Elin Woods is ’100%’ filing for divorce

December 17th, 2009 // 67 Comments

While Elin Woods packs up the kids to ditch Tiger for the holidays, presumably so he’ll leave whore DNA on the coffee table, sources say their divorce is “100 percent on.” ABC News reports:

According to Coyne, Nordegren is “shopping around” for a divorce attorney. People Magazine reported Nordegren would be going to Sweden soon to get out of the media glare.
“She’s not rushing to divorce, however,” the source told ABCNews.com. “She’s going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.”

At least Elin Woods understands this whore parade is nowhere near over. They haven’t even found the silo where Tiger’s storing all his love children. Mostly because it’s not a matter of where they are, but when. DUN DUN DUN DUN!

No really, he owns a time machine.

Photos: E! Online, Getty, Splash News
superficial

  1. ~sxy~

    WHAT IS WRONG W/ THAT KID? STRANGE LOOKING! LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY OR SOMETHING?

  2. lovetiger

    yeah that kid is not normal. shame, her mom is gorgeous

  3. It's Me Fuckers

    good for her! There isn’t enough money in the world for a woman to have to put up with that shit. One mistress they could work through but the number is up to 14!! Drop his ass before he gives you AIDS.

  4. who dat

    This will end up to be the most expensive pussy in history. Tiger will soon learn that many of the whores he likes to fuck will no longer do him. A large portion of the skank community will only fuck married men because they need the chaos in their life.They also realize the hush money will no longer work for them.

  5. I bet she’s taking her sweet time, I can only imagine how much more dirt will come out of this.

    She really WILL get her bajilion dollars.

  6. beejeez

    Yeah, because how could Elin ever have expected an idolized billionaire pro athlete away from home for months of every year to be unfaithful? What a shocker.

  7. killerabbit

    So…does that mean she’s available?

  8. the half-breed negro motherfucker is worth 1 billion dollars. He should be able to use elin’s spit as lube for ramming his uncovered dick up any whore’s ass

  9. Parker

    I’ll buttfuck her in her Ray-Bans if she wants.

  10. The Dude

    What about Elin attacking Tiger? The whores are great, but feminists around the globe should be calling out the beating Elin gave Tiger. Never OK for a women to hit a man, right? Oh, double standard – nm.

  11. Anglo person

    We all know this whole episode is exactly what this beauty queen has been waiting for. I would imagine the real reason she is mad is because of the anxiety of not knowing what kind of diseases the ape she married (for money of course, he’s hideous) may have given her.
    Let’s hope she goes back home and marries a true human rather than a missing link looking fuck. Her kids of course are horrid vestiges of her transgression and will be a haunting reminder of her laying under some sweating, ugly mother fucker.
    Poor girl.

  12. Tr8cthis

    Lets not get all oh boohoo for her. She only married him cuz he is Tiger Woods and was worth millions. I doubt before Tiger she was dating joe schmo from the local club who makes 30 k a year as a janitor. He was a nerdy kid in high-school and only recently had women throwing themselves all over him so he turned into a kid in a candy store. Still wrong but come on. She married for money and security. That comes with circumstances. Ask Kobe’s, Magic’s, Shaq’s, and Patrick Ewing’s wives. They ALL know what they sign up for when they join the fraternity. I for one will not cry for her choice. He was too sloppy and got caught. I feel bad for the kids because its not their fault their mother should have married for love and not the big house and lifetime vacations worldwide.
    Nobody lives in never never land..NOBODY!

  13. Tr8cthis

    Lets not get all oh boohoo for her. She only married him cuz he is Tiger Woods and was worth millions. I doubt before Tiger she was dating joe schmo from the local club who makes 30 k a year as a janitor. He was a nerdy kid in high-school and only recently had women throwing themselves all over him so he turned into a kid in a candy store. Still wrong but come on. She married for money and security. That comes with circumstances. Ask Kobe’s, Magic’s, Shaq’s, and Patrick Ewing’s wives. They ALL know what they sign up for when they join the fraternity. I for one will not cry for her choice. He was too sloppy and got caught. I feel bad for the kids because its not their fault their mother should have married for love and not the big house and lifetime vacations worldwide.
    Nobody lives in never never land..NOBODY!

  14. F'ER

    Damn… Elin…give me a call sometime. We can have some revenge sex baby.

  15. F'ER

    Damn… Elin…give me a call sometime. We can have some revenge sex baby.

  16. mamamiasweetpeaches

    I have to agree with #3. ONE mistress I MIGHT forgive. A large room full?! Wow. Way to make his wife look like a fool!

    Get out while the gettins good!

  17. Charlie

    Ok, Tiger, so you’re a sex addict and an adulterer. Now get back out on the golf course and do what we all know you can do.

  18. See Alice

    Back up the Brinks Trucks !!!! Elin is going for it all …..and deserves it !

  19. KG

    Divorce lawyers are suggesting she could get $200-$300 million in a divorce, despite the prenup (how she can break the prenup I don’t understand). Even with the embarassment, that’s not bad for five years’ work. Heck, you could dress me up as a clown and make me clean toilets every day in Grand Central Station for that kind of payoff.

  20. PunkA

    5 to 2.

    Those are the odds that Tiger tapped Rachel Uchitel once news hit that divorce papers were imminent.

    Bastard couldn’t even fake trying to make it work for a week.

    By the way, it is just me, or does Tiger have a bad case of Jungle Fever???

  21. rexkramer

    How do you say pre-nup in swedish? Swedish tax rates are over 50%! Elin will recinsile. She had a couple kids, got lazy in the sack (no BJs or backdoor antics) All the perks disappear if she divorces Tiger. No preferential treatment, no celebrity, the best she will be able to do is appear on the Tyra banks show. Get used to driving that Buick!

    If she really causes trouble look for a tragic accident or exploding cariboo to do her in. A billion bucks can buy a lot of retired Mossad.

  22. rexkramer

    How do you say pre-nup in swedish? Swedish tax rates are over 50%! Elin will recinsile. She had a couple kids, got lazy in the sack (no BJs or backdoor antics) All the perks disappear if she divorces Tiger. No preferential treatment, no celebrity, the best she will be able to do is appear on the Tyra banks show. Get used to driving that Buick!

    If she really causes trouble look for a tragic accident or exploding cariboo to do her in. A billion bucks can buy a lot of retired Mossad.

  23. rexkramer

    How do you say pre-nup in swedish? Swedish tax rates are over 50%! Elin will recinsile. She had a couple kids, got lazy in the sack (no BJs or backdoor antics) All the perks disappear if she divorces Tiger. No preferential treatment, no celebrity, the best she will be able to do is appear on the Tyra banks show. Get used to driving that Buick!

    If she really causes trouble look for a tragic accident or exploding cariboo to do her in. A billion bucks can buy a lot of retired Mossad.

  24. Boogeyman King Dong

    Why is Serena Williams missing here?! What’s wrong with her?!

  25. #1, #2 – OF COURSE THE KID IS STRANGE LOOKING!

    That bug-eyed ape is her father. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are 1 or 2 good looking black men, and plenty of fine-looking black women, but Tiger is just plain heinous. Not because he’s black (sorry, that doesn’t help, though), but because he’s also got some gook & some other stuff mixed in.

    Ever notice how we walks around with his mouth half open, lower lip dangling, like some kind of mouth breather? The dude is clearly not running the local Mensa chapter.

    How many other mixed-race mutts did this ape sire? Only time will tell. But let’s face it, each illegitimate kid is probably gonna cost him $50M-$100M.

  26. Fuck you

    I 100% don’t give a flying shit about this story anymore. When did this become ESPN?

  27. Anon

    She’d better hope there was no Domestic abuse or she can wave bye bye to everything

  28. Columbo

    I think ol’ Elin is going to drift this out for a good 6 months and get the very best cash award she can. 50/50 chance she will not divorce him so she can continue to ride the money train- for the kids of course…. She knows the Tig is stupid so he will continue to bargain to salvage any sense of legacy status he can. She’ll go disappear in Sweden when the time is right. This is the biggest crash & burn in history- and so quick for Tiagra.

  29. PostmortemG

    Those boots rock. That aside, Tiger Wood$ is fucked.

  30. Breasts are awesome

    I want Rachel Uchitels breasts in my face

  31. Elin Woods has finally taken some good advice. As for Woods, I see the fire burning up.

  32. sexy-cutie

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  33. victory

    Tiger’s biggest mistake? Getting married in the first place.

    You are that young, that rich, getting that much pussy, chasing that much strange, and you think you should get married?

    DumbFuck is Eldrick’s new nickname. “Tiger” is so 1998.

  34. Con Edison

    Difference between Tiger and Jeter is that Jeter isn’t married. Tiger tried to play the ideal family man when in reality he is just a walking STD.

  35. Mal Carne

    So what happened to Tiger’s indefinite leave from the game to focus on his marriage? Was that just another lie, Eldrich? How hard can you be working on saving your marriage if you’re still text messaging your bitches?

  36. so the little girl will be pitiful,without father or mother~~~~

  37. Sal

    Tiger time to pull out the pictures where she beat you with the golf club!
    Then how much you think she is going to get. Elin is a dumbbitch that didn’t give it up. What the hell she thought she was going to do during her marriage sit on her ass and eat bonbon’s. Ho should have open her legs some times.
    Her mama should have told her a man need you to give it up more than 1 times a month.

  38. stop letting these white girls ruin you tiger, get you a sexy ebony sista!

  39. White Girls are too Good for that Ugly Freak

    Nice one my little ape friends here. Ellen is beautiful and Tiger flat out cheated on her and without protection, which proves that although he may swing a golf club (hell early man used clubs so that really isn’t much of a skill now is it) he isn’t of any other skill. He coerced Ellen into going out with him by pursuing her repeatedly. Now she will get her money and he will pay for being a typical dark skinned mindless savage for the 20 fucking years. All the while Ellen will be having relations with handsome white men.
    Tiger Loses big.
    Swing!

  40. kerri

    ALL of these girls are horrible looking. Even that Rachel chick. She is the definition of “good from far – far from good”. If you ever seen an actual picture of her face without sunglasses on – she is a monster.
    Tiger’s loss big time.

  41. EuroNeckPain

    I don’t know what’s wrong with you people, Tiger woods is a good looking man ! I’m pretty sure that all these men who have money and fame go with many women (or men), some are only better at hiding it. Honestly, if you were extremely rich, would you keep the same sex life you have now ?

  42. Robin

    I hope Tiger realize by now white people have always hated him and have tried to ruin him from the beginning. He trusted white people too much.

  43. mamamiasweetpeaches

    I think the kids cute. Thats why Im tired of everyody saying “Why did he get married? Shoulda pulled a ‘Jeter’, fucked everyone he wanted to, blah blah blah” Because , Children, there is a time in your life when you usually want to have children. And it usually helps things if you put your selfish wants aside to HAVE them and just commit to being a good parent and respecting the OTHER parent so you set a good example. Sow your oats when youre young so you can commit to being a good spouse and parent later in life. So simple and yet so many people goof on this.

  44. Blue Jay

    Excuse me Robin, you say he trusted white people too much. He is worth a billion dollars and he didn’t get it from hanging out with “homies” in the ghetto, idiot. He fucking cheated on his wife and had unprotected sex with all manner of whores.
    Whites and blacks just don’t see anything eye to eye and should not live together.

  45. confusion

    How the hell does this site allow such racist comments? I understand free speech and all but jeez! There’s no way I could recommend this site to my friends! The wit & content is great, but the comments are…well…aversive.

    Can’t such commenters be funneled to a white supremacy or pro-segregation site…or better yet…oblivion? Totally ruins the experience.

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  47. xxlolita88

    What I find more disturbing than Tiger’s transgressions are all the sickeningly racist comments people have about biracial relationships and people. One man’s sins seem to pull all the other disgusting shit out of others.

  48. Julie Richardson

    The problem is that Tiger married a WHITE WOMAN. I hope she doesnt get anything. And all the UGLY WHITE WHORES that he messed with are to blame. Women need to take responsibility. Black should never mix with White. WHITE PEOPLE ARE EVIL WHORES. Look at history. The baby would be cute if it were all BLACK. But she is all mixed up. HER MOTHER IS SOOOO UGLY.

  49. laurente

    the man cheated excessively
    so what he happens to be black
    who cares black white green yellow he is scum
    what does color have to do with it
    he is disgusting
    he is a skank as well as the gals who boinged him
    sad sad idiot

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