Eddie Murphy and Mariah Carey are janitors

Eddie Murphy and Mariah Carey allegedly hooked up last Friday in Miami after he invited her to Prive to party with him and some friends. According to the NY Daily News, “they were holding hands as they slid into the backseat of a Mercedes, and zipped over to the five-star Hotel Setai … ‘They were sitting in the car 15, 20 minutes until nobody was on the street and then they went in together.’”

There’s all sorts of explanations as to why Eddie Murphy and Mariah Carey would sneak into a hotel together, but the most probable one is that they’re both desperate for money and have taken up jobs as hotel janitors. It’s been awhile since either of them have had any sort of success, so it makes perfect sense that they’re trying to pay off their bills by cleaning up the poo of complete strangers. And you know what else makes perfect sense? My logic.