pressing it to my ear) – ‘call me…’”

    “i will wear you out…”

    Reply
  39. kimk | December 7, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay :o)

    Reply
  40. M | December 7, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    @ 34 …I’m a bitch, not a bastard :)

    Reply
  41. Giggles | December 7, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Good for her. It has to be awful to have your personal pain become the subject of comedians’ jokes.

    Reply
  42. Jealous | December 7, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Tiger is living every man’s dream. Even Hugh Hefner is jealous of Tiger Woods.

    Reply
  43. laughing | December 7, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    How many strokes does it take Tiger to get it in the ho?

    Does Tiger prefer to play the lie in the rough or on the smooth green?

    Who cleans Tiger’s balls after he’s finished?

    Does he have any cute covers for his woodies?

    Reply
  44. Realist | December 7, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    She’s hot, but i’d cheat on her after 5 years too. Gotta get some strange now and then.

    Reply
  45. Sheva | December 7, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    Dig her even with the prenup. I can move in to her new house with the rugrats and she’ll do just fine with the child support payments. The limited prenup doesn’t matter. She got $5 million transferred to her account in the negotiation to up the prenup.

    But the last whores were maybe too much. Some of them were like versions of her, whorish versions but still that hit too close to Stockholm.

    Reply
  46. ada | December 7, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Here is a great place —— Cougarmatching.com —– It’s a premiere cougar dating community for older women seeking younger men and younger men seeking cougars. Come in, post a message, a picture of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You will find someone you like here…

    Reply
  47. Kobe's neck grip | December 7, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    Any unknown Tiger cubs out there getting ready to get sprung?

    Reply
  48. Nike Air Max 90 | December 7, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo

    Reply
  49. Nike Air Max 90 | December 7, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Fammi sapere come leggere questo articolo, un sacco di cose che prima non sapevo

    Reply
  50. Ljutefisk | December 7, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Tiger is the next OJ.

    Reply

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