Earlier in the week, reports were flying that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth‘s breakup was January Jones‘ fault which made sense at the time because infidelity powers her ice-bot core. Except it turns out Liam is the smartest man alive and moved his penis over to 23-year-old Mexican singer/actress Eiza González who unlike Miley isn’t an international embarrassment, and unlike January isn’t a 35-year-old single mother who’s constantly trying to throw her son in a canal. It’s the best of both worlds.
Or Liam Hemsworth saw this Tom Brady “Wrecking Ball” GIF and never not saw it until the day he died thus aligning our fates:
Photos: Getty, Splash News