Goddammit, Rolling Stone

Because apparently Jann Wenner’s kid is picking the covers now, Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is on the cover of Rolling Stone’s August issue which, if you haven’t heard by now, has caused some shit. And understandably so because what the goddamn fuck?! I get that there’s an exhaustively researched piece in the issue that’s probably going to be very well-written and delves deep into how this kid grew up in Boston yet succumbed to his brother’s extremism and sought revenge for America’s military actions overseas. That’s important stuff to dig into because the fact that our bullshit war on terror is just creating more terrorists is something that needs to be talked about in more than just recaps of Homeland episodes. But that doesn’t mean you put a dreamy picture of a terrorist on your cover where it looks like he’s about to perform at The Bowery Ballroom with the Grizzly Bears. I get that there’s a “Free Jahar” movement out there – Which apparently is a lucrative magazine purchasing market? – but let’s not forget Dzhokhar Tsarnaev willingly and knowingly placed a backpack with a homemade crockpot bomb just a few feet away from an innocent little boy standing on the railing, watching the race with his dad:

Martin Richard

That poor kid is dead because Dzhokhar Tsarnaev couldn’t find a better way to shed light on American atrocities than blowing up innocent bystanders. And don’t get me wrong, I know we’re drone striking schoolkids left and right and barely anybody’s talking about it, but Christ, man, you grew up here. And if there’s one thing we preach, but hardly ever practice, it’s be better than your enemy. (Although, in fairness, I read way too many comic books.) But I’m getting off point and that’s choosing the deadly path of least resistance should probably also explode your right to be on the cover of a pop culture magazine looking like the sexy Instagram terrorist. So to Rolling Stone, I really hope the troll was worth the price of making anyone who doesn’t adopt a hard, right-wing stance on terrorism look like they want to make out with Jihadists now. Somewhere there’s a Breitbart shithead with an erection crossing “Liberal rag blatantly glamorizing terrorism” off his Christmas list, so well played.