In news nobody cares about except Drew Lachey and maybe his parents, Drew and his wife gave birth to their first daughter yesterday. A rep for the couple says, “Mom, Dad and baby are all happy and healthy.”
It’s great news and all, but somebody like Drew really doesn’t need a rep to make statements like this for him. It’d be like Gary Coleman sending out a press release that he finally saved up enough for that Honda Civic. Probably very exciting times, but the only people that care are either related by blood or depressed.
staticbumblebee | March 24, 2006 at 2:59 pm
First!!
Jayvee | March 24, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Gladly take second…
But really, who pumped fat into Gwyneth Paltrow and paid her to stand next to Drew?
Italian Stallion | March 24, 2006 at 3:09 pm
The caption should read Drew Lachey loses his virginity to someone other then his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MissyDra | March 24, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Oh, come on now. Let him enjoy the last 3min of the 15 he regained from Dancing with the Has-beens.
Of course, if he tried to capitalize any more on it he will have to be stopped! Get ye to the Stop-N-Shop.
doesntmatter | March 24, 2006 at 3:15 pm
is it only me or does she look around 16 years old. a very preggers 16 years old. well, at least she looks happy and is glowing, unlike crazy alien baby mother katie holmes. what is it now, 11 months along on that one? geez
Lala | March 24, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Unless the baby does a dancefloor version of the Triple Lundy landing in a backflip, while wearing a gold lame dress and 4-inch heels on the next season of Dancing With the Stars…I’m not impressed.
~S.Starr~ | March 24, 2006 at 3:24 pm
#5…they are both 29 yrs old. although she does look rather young in that pic. I think it’s just the picture…b/c she looks 29 in person.
Claybird | March 24, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Does this mean she will get her own birthing monument like Britney Spears did? So, Britney was laying on a bear, what will Drew’s wife be laying on? Tom Bergeron?
msakraid | March 24, 2006 at 3:52 pm
I thought that Britney Spears was married to that Federline guy?
Jacq | March 24, 2006 at 4:04 pm
It’s always a comfort to hear that Dad came through the delivery with flying colors. Seriously, has one ever been lost to birthing complications?
I first saw his wife on ‘Newlyweds’. At the time I thought geez, he’s got to be so jealous of Nick. Well, look who’s still married. Pretty girls cheat.
PapaHotNuts | March 24, 2006 at 4:04 pm
In other irrevelant news, I just finished cutting my grass and now I’m going to edge the driveway. I”ll update you when I’m done with that.
Jacq | March 24, 2006 at 4:06 pm
P.S. I forgot – that means that ugly ones are just greatful to have a man.
PapaHotNuts, where have you been? Good luck with the yard – watch your toes.
Jayne | March 24, 2006 at 4:17 pm
he can do so much better.
Like Jessica.
sometimesboy | March 24, 2006 at 4:27 pm
ah…gary coleman’s getting a new car? cool..what color? any pics to post? did he go with the leather booster seat? details, details!!!
PapaHotNuts | March 24, 2006 at 4:40 pm
# 12 Jaqd- I had 5 hours worth of back surgery a month or so ago and between rehab, writing (I’m a journalist), and being looped up on Loritab and Miller Lite, I’m just getting back. Nice of you to ask. Where are ESQ, Ladyeebug, ManU, and the others? Thanks again.
PapaHotNuts | March 24, 2006 at 4:41 pm
# 12 Jacq- I had 5 hours worth of back surgery a month or so ago and between rehab, writing (I’m a journalist), and being looped up on Loritab and Miller Lite, I’m just getting back. Nice of you to ask. Where are ESQ, Ladyeebug, ManU, and the others? Thanks again.
hafaball | March 24, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Why wouldn’t he be healthy? Did he give birth too? O.o
malicious | March 24, 2006 at 4:54 pm
His wife is hideous.
asmith | March 24, 2006 at 5:14 pm
# 5 – you got it all wrong. Katie has known Tom for 11 months…pregnant for 10.
I think Drew is better looking than Nick. Probably smarter too…
Jacq | March 24, 2006 at 5:15 pm
Papa! Sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that! ESQ is around, but neither of us have seen Ladyeebug lately. Welcome back! So does Loritab/Miller make you even funnier?
Tania | March 24, 2006 at 5:15 pm
I love how it’s “Drew AND his wife gave birth…” I’m pretty sure that she was the only one squeezing out an 8 pound human being.
She was a lot prettier before she got pregnant (on Newlyweds for example). Pregnancy broke her.
asmith | March 24, 2006 at 5:17 pm
PapaHotNuts – what else is up for the weekend? Mulch? Planting flowers? I’m interested in whats going on…
boredatwurk | March 24, 2006 at 5:36 pm
#11 HA HA HA HA. So funny. Keep us posted.
bloodyvictim | March 24, 2006 at 5:49 pm
the most important part of the story was left out:
“Drew has sex with Goblin-woman, monster-hybrid baby expected”
Praz | March 24, 2006 at 5:52 pm
So Drew’s not gay?
I don’t get it.
Plus wtf is up with his wife’s teeth.
daria405 | March 24, 2006 at 5:53 pm
Haha, #5 and #18 – my fiance always asks: “Shouldn’t Katie Holmes have had her baby by now? Isn’t she more than 9 months pregnant?”
PapaHotNuts | March 24, 2006 at 7:20 pm
UPDATE: I edged the driveway but before I got to the sidewalk, I ran out of gas. But what happens next will absolutely blow you away- I refilled the blower with a 40:1 gas/oil ratio and carried on. I know this sounds unbelievable, but I assure you this is what happened. I also saw a bird.
PapaHotNuts | March 24, 2006 at 7:21 pm
UPDATE: I edged the driveway but before I got to the sidewalk, I ran out of gas. But what happens next will absolutely blow you away- I refilled the blower with a 40:1 gas/oil ratio and carried on. I know this sounds unbelievable, but I assure you this is what happened. I also saw a bird.
krisdylee | March 24, 2006 at 8:51 pm
what kind of bird?
MissyDra | March 24, 2006 at 8:58 pm
COME ON! I can’t wait any longer for the juicy details!
TheHappyRobot | March 24, 2006 at 9:07 pm
dude, someone PLEASE tell me that they remember when this girl was on Saturday Night Live in the early-mid 90′s with Chris Farley and all? you know the one…..
Pez_D_Spencer | March 24, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Nice pic. Denny’s employees of the month, I guess.
Chris'sMom | March 24, 2006 at 11:30 pm
#10 Actually there was a man in Southern California who passed out during his wife’s C-section. His wife said that he really didn’t feel comfortable cutting the cord, but the doctor coerced him to. When he passed out he hit the back of his head on the aluminum base molding of the floor. Later that day he died of a brain hemorrage.
derekd | March 24, 2006 at 11:37 pm
The first 4 words of the article says it all.
SUPERFICIAL U ARE SLIPPIN’ BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!
just_a_girl | March 25, 2006 at 12:04 am
#31, I know who you’re talking about. Her name is Melanie Hutsell. His wife sure does look a lot like her!!
TheHappyRobot | March 25, 2006 at 9:19 am
this is the best pic of melanie hutsell i could find.
http://www.usedwigs.com/graphics/MH.jpg
not one of SNL’s more memorable cast members. but even so, lachey totally married her anyway.
blueballs | March 25, 2006 at 10:24 am
It would suck for him if he found out he wasn’t the father but instead it was Nick!
CheekyChops | March 25, 2006 at 10:49 am
I’m making strip steak for dinner smothered in peppers, onions and mushrooms with a peppercorn and thyme gravy. That will be followed by death by chocolate cake.
Chris'sMom | March 25, 2006 at 10:59 am
PapaHotNuts what did you make for dinner??
happyday | March 25, 2006 at 12:27 pm
What kind of lawn mower? Please tell me it’s riding mower.
just_a_girl | March 25, 2006 at 1:43 pm
She used to be the choreographer for 98 degrees…I guess that explains a lot. Drew and her have been together since they were 9. I guess she looked a lot better back then.
The Lazy Asian | March 25, 2006 at 6:00 pm
thanks for the breaking news.
coco | March 26, 2006 at 12:09 am
Drew Lachey has a baby…and a fat ugly wife
ning_ning | March 26, 2006 at 2:06 am
WOW!CONGRAULATIONS AND WHO GIVES A FUCK?
boobtube | March 26, 2006 at 1:58 pm
I still don’t know who Drew or Nick Lachey are… I think I’m better off not knowing! VRRROOOOMMMM!
gogoboots | March 26, 2006 at 2:20 pm
huh? drew who?
Larry | March 26, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Exactly. Is this some reality show asshole or something?
And yeah, his wife is really fat too. Just look at that big belly. She’s really got to lose a few pounds in her midsection. Do some stomach crunches or something ….
overcast | March 26, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Seriously though. Being Nick Lachey’s brother doesn’t get you anything better than THAT!?!
LickyLicky | March 27, 2006 at 12:46 am
PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Now don’t you go doing anything crazy-stupid like, oh, say, laying mulch! I mean, we can only take so much here.
So anyway, glad to hear you’re doing better. I like Milagro, all by itself, or maybe with a half a Vicodin when my back says, “HEY, asshole! Remember all that shit you picked up in the yard yesterday?”, but other than that, cool for you. Does the Miller/Lortab combo really make you funnier? ‘Cause I don’t think we can handle your truth if it does.
I finally saw a Laydee post on the Kevin Smith page.
Are we still on for Vegas? I think Binky should come along.
urockmysocks | March 27, 2006 at 6:49 am
here’s a picture of them when his wife was actually thinner:
http://cache.eonline.com/News/Photos/l/lachey.drew.lea.032406.jpg
I’m sure to say that she looks like crap now with all the fat in her belly and heck she was never close to “pretty” to begin with..she reminds me of a frigging camel..and those teeth are hurting my eyes..