Dr. Phil injects himself into Britney Spears’ trainwreck (Medical humor: Hilarious!)

January 7th, 2008 // 98 Comments

Britney Spears was released from Cedars-Sinai hospital on Saturday. The hospital no longer viewed her to be a danger to herself after her Thursday night meltdown and took Britney off 5150 hold. In the midst of all this, Dr. Phil somehow gained access to her room and supposedly counseled Britney. Here’s the statement he issued to Entertainment Tonight:

“My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her.”

However, Britney’s meeting with Dr. Phil was all her parents’ idea and she was blindsided by the visit, according to TMZ:

Sources say Phil tried speaking with Spears for about 15 minutes — not an hour as Dr. Phil’s press release states — but she wanted none of it. We’re told Phil was doing almost all the talking. As for walking with her to the car on her way out — again, as his release states — we’re told if he was walking behind her, that’s news to her. She absolutely was not accompanied by him.

Several psychiatrists are shocked that Cedars-Sinai would allow Dr. Phil to have access to a patient that is not under his care. Dr. Phil is also angling to have a TV intervention with Britney which prompted many psychiatrists to air their grievances with TMZ:

One psychiatrist called it “intrusive and inappropriate.” Another shrink told us the hospital “is supposed to be a safe place. If the patient doesn’t want to see someone, that person doesn’t get in — period.”
One doc surmised bluntly the hospital was “star struck” and let the TV doctor’s profile override its judgment.
One shrink said splashing a private medical matter on TV and saying it’s an intervention — especially without the proper medical diagnosis — is no way to run a railroad.

You gotta admire the cojones on Dr. Phil. He seriously believes he can just walk into a gigantic ball of crazy and make everything all better: “Hey, everybody, I’m going to cure Britney Spears with a good ol’ fashioned talking to. Some might say I’m drunk with power, but, really, I’ve got this covered. She can’t be that craz- – Fuck my moustache! She bit my foot! I have rabies now don’t I? Fantastic…”

UPDATE: Dr. Phil is no longer airing a special on Britney Spears, according to TMZ.

Photo: Getty Images
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  1. dusty

    for fucksake, thanks for posting a giant pic of Dr Phil, i almost managed not to projectile vomit on my moniter when i saw it.

  2. D. Richards (Right.)

    #48.. Shut-up. Ha!

    Try not to be so boring next time.

  3. 10pound

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  4. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    #50? You know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to get a Phd in medievel law; then, you know what I’m gonna do?

    I’m going to start operating on people.

    Hey! I’ll be a doctor.

  5. mkell

    #54: No, you’ll be a surgeon.

  6. em

    Dr. Phill has beautiful teeth. what a handsome mouth

  7. D. Richards (Lover.)

    #54? You’re misuderstanding my facetiousness.

    With my Doctorate in medieval law, I will then be qualified to perform neurosurgery [because] of my Phd in bullshit medievel law.

    I’ll be a doctor; and a doctor’s a doctor, no matter what type, right?

  8. Madge

    A PhD requires more schooling than an MD, so you don’t know what you’re talking about! Most folks get an MD to be a clinician (see patients) while you would want a PhD mostly for research.

    “Dr.” Phil (I believe the medical community should have denounced him a long time ago) is a whore. He’ll do anything for ratings, air anyone’s dirty laundry and call it therapy. All he gives a crap about is money. Britney is tailor made for him, whether mommy, daddy, sissy or Brit is on the show. Hell, he could dig up a 5th cousin twice removed and still get the ratings… and you know, he probably will.

  9. Son-of D. Richards

    #55** My ‘bad’.. I was too busy masturbating to transexuals to be completely accurate – and I made a mistake. I will try, harder. I promise.

  10. Ice-cold Speculum

    Go to med school, see the “education” for yourself. And be scared, be very scared. Rapid-fire load-and-dump testing of mindlessly memorized facts, followed by “I’m the boss of you!” residency training, with nothing taught in depth. Medical doctors have quick minds and prescription pads, not brilliant analytical problem-solving skills. They’re held in high esteem because their customers are sick and often worried or afraid, and grateful for any help with all that. A good mechanic has a better mind.

  11. D. Richards (Hands.)

    #58? You are completely missing my fucking point, asshole.

    If you’re not schooled in a medical field; but have a doctorate still; what makes it posible for you to operate, or do therapy?

    And, I could go out right now, if I had the smarts, complete a fucking mind-blowing dissertion and, wham (!), have a Phd..

    Just because you have a Phd doesn’t mean you can do medicine. Anus.

  12. 21st century digital boy

    I love it how all these predatory leeches smell opportunity and just dive right in. What a “brilliant” psychological assessment from Mr. Celebrity TV Doctor. As a non-famous, non-friend-of-Oprah, I myself was ready to pronounce Britney sound of both mind and of body. Thank God for Dr. Texas McShouty. Thank God he decided to selflessly force his way into the spotlight and risk all that media exposure out of the goodness of his heart.

  13. Ron Jeremy has a PhD… pretty hairy dick.

  14. jesus...

    “If you’re not schooled in a medical field; but have a doctorate still; what makes it posible for you to operate, or do therapy?”

    Therapy is a behavioral treatment, not a medical treatment. Decades ago licensing boards recognized that and dropped medical training as a requirement. I wouldn’t go to a psychologist for surgery, but if I had a choice I wouldn’t go to a psychiatrist for therapy. They’re among the worst therapists, and as a group they graduate in the bottom of their medical school classes (that’s not a joke, look it up).

  15. Ript1&0

    Thank fucking christ you are back DR… Where the hell’ve you been all weekend man? At one point I found myself almost talking to Binky. Almost. That was a low moment.

    But I stayed strong. And now here you are again, yay! And Dr. Phil is a complete duck fucking quack who should be fucked in the ass and killed.

  16. Ivy

    His eyes look like turtle eyes. Also, it looks like he has either really bad dentures, or poorly-done, obvious-looking bonding work. Dr. Phil’s wife is so ugly with her freaky, beady little eyes.

  17. #65 – In that order? I wouldn’t mind him being killed first then fucked in the ass. No mercy on the duck fuckers.

  18. EuroNeckPain

    I wonder where he bought his teeth.
    Teeth of a 18 year-old in a the mouth of a fiftysomething or sixtysomething. Weird looking, indeed.
    He should buy a new skin for his face, now.

  19. Dr. Phil is not even a doctor, is he?

    “Now LISTen biATCH…YOU gotta TAKE these PROBlems and FIX them!” / “Oh, thank you Dr. Phil, why didn’t I think of that?!”

    I’m going to by his diet book. I want a body like Dr. Phil has.

    Britney should click my name for real healing.

  20. danielle :)

    OMG. . .”Dr. Phil” is such a publicity whore. I cannot believe that he was granted access to meet with Britney. I don’t care who you are – a hospital is supposed to be a safe place. I feel sorta bad for Britney, because she’s being used by people night and day for publicity. Seems like people just wanna make some money off of her and throw her away when their done. Pretty sad, but I guess that’s the price you pay for being her. Dr. Phil wants to go down in history for staging an intervention for britney. I’m sure he’ll go as far to say that he “saved her from imminent death by doing this intervention with her”. He’s such a tool. Britney’s genuinely sick and needs someone to stick up for her and be there for her – not gain publicity from her.

  21. FCS

    I find it interesting that a certian group of posters on here constantly make references to being fucked in the ass. Kinda makes you wonder doesn’t it? Repress much boys? Let it all out, the bad preist cant’ hurt you anymore…

  22. A Certain Group of Posters

    well, FCS, since you asked…

    Ted pulled the trim young body close, stroking his back
    and ass. Bob felt the warmth of Ted’s body against his
    own. He felt his own hard cock pressing into Ted. He
    felt Ted’s thicker hard cock pressing back. He reached
    between them, found the hard shaft and began stroking
    it, rubbing it against his belly. Ted resumed kissing
    Bob. Almost immediately the two were feverishly
    tonguing each other’s mouth. Ted took Bob’s cock,
    pulled it to his own, then held both cocks in his hand
    and squeezed them together. Bob’s cock felt the warm,
    hard cock. Ted continued this double jack off for
    awhile as they kissed.

    Ted rolled over on top of Bob. Bob looked down his
    belly and saw the two cocks; Ted’s on top of his. Ted
    rocked back and forth, rubbing his cock on top of Bob’s
    as Bob watched in excitement. He watched as Ted applied
    lubricant to the thick cock, liberally greasing the
    dark red head.

    He tensed with anticipation and anxiety as Ted lifted
    Bob’s legs to gain access to the virgin ass hole. Bob
    felt Ted’s finger rubbing lube around the ass hole
    then slide in. Ted slid his finger in and out a few
    times, as he did this he stroked Bob’s hard cock. Then
    Ted brought his own large cock to replace the finger.
    With gentle firm prods, Ted pressed against the
    puckered hole. The head of Ted’s cock slowly spread
    the opening a little more with each slight push. Bob
    tried to push his ass into the cock, anxious to feel
    it inside of him.

    Bob winced as the head finally gained entry. Ted
    paused to let the ass hole adjust then pressed in a
    little more of his cock. The cock now moved more
    easily. Ted began slowly fucking Bob’s ass and at the
    same time stroking Bob’s cock.

    “You like it Bobbie? You like my big cock in your
    sweet ass?”

    “Oh god yes. Oh shit it feels so big in my ass.”

    “That’s because you’ve got the tightest ass I’ve ever
    fucked. And the hardest cock. Shit your cock is like
    a rock.”

    “Fuck me. I want to be fucked!”

    Ted could feel Bob’s ass hole tighten around his cock.
    He pressed deeper on each stroke so that he was soon
    burying the full length of his cock in Bob’s ass. He
    rubbed some more lube on the shaft of his cock, then
    began fucking faster. He looked down at Bob beneath
    him. Even without his dress, he still looked gorgeous.

    His makeup was still quite good, his shoulder length
    blond hair, his delicate features. And the kid was a
    virgin! Ted was in heaven.

    Once Ted added the additional lube and had buried all
    of his cock in Bob’s ass, Bob started to feel really
    good. He could feel the thick shaft as it moved in and
    out of his ass, he could feel the huge balls slap
    against his ass. He liked it! He loved it!

  23. D. Richard's Husband

    I find it almost inconcievable that one person in this country would take Dr. Phil (him in the ass to the brink) seriously. I would listen to D. Richards before I would take that fraud’s advise. And before I would listen to Little Richard, I would pull my own ears off and fill my ear holes up with sewage.

  24. #72 – That is WAAAAAAY too much thought to prove #71 right.

    #71 – What? Do you shift in your seat everytime anal is brought up? Does it recall those dark night sin the county jail, when Fridays meant a Monday hearing and therefore a (ahem) looong weekend, and no fewer than six ass reamings a night by the serial farm animal rapist accidentally (ahem) holed up with you? I really do have serious issues with duck fuckers.

  25. sameshitdifferentyear

    Stupid bald fat hillbilly fuck.

    Oh, and Dr. Phil is a fucking asshole too.

  26. FCS

    #74 When someone tells you you might have repressed homosexual fantasies you probaby shouldn’t respond with 5 more lines of graphic homosexual fantasies. Actually being funny might help too. But hey at least you make everyone else look that much smarter.

  27. D. Richards (Pedo.)

    #64? I’m not even going to waste my time responding to you.. You don’t get it. Period.

  28. whatever

    Dr. Phil is a gigantic fucking vagina. A complete and total ignorant asshat. Him and Oprah deserve each other. They’re both stupid fucking cunts.

  29. #76 – I’ll take that as a yes. And wait a second… I’m just running this geigermeter over your last 978624575 comments… nope… nothing funny there. Maybe this thing’s broken… let me cram it up your ass and kick it a few times to get it going again…

    And what do you mean I’m “you probaby”? I’ll have you know I’d rip the little fuckers out with rust pair of tweezers if I could.

  30. D. Richards (Meaningless.)

    Frist! Hey, g’rl! I was around all weekend. I even responded to you. I think.

    I should give you my e-mail address. One I never use, so the cretins won’t have a closer place to send their put-downs and complaints.

    I could figure your e-mail address out, then send you the address I use on a daily basis! How’s that appear? Yes! Awe, shit.

    P.S. I’m a real sweetheart in life. (Wink.)

  31. BaldAsBritney

    #76 how did I know you would work “cram it up your ass” in there somewhere. Dude you got problems. Just come out already. Your not fooling anyone.

  32. terry

    I am soooo sick of reading about almost nothing else but Britney. It’s like the world revolves around her. That’s probably why she’s so messed up. Can you just take a little break from it all or I am done with this site.

  33. tanya

    Nice fake chompers on ya there Dr. Phil.

  34. Oprah

    To be honest for once, I have to say it’s sooooo right that a thread about Dr. Phil contains gay porn.

  35. BunnyButt

    #36, Did you mean Mr. Hanky from South Park?

  36. feg

    big fucking tool. I hate that guy.

  37. Ript1&0

    Haha DR.

    You’re making fun of me aren’t you.

  38. mcawful

    Ugh. Nice veneers.

  39. jason

    Dr. Phil is a gigantic fucking vagina. A complete and total ignorant asshat. Him and Oprah deserve each other. They’re both stupid fucking cunts.
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  40. BethanyB

    If this guy cared about Britney, he’d intervene and NOT talk to the press about it. That’s what REAL therapist do – keep you stuff a secret.

    Dr. Phil is even crazier than Britney.

  41. D. Richards (Ass.)

    No. Why you think I’m making fun of you?

    I’m serious – BombsAndLimbs@aol.com – yes!

  42. starship

    “Dr.” phil is a total ass-clown tool attention-whore cunt. Just like all the other principals in this story! BTW, doesn’t oprah use his head as a butt-plug?

  43. He’s suck. Someday he will be a loser. Worse than Brit!

  44. Bobby

    Looks like he got the botox and wax special.

  45. tim

    Baje fletcher is on the dr phil show on March 9th (Secrets of a Gold Digger revealed). Contrary to the image the show is trying to paint her in, Baje’s #1 goal is to empower women letting them know that they dont have to sacrifice their bodies to get what they want. She wrote a book called A Gold Digger’s Guide (how to get what you want without giving IT up). In this book she discusses unconventional ways to get money out of men (the type of men who try to get over on women)

    You can reserve a copy with no money down at AGoldDiggerGuide.com

  46. Got news for you buddy, for the originator of this slam against will and Scientology. You ARE Darth Vader.

  47. If i am not mistaken Dr. Phil is doctor of love right?

  48. Yeah i think his the one. Freaky face isn’t it ? lol

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