“Because ain’t nothin’ more street than Nivea hydrating lip gloss. It’s UV protection all day, nigga.”
So far in the wake of the Chris Brown/Drake bar brawl at W.i.P nightclub in New York we’ve seen what feels like every single person alive claim to have injuries (I’m still picking glass out of my coffee.), the club get entirely shut down and Chris Brown immediately snitch to the police, claiming Drake started it. In response, Drake and his entourage are now refusing to cooperate with the police, most likely because of all those sweet The Wire references I made. There’s no way that isn’t it. TMZ reports:
Members of Drake’s entourage are NOT talking to cops about the nightclub brawl with Chris Brown … because they do not want to become “snitches” — sources tell TMZ.
As one source put it, “We’re no running-to-the-police ass n**gas.”
In the meantime, Drake has reportedly addressed the fight during his show Saturday night albeit in the most cryptic and barely understandable way possible. Via NY Daily News:
After a couple of songs, Drake again dropped what appeared to be a reference to the scuffle. “It’s last call and you’re really too drunk to give a f—,” said Drake, wearing a long-sleeve black shirt and dark jeans.
“A n—- in the corner is standing there looking at you funny. You bump elbows with him on the way to the bathroom, but really there’s only one n—- that you got to think about.”
I honestly have no clue what the hell Drake just said, so to translate I brought in the blackest person I know. Ladies and gentleman, Gwyneth Paltrow:
Aight, niggas, let me set down this macrobiotic Chimichurri Coldplay makes me drizzle on his nuts – Aw, shit, just playin.’ – and GOOP in your eyes about mothafuckin’ Drake. Basically, this situation is about two niggas trying to drain their dang-a-langs both literally (da toilet) and metaphorically (Rihanna’s ass) but they keep bumpin’ elbows tryin’ to skeet that shit off. Some glass gets thrown, Breezy gets a boo-boo and I’m still best friends with Beyonce and HOV, so all y’all can suck my free-range, organic flaps. DJ Goopnani out.
Photos: Getty, Bauer-Griffin