Elin Nordegren’s Dating Her Billionaire Neighbor Now

It’s no secret that Elin Nordegren’s type is rich as fuck, and now she’s taken it to a level most of us can relate to: Banging whatever’s closest and available. On that note, if this guy turns out to be a tube of Grands cinnamon buns, I’m going to be officially freaked out. Page Six reports:

Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, is quietly dating her older Florida neighbor, billionaire coal magnate Chris Cline, sources exclusively tell us. Nordegren, 33, the Swedish former model, and Cline, 53, both have mansions in the exclusive North Palm Beach oceanfront community of Seminole Landing, where Nordegren had her home bulldozed and rebuilt after splitting with Woods. “Elin and Chris have been dating since the holidays,” a source tells Page Six. Cline, a West Virginia native worth a reported $1.2 billion.

Barring marrying into Saudi royalty, I will never know what it’s like to have sex with Elin Nordegren’s vagina, so can someone please explain to me what it does differently that makes these guys literally risk millions of dollars over it. It has to be more than just some hole to stick your penis into even though every impulse in my body is screaming, “Do whatever it takes to make that stuff you just said happen. The penis in a hole stuff. Do that.”

Photos: Splash News