Liam Hemsworth Traded In Miley Cyrus For This

September 18th, 2013 // 47 Comments

Earlier in the week, reports were flying that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth‘s breakup was January Jones‘ fault which made sense at the time because infidelity powers her ice-bot core. Except it turns out Liam is the smartest man alive and moved his penis over to 23-year-old Mexican singer/actress Eiza González who unlike Miley isn’t an international embarrassment, and unlike January isn’t a 35-year-old single mother who’s constantly trying to throw her son in a canal. It’s the best of both worlds.

Or Liam Hemsworth saw this Tom Brady “Wrecking Ball” GIF and never not saw it until the day he died thus aligning our fates:

Tom Brady Miley Cyrus GIF

h/t Buzzfeed

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Oscar

    She’s our anorexic alien!

  2. Walter White

    Nice upgrade.

  3. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    One thing’s certain. Liam is an idiot… for waiting this long to dump that androgynous chipmunk.

  4. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Jack Hoff
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes…OH YES…

  5. the new one’s face looks like that of a puffer fish.

  6. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    those are some gross ass 50 year old lady tits. Liam sure knows how to pick’em. Who’s next, Kelly Clarkson or Demi Lovato?

  7. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    No, No!! – said Liam as he rolled up a newspaper and hit her on the nose every time she threw up a peace sign. For some reason it annoyed him.

  8. Hmmmm, looks like a WOMAN, no pumpkin head, no tongue waggling out of her mouth like a tired hound…What the hell was he thinking?

    • Trek Girl

      She wasn’t like that when he got with her, nor when he proposed to her — well, at least not in public. It appears she did all that afterward, so don’t be too hard on the guy. He looked just as horrfied as we felt.

      I’m glad they didn’t get married before that happened. That would have been a bait and switch — not cool.

  9. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    WOW!!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Great, now my keyboard is a mess and I’m going to be late for work again.

  10. Fake

    She’s had a shitload of work done.

  11. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Talk about trading up!

  12. myklspader

    Fair trade.

  13. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet feminine face…..and no tattoos.
    Well done Liam.

  14. ZOE

    And also UNLIKE Miley this chick is a climber. Miley has a career which is something Liam DOESN’T.

    I mean how nice she “just moved to LA to find fame” and she’s hooked up with a D list actor who people only know about of his ex gf and brother.

    But sure lets blame Miley and elevate his trifling ass. That’s what you always do.

  15. dont worry miley, i think the sham-wow guy is available.

  16. She’s not sticking her tongue out. Sorry, thats just weird.

  17. Well done Liam, well done.

  18. Sheppy

    I’d be pretty happy to park my penis there too.

  19. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    michaelsrojas
    Commented on this photo:

    jyjsrjtjj

  20. Looks like a fun few weeks for him.

  21. JC

    He’s just excited to be dating a woman who has the correct number of chromosomes.

  22. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This is called “trading up”

  23. Jack Ketch

    And I’d say “well done”!!

  24. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Piper
    Commented on this photo:

    In every photo like this, there’s always a fat chick eating her feelings.

  25. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Eugene
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she could lose an argument to my cereal bowl, but from the neck down … party on Liam!!!

  26. I am not sure who Liam Hemsworth is but apparently he is not a dumbass.

  27. Walter_

    One thing you got right: Eiza isn’t an international embarrassment, she is just a mexican embarrassment.

    She is no more than a mexican socialite, with as much talents as Paris Hilton DJ-ying, and at 23 she has more surgeries than Joan Rivers at her 142.

    But well, I guess everything is better than actual Miley.

  28. vandal

    She’s traded him in for a lump hammer.

  29. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    fu
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she has had massive plastic surgeries just like Minka Kelly. Too young for this botoxface look

  30. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Miley, but this is a definite upgrade.

  31. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley, dear heart, can you see this Eiza González woman? Know what that means? GAME OVER! So pack up your toys and go on back to that place from whence you came. Or Shitstain, TN or wherever…

  32. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    DAYAMMM…Could she be any cuter? Mongo like. Mongo want…

  33. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Judd
    Commented on this photo:

    I say–good trade!!

  34. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    D Wolfe
    Commented on this photo:

    In some of these photos she bears a striking resemblance to his brother’s wife, Elsa Pataky. They could almost be sisters….hmm..

  35. Eiza González Liam Hemsworth Rumored New Girlfriend
    Cap'n Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Upgrade

  36. Swearin

    I see what’s going on here, it’s classic sibling rivalry; older brother got a hot, Spanish-speaking wife, so now little brother wants one too.

  37. anonymous

    Meh….don’t see the big deal here. Unlike his brother, Liam has lousy taste in women.

    The dude is in Hunger Games- if you can’t get a hot chick appearing in that movie, there’s something wrong.

  38. haha

    head looks a bitt off to me
    bit narrow? long? & small? all @ the same time?
    is it the jaw line? a deep jawline maybe? and a largish protruding chin? something in mouth area looks off.

    shes still very pretty of course. just looks a bit off to me

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