Rachel Uchitel Banged Elin Nordegren’s New Boyfriend. Of Course.

July 18th, 2011 // 46 Comments

*sniff sniff* “Gold?”

If you’re rich and even remotely good looking, there’s a pretty good chance you’ve banged Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods‘ Ground Whore Zero, at some pint. Which is why it shouldn’t be at all shocking that she just revealed she already had sex with Elin Nordegren‘s new boyfriend Jamie Dingman, the son of a billionaire tycoon. TMZ reports:

But before Elin, sources tell TMZ Jamie and Rachel were an item — and there was a little bit of an overlap with Jamie and Tiger, but Jamie bowed out to the golfer.
In fact, when Rachael got serious with Tiger, Jamie joked with her, “That ok. [sic] I’ll date his wife, Elin.”

In related news, Jamie Dingman just became the first recipient of a complete skull replacement – valued at $10.6 million – after a pitching wedge was mysteriously inserted into his previous one with unparalleled force which authorities believe rules out a woman because “they’re terrible at sports.”

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. What an inbred bunch. Def do elin over uchicooch

    • BFD

      Um, I would think Elin would vet any future beau to make sure one of Tigers girls didn’t get there first. But then again, she didn’t do such a good job checking on Tiger now did she.

      I don’t think you can blame Ucitel for this one. It’s all Elin’s own fault.

  2. nessa

    Who is she?

  3. Richard McBeef

    Hey Elin, I have never banged Snatchitel or any other well known gold diggers, famewhores, and/or pornstars. Just throwin’ it out there.

  4. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Honkey
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s official: Tiger banged a cross-dressing, broad-shouldered dude with breast implants… and no, we’re not talking about John Daly.

  5. Venom

    Ha Ha HA, this golddigging bitch Elin can’t catch a break.
    She will never be able to find a man that has not fucked Uchitel until she starts dating regular non-wealthy guys.

    I don’t agree with what Tiger did, but how the fuck does she deserve $100 million for doing nothing but sitting on her ass all day and having a couple of kids?
    Clooney and DiCaprio have the right idea.

  6. Star Droppings

    I doubt she’s upset, any guy making over twenty grand a year has seen Rachel’s Uchitel. Now if homeboy comes home smelling like a Waffle House and drug store perfume, there’s going to be a problem.

  7. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Sean
    Commented on this photo:

    What the Fuck is wrong with her face?

  8. Wanted:
    Blonde Nanny. Experience preferred. Twin sister welcome, even encouraged. 100 million dollar fortune a plus, as I will be paying you in semen. Please send inquiries to dreg@superficial.com*

    *Not an actual e-mail address.

  9. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    rough
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how she exclusively made herself available for billionaires. That’s what you call self worth.

  10. suz

    Poor lila flickan…. she can’t catch a break!

  11. TomFrank

    Yes, it will take “some pint” to bang Rachel Uchitel. Maybe more than one.

  12. subwayduck

    Is RU standing with the fat Davis brother (Huggy Bear?) in the last pic?

  13. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Who's roughing who?
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel: you other bitches are losers. Look at me…

  14. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Who's roughing who?
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel: Look at me only Billionaires wants me…

  15. Turd Ferguson

    One looks HOT. One of them you would love to bang. One of them you could marry. One has model good-looks. One of them is dripping with class and dignity.

    Ooops – that all describes the beautiful blonde, not the tranny.

  16. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Elizabeth
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmmm, looks like she’s pregnant in photo #1 too!!! Lol- tummy! I would notice :)

  17. anonymous

    well both of them bang rich guys for a living. i’m sure if they compared notes they’ll find more than just Tiger and this new guy in common.

  18. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t see what the big deal about her is. Never liked her face.

  19. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    I KNEW IT! MICHAEL LIVES!

  20. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    the whole enchilada
    Commented on this photo:

    Fore!

  21. Dick Douche, Private Eye

    I am watching this one closely. The fate of poor Mr. Dingham will finally settle the question: Is Elin Nordegren really that good at busting balls, or was Tiger just that big of a pussy?

  22. the captain

    so do not trust american friends.
    NOR HUSBANDS OR WIVES!!

  23. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Commented on this photo:

    he is real your boyfriend .Genie Bra

  24. NeNe

    Who hasn’t Rachel banged?

  25. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Gumption
    Commented on this photo:

    um, yeah,um…I…MUST…SAY…IT…the chil’ be ugly

  26. Elin Nordegren Rachel Uchitel
    Entry Level Mechanical Engineering Jobs
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