Easy, Kate Upton’s Boobs, It’s Okay, That Mean Old Cameron Diaz Is Gone, You Can Come Back Out

April 30th, 2014 // 8 Comments
String Bikini Dance
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Posted by Photo Boy

After the long, dark winter of being forced to pretend she’s not 10,000 times hotter than Cameron Diaz & Leslie Mann while promoting The Other Woman, spring is finally here for Kate Upton. And not a moment too soon, because for a minute there it seemed like she was about to forgo using her breasts to catapult to stardom in favor of marrying a director who will cast her in everything, or growing a penis to woo Alex Rodriguez. Both of which are valid tracks to financial success, but do you want young boys to stop masturbating and start using steroids or thinking Judd Apatow comedies aren’t broad, navel-gazing suburbia porn? Shh, it’s fine now, Kate, you’re not the first to make this terrible mistake.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Kate Upton Cleavage Vogue UK Photo Shoot
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Vogue people know how to divert attention away from a squishy waistline.

  2. Kate Upton Cleavage Vogue UK Photo Shoot
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in California, and probably in tacky customized classic car, Jay Leno masturbates furiously to this photo, moaning loudly “Oh yeah baby! Denim!”

  3. Imagine if at the end of each year she was presented with a container filled with all the jizz that’s been spilled over her in the past 12 months. I imagine her house would look like a brewery.

  4. Beer for thoughr

    Meh, those things are gonna hit the floor one day in the not too distant future. And to everyone calling her fat, she would look ridiculous if she lost a lot of weight, her proportions are correct to her boob size you idiots.

  5. I’d rather have Leslie Mann

    • Marketing Mike

      So let’s say your banging around Chateau late one night,
      and you find yourself in a room alone with a hot, naked
      woman on the bed. She invites you over and….
      (a) If it’s Kate, 2 minutes later your bored and she’s texting.
      (b) If its Leslie, you spend 2 hours laughing, talking, and
      re-hitting it over and over. She wears you out, literally…

  6. LAla

    Cameron needs to move on. She looks like Kate’s mom.

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