Drew Barrymore & Justin Long stop having awkward sex

Sad news, folks. Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have broken up. Who? Exactly. Us Magazine reports:

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long have split, her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively.
“They are still friends,” a source close to Barrymore tells Us.

Okay, let’s be honest: no one outside of Justin Long’s penis cares about this news. I’d have more fun chewing on a live power line then talk about these two. In fact, I haven’t had breakfast yet, so if you’ll excuse me… *KA-ZZZZZZZZZAP* Oh, yeah, I made the right choice. I mean, who needs body hair or the ability to see in color anyway? Not this guy!