Elin Woods fears no whore!

April 5th, 2010 // 48 Comments

Tiger Woods took off for the Masters in George Sunday but without his wife Elin who apparently doesn’t deal with the mistresses that plan on showing up. Hollywood Life reports:

“She did not even say goodbye to Tiger,” one insider told RadarOnline.
Could Elin’s absence have anything to do with the fact that several of Tiger’s ‘kittens’ (aka mistresses) like Joslyn James and Jaimee Grubbs are meant to show at the tourney? The Sunday Mail reported that the 34-year-old golf pro was so worried that he hired an additional 90 members of security to the 200 already stationed on the green.

Obviously this is bullshit considering Elin Woods possesses the power of Thor, but in a supermodel’s body, so it’s pretty clear the PGA didn’t want her there. I mean, God forbid the Masters turned into a whore version of Braveheart and someone actually experienced joy watching golf. The Earth would tilt right off its axis.

EDIT: Added a pic of Tiger with his new goatee which is probably the worst facial hair decision he could make right now unless he’s suddenly Iron Man. He might as well wear a T-shirt that says “I like lap dances with my pants off” and start winking after every sentence.

Photos: Splash News

  1. m fischer

    I’d do her

  2. GQ Guy

    When is he going to understand the marriage is over?

  3. alive

    @ 2 when she decides shes gonna leave billions…. oh wait thats not ever gonna happen retard.

  4. Ok, This is really funny – Jamie Jungers Story-
    (Turning the tables on this whole story)

  5. Ok, This is really funny – Jamie Jungers Story-
    (Turning the tables on this whole Tiger Woods fiasco)

  6. RtSS

    That is one fine looking blonde… Elin, call me. I will show you some love and support that you are not getting. You are so very beautiful. Call me. Tiger is an idiot.

  7. Crazy

    This marriage is over. This guy is going to get grudge sex from her for the rest of his life.

    Since that is true.. then he will be divorced sooner than later.

    Regardless of whatever money deal they have together. Smart people would stay together to maximize Tiger’s advertising $, due to his family image. THEN get divorced later when he is no longer relevant. They would both win then.

  8. Rough on half decafinated decaf

    Yeah! I would hire 90 Xtra securities too, if I knew the whore aromas would prevent me from concentrating….

  9. Mr. Nice Guy

    alive learn how to read.
    The question was when is “he” going to understand the marriage is over?
    Of course SHE is sticking around to make his life hell and suck every $$$ she can out of him.
    He needs to accept his loses and move on.

  10. Thanks for taking the time to write this post

  11. ms

    Great post, grazie per averlo condiviso con noi.

  12. fffffdddd

    S eekInterracial DOT COM== A GOOD CLUB FOR FUN!!

  13. It’s very unfortunate what Tiger Woods has done to his wife and children, family and friends. Golf is a game of stress, granted, but the elements, competition and the skill should select the winner, not some bean counters.

  14. bakinmycake

    Get a globe fish….the MAsters is in Georgia.

    Where is George?

  15. Gando

    It’s almost cliche;wealthy businessman married to a devote and decent,most at the time religious, woman.For the public and kids.But having hookers for the fun.

  16. cellphone

    She just doesn’t like it in the shitter.What’s wrong with that?

  17. Why is that filthy cheating ape sweating like a goddamn pig?

    Also, he’s looking kind of fat now.

  18. Nero

    I’d see an unpaid,disciplined Swedish nanny.Having occasionally unpaid and unprotected sex with TW.

  19. Willie Dixon

    A goatee is step 1 to Duchedom. He’ll be rocking leather pants and Affliction/Ed Hardy type clothes by the end of the year.

  20. Tiger Woods baby…Bad Boy Incorporated 2010…Yeeah.

    Crap. I was really feeling thankful that Grubbee had disappeared. Even with that busted Joslyn James still around.

  21. D in BIG D


  22. Rhialto

    That reminds me on the Dutch Golden Age (17th century) @21.Hypocritical on to the bone.There was even a ‘high class’ name for hookers;courtesans.

  23. It’s Diddy time. He’s even doing the mouth-breather thing.

  24. Tiger looks like a an even douchier P Diddy with that goatee but I jerked off to him anyway.

    I just want to say that even though I like a little gayness when I jerk off, I am straight as hell and I will prove it to anyone who doubts me.



  25. nicefrenchgurl

    a**hole or not, goatee or not, i still find him sexy

  26. justifiable

    Well, I suppose it’s marginally better that Tiger is in George this week rather than in one of his mistresses. Apparently sex rehab takes you to some strange places.

  27. anon

    Why is she at a tennis tournament??? No golf?

  28. Jungle Fever Infection

    I think the Tiger is sexy too! I don’t care how much he cheats, who he fucks over, he could have me any way he wants me! Ellen is a loser who doesn’t know a good man when she has one.

  29. LPB

    Not that it’s your specialty or anything, but the PGA has nothing to do with what happens at the Masters.

    But I’ll stipulate to your point and agree that Augusta National probably felt like they could do without Elin being there in person. CBS, on the other hand, would probably give anything if they could get her there.

    She will of course, loom above the course, Thor-like, ready to deliver a hammer blow of thunder at just the right moment.

  30. I will show you some love and support that you are not getting. You are so very beautiful. Call me. Tiger is an idiot.

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  32. captain america

    because the united states hate it to tell people the truth.

  33. Syd

    Tiger got himself a chin pussy? :)

  34. thank you that was so briliant and so funny ( I mean the escape of kids) that I burst in laugh , but very quickly apologized to Mj and ask for his forgivnes.Poor guy is probabaly pacing the heaven back and forth trying to tell us the truth , and being tremondously angry with hmmm I dont know if I should ever call that killer a doctor .Doctor is a person who is doing everyuthing to save someones life .Killer is a person who takes that life away ….so what do You thing tough decison …..NOT

  35. we finally broke through the emotional attachment, with a sub-rational to examine their own culture. Not all receive, there is no overall negative, we look more objective, rational and intelligent … …

  36. pillsy
    Commented on this photo:

    Two balls in my own hand — if it’s gotta be…

  37. geciktirici sprey

    stag sprey

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