Dustin Diamond might have used a stunt penis


Dustin Diamond has been claiming his leaked sex tape was a private video he made four years ago on a dare from some poker friends, even telling Dr. Keith Ablow that “We tried to stop it.” But David Hans Schmidt, who brokered the deal, says he’s sick of Dustin’s lies and claims the video was made last summer with the direct intent to sell.

“Dustin was in on this deal from the start,” Schmidt tells us. “He made this tape in a St. Louis hotel room with two girls last summer with the intention that I would sell it.” Schmidt showed us what he vouches is Diamond’s signature on a contract dated Aug. 27, 2006. Attached is a cover letter on which Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, appears to have scribbled, “Let’s make some money!” Schmidt suspects Diamond has been doubly deceptive. “I have reason to believe that is not Dustin’s [manhood] in the movie,” says the agent. “You never see his face and his [manhood] in the same shot. If, in fact, he used a body double, I’m going to sue him for defrauding me, Red Light and the American public.”

Of course it wasn’t his real penis. I’m not sure modern technology has cameras capable of picking up objects that small. Technically it’s not even considered a penis anymore, more like an enlarged vagina. I believe the medical definition is “Vanilla Tootsie Roll.”