Screech F*cking Stabbed A Guy

Now that I’ve crammed the site with a lucrative amount of nipples and butts, it’s time to focus on my real passion: Saved By The Bell lore which was my concentration at Dartmouth. Anyway, Dustin Diamond a.k.a. Screech a.k.a. Samuel Powers reportedly stabbed a guy during a bar fight in Wisconsin, and no, not at The Max. If that were the case, Zack would’ve obviously stopped everything with the time-out powers Satan gave him. Did none of you matriculate?! FOX 6 reports:

According to an arrest report released Friday afternoon, the stabbing took place late on Christmas during an argument in the Grand Avenue Saloon.
Diamond said he and his girlfriend, 27-year-old Amanda Schutz were inside the bar when a group of intoxicated people started behaving in a rude and insulting manner, leading him to believe “there was going to be a brawl,” the report said.
He said he turned to close his account and get their coats, but when he looked back, his girlfriend was bleeding and two men were holding her hair, the report said.
Diamond said he moved toward his girlfriend when a man grabbed him, the report said. Diamond said he he might have stabbed the man with a pen used to sign a credit card receipt, but later conceded he was armed with the knife, the report said.

So Screech’s story is that a fight broke out, and he had to protect his women by stabbing a random guy with a switchblade, so naturally there’s only one way for this to story to end, and surprise, it’s his girlfriend started the whole thing:

The man identified as the stabbing victim told police he didn’t see a knife or initially feel being cut. Police said the wound was not life threatening. Court documents say the victim suffered a half-inch wound with “substantial bleeding” under the arm pit. That victim is recovering at home.
Other people in the bar said the fracas started when women started shoving each other, the police report said. One witness told police a woman was upset because people were taking pictures of her and her boyfriend.

“Listen, baby, you ride with the Screechinator, you’re going to get your pic taken. Them’s the breaks. Now hide this knife, the kid at Subway wouldn’t give me extra pickles because he was born after 1993. It’s called Netflix, you wheelchaired shit- and those are cops.” *picks up girlfriend, throws her at them, runs*

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: Splash News