Courtney Stodden’s Stuck In A House With Screech

August 23rd, 2013 // 45 Comments
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“I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with ME.”

Last night was the premiere of Celebrity Big Brother, the popular UK reality show where they take the oily residue of American fame and lock them in a house without having the decency to fill the place with leftover gas from the Holocaust because the British are weak. To prove my point, Dustin Diamond is on this season and walked on stage making the clear and undeniable faces of a man who’s going to rape the first person he’s alone in room with. And before Salon or Jezebel get all up in arms that “rape jokes are never funny,” I’m not even trying to make a joke here. That’s a legitimate warning. If Dustin Diamond is in your line of vision, curl up in the fetal position and say his name backwards three times. That’s the only way to send him back to his realm: Rape Earth 2.

Photos: Getty, WENN

superficial

  1. Jezebel is cool with rape jokes as long as the victim isn’t the punchline.

  2. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ummmmm…. Microphone?

  3. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww… did someone get a new face!?!

  4. Also I had the experience of being in a store with Screech a few months ago and he acts just like Screech, except fat as fuck and overly goofy for attention from anyone who might have happened to be in earshot. He bought underwear with chipmunks on them and was with a girl whose self-esteem was too low to realize she could be doing much better. Incidentally, I saw Bruno Mars and Maxine from Living Single the same exact night. What a zoo LA must be.

    • I’m not sure what the precise statistical term would be for the absolute nadir of a given measurement, but this girl may well be at Point Zero for starfucking.

  5. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    The Screech Reach.

  6. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Thats a creepy looking Craig Ferguson eyeing the plastic in the background. Oh I really feel sorry for the Poms.

  7. stevebrt

    Is there a God of pyromania that I can pray to?

  8. Red

    It a really cool show ..watched it last night.. courtney was harmless

  9. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how she studies epileptics to get her “sexy poses.”

  10. Cock Dr

    OMG did she land a paying gig that doesn’t involve posing with corpses?
    Hmmm…locked in a house with Dustin Diamond…..pretty much the same thing.

  11. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “THIS IS MY “OH, YOU DONT LIKE IT IN THE ASS? TOUGH SHIT!” FACE”

  12. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are Courtney and I going to hook up?….tee-hee…I’m going to RAPE her”

  13. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    See how it goes now, Britain? You dare send Paltrow back to the States, and we’ll just send something like this back over in her place.

  14. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back for her and Dougie….mark my words

  15. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice wooden clogs, dyke.

  16. What good are all these drone and guided munitions if we don’t go after terrorists, everywhere, in all forms.

  17. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is that women presenting the show?

  18. I never thought I’d feel sorry for Screech.

  19. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwww, that’s is seriously fug. Gross.

  20. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    If Donatella Versace would move, we might see Courtney Stodden.

  21. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks as if she’s been swigging Pepto Bismol.

  22. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Em
    Commented on this photo:

    Top contender for grossest person alive.

  23. Just her VT – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyWbGvxl9TQ

    Her entrance at 30:30 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=squvwGGosUQ

    The crowds reaction sums it up perfectly.

  24. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the final countdown!

  25. On the plus side, I would rather see a sex tape with her and Screech than her and the old dude…I guess.

  26. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    TEQUILA!

  27. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    So disgusting. What are these kinds of people thinking about…if anything at all?

  28. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Top heavy creature teetering in hideous towering shoes…she’s good for a laugh at least.

  29. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Greenie
    Commented on this photo:

    Jazz hands? More like Jizz hands…am I right folks?

  30. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    The airpump for her boobs shows through that dress.

  31. EDWARD ELIZABETH HITLER

    Fuck “jezebel.” If they’re unhappy, I’m very happy.

  32. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    *cricket noises*

  33. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, why did you agree to do Big Brother?”
    “Cause I’m homeless…YEAH! LIVIN’ IN MY CAR!”

  34. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    “I must have you Whore House Barbie!”

  35. anonymous

    I’m completely missing the part on how this is “CELEBRITY” Big Brother.

    Where’s the celebrities?

  36. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    jusme
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ima show the WORLD what they missin out on, YO! This gig gonna make me famous again!” Cant believe thats what your thinkin douchebag

  37. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve lost respect for the English. this shows how dumb they are

  38. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    mua
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr Cock you would do her in a heart beat if she would do you

  39. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Put up your dukes ! Put up your dukes !”

  40. Dustin Diamond Insane Faces Courtney Stodden Clevage Tight Minidress Celebrity Big Brother Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Those shoes require a ‘spotter’ in case she falls.

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