Dr. Phil injects himself into Britney Spears’ trainwreck (Medical humor: Hilarious!)

January 7th, 2008 // 98 Comments

Britney Spears was released from Cedars-Sinai hospital on Saturday. The hospital no longer viewed her to be a danger to herself after her Thursday night meltdown and took Britney off 5150 hold. In the midst of all this, Dr. Phil somehow gained access to her room and supposedly counseled Britney. Here’s the statement he issued to Entertainment Tonight:

“My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention. She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her.”

However, Britney’s meeting with Dr. Phil was all her parents’ idea and she was blindsided by the visit, according to TMZ:

Sources say Phil tried speaking with Spears for about 15 minutes — not an hour as Dr. Phil’s press release states — but she wanted none of it. We’re told Phil was doing almost all the talking. As for walking with her to the car on her way out — again, as his release states — we’re told if he was walking behind her, that’s news to her. She absolutely was not accompanied by him.

Several psychiatrists are shocked that Cedars-Sinai would allow Dr. Phil to have access to a patient that is not under his care. Dr. Phil is also angling to have a TV intervention with Britney which prompted many psychiatrists to air their grievances with TMZ:

One psychiatrist called it “intrusive and inappropriate.” Another shrink told us the hospital “is supposed to be a safe place. If the patient doesn’t want to see someone, that person doesn’t get in — period.”
One doc surmised bluntly the hospital was “star struck” and let the TV doctor’s profile override its judgment.
One shrink said splashing a private medical matter on TV and saying it’s an intervention — especially without the proper medical diagnosis — is no way to run a railroad.

You gotta admire the cojones on Dr. Phil. He seriously believes he can just walk into a gigantic ball of crazy and make everything all better: “Hey, everybody, I’m going to cure Britney Spears with a good ol’ fashioned talking to. Some might say I’m drunk with power, but, really, I’ve got this covered. She can’t be that craz- – Fuck my moustache! She bit my foot! I have rabies now don’t I? Fantastic…”

UPDATE: Dr. Phil is no longer airing a special on Britney Spears, according to TMZ.

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. mary roma

    At least someone is trying to help the poor girl–she needs to be out of the spotlight for a year or something. First!

  2. Whatever. They call me Dr Fill… as in fill Britney’s ass. With my johnson.

    I can see how it went with the good doctor saying, “well ok Britney, you seem to be a proper whore, what’s makes you suck every penis you come in contact with”, with Britney gasping, making a choking sound, then looking up at him as she frees her mouth, saying “Mah momma told me nevah to talk with mah mouth full…”

  3. Wasn’t Britney released from the hospital by the time Dr Phil visited? That means that the hospital has no right to deny anyone visitation rights – she wasn’t their patient anymore.

    At least someone is helping her. I think she needs someone telling her the truth, and I’m not surprised she didn’t want to hear it.

  4. PatinNj

    He’s a big phony and will be of no help to her.

    She seems to have bipolar and could use 20mg /day of Abilify. There you go, that’s the answer. And I don’t even play a doctor on TV!

    Perez, nice appearance on M&J’s show.

  5. Dr. Phil is counseling Britney?
    no wonder she’s all $&#*#@ up!

  6. boo

    He’ll tell her to “get real”. That should do the trick.

  7. No thanks Phil.
    Orka is calling.
    Love the hair cut.

  8. Kaiser

    what cajones? CAJONES means DRAWERS (on a desk for example)
    If you´re talking about “HAVING BALLS” you meant “TENER COJONES” ;)

  9. Annabel

    What? No spammers yet? I kinda miss them. And Dr. Phil sucks, by the way.

  10. Auntie Kryst

    Wow, he made his diagnosis within 15 minutes. Truly he is a credit to his profession. Get a clue, he’s not there to help her. He’s as big of a media whore as she is.

  11. Buttskunk

    Britney will need even more help after talking to this freak.

  12. null

    jeffrey tambor was born to play the “good” doctor in a viciously dark comedy biopic, wherein the “doctor” is really a cannibal sex fiend.

  13. Mr. Honest

    Have you read my booook?

  14. iburl

    Dr. Phil is a lump. Oprah will pay the price of eternal damnation for foisting this meathead on us.

  15. #8 – Thanks for the Spanish lesson… chupa pinga.

  16. Shallo Val

    I love you Fish but in this day and age you’d think you could spell “cojones” correctly. Jeezuz!

  17. Shallow

    sorry fish….(looking guilty)

  18. Prometheus

    Trash Britney all you please, Dr. Phil is a far worse plague on society. A known quack who will exploit or attach himself to any tragedy to make a buck. The man is scum.

  19. hairdresser to the stars

    He’d be cute WITH hair and WITHOUT the porn mustache.

  20. asedfds

    “at least someone’s trying to help britney.” please.

    the only person dr. phil is trying to help is himself.

  21. Grobpilot

    Dammit! Monday morning and the first thing we see is big head shot of Dr. Phil? Christ, you could have at least photo-shopped him into a bikini for us. I’m depressed.

  22. laziness

    Uh, you’re about 3 days late with this info. Maybe you should try posting on the weekends every once in a while. This post is a recap of all of the Perez and TMZ posts from over the weekend. OLD NEWS!

  23. D. Richards (Ugh.. Serious.)

    Yes. No wonder Britney doesn’t want to have anything to do with her parents; Britney’s having a fucking meltdown; Britney’s family is going with the biggest ratings producing, money making scheme they can cultivate.

    ‘Ya’ know that ‘Dr.’ Phil guy? Yeah, Oprahs ass-slut. I know, right?! What if, we – Is he a real doctor? Look, the guy calls himself ‘Dr.’ Phil.. Of-course he’s a doctor, silly – Right.. What if, as a family, we have an intervention (…) on live (…) TV? Think about the ratings! And what do ratings produce? Prolonged profile, and profit; the public will eat this story up, which will in turn make a lot of money. I know I am! Not only am I Britney’s mothers, but I’m also a genius.’

    Horrifying. What’s wrong with these flesh-bags? I’m actually disgusted a little because with the amount of money the Spears’ possess, they could have the best medical help known to mankind.

    And I’d like to remind you that, ‘Dr.’ Phil is not a real doctor. Phillip has a doctorate in psychology, but is not a medical doctor, as his name implies. And a PHd in psychology doesn’t necessarily mean the guy’s a ‘therapist’ either.

    A degree of that level in psychology serves more for a person to be a supervisor of therapists, than a therapist themself. Plus, Mcgraw must have an ‘LCSW’ (liscensed clinical social worker) in order to counsil, which he doesn’t. Point: Mcgraw’s not a therapist. He’s a quack fuck. The bastard’s not even liscensed to do therapy.

    Also, in 1989, Philip was spanked by the Texas State Board for giving a job to a client, whom he was therapizing, or whatever he does. The client was a woman, and stated that her, and Dr. Phil’s relationship was sexually motivated. Huhm.

    This is a highly unethical behavior, which gives one the impression that) A. Mcgraw isn’t the down-to earth ‘therapist’ he portays himself to be, and) B. what gives this mother-fucker the right to insinuate himself in to anybody’s life.

    It’s all about money. He side steps the boundries of real therapy in order to make money by patronizing people with real problems. Sure, the people are idiots as well, but a therapist should have morals.

    Fuck Phil Mcgraw.

  24. required

    I love you Dr. Phil!!!

  25. jt

    i didn’t know jeffrey tambor was a doctor…

  26. YOU DAMN FAGGOT, you just loooove it to be in the news. Did you gave yourself a teeth-witening-treatment? 95 percent of the assholes with a MOUSTACH are thinking their person is THE HERO!!
    Other people are not soo important, HE IS!!(that’s the way these people think)
    With other words: THESE ARE THE EGOMANIACS!!

  27. Sauron

    I know he has a show to run but still he can’t consider himself Ghandi because his teeth are too white (Indian curry).

  28. Shallow

    a few comments:

    I love Jeffrey Tambor.

    Dr Phil is cute even without the hair, but you’re right, he did it for himself.

    I heard on O & A that Britney had a humungous cocktail of no less than 150 pills over 36 hours and cocktails called Purple Monsters consisting of Vodka, NyQuil (yeah I KNOW!) and Red Bull (gross!) and THAT’s why she was in that state. The even counted off the number of pills, types of pills, and even some antacids. (Yes, I said antacids).

  29. fearsarewishes

    “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences!”

    Dr. Phil should have taken his own advice before visiting this one.

  30. Lowlands

    Britney must have been skeared of this walking vibe.

  31. jrz

    What a horses ass.

    Hay Doktur Pheel…….How boutta moustache rad for me? YEEE HAA!!!!

  32. Mr. High Standards

    A lawyer who hustles clients is an ‘ambulance chaser.’ What do you call a shrink that does that?

    Psycho Seeker
    Quack
    Nut Grabber
    Pap Shucker
    Greedy Unprofessional Mutant Asshole
    Whacko Tracker

    We need a useful descriptive phrase here.

  33. herfan

    I think Britney is a sweet girl. And a tough little cookie.

    “AN OPEN LETTER TO BRITNEY SPEARS”

    http://loveandaffection01.wordpress.com/

  34. my comment

    K-Fed feared Britney would use the pistol HE gave her
    She took 100 pills in 36 hours
    Rambling star tried to buy kids from him for $100m
    She was like something from ‘Exorcist’ in hospital

    that’s killed hundreds in America,

    BINGED on a mindbending cocktail of more prescription drugs before defying the police,

    PLEADED with Kevin to SELL her the kids for a multi-million payoff in a tearful phone call,

    FOUGHT with bodyguards to hang on to her children,

    BASHED her own head against the wall in a fit of blind rage.

    Britney took 100 pills in 36 hours
    CRAZED BRITNEY swallowed a deadly cocktail of more than ONE HUNDRED prescription tablets in the 36 hours before her custody meltdown, the News of the World can reveal.

    And the singer washed them all down with a Purple Monster– a mind-blowing home-made cocktail of vodka, American Nyquil anti-flu syrup and an energy drink like Red Bull.

    A long-term friend of the star told us: “It looks like everything in her medicine cabinet went down her neck. It seems she was only saved from falling into a coma as the drugs in her system almost counteracted each other.”

    The cocktail included:

    TWO bottles of Nyquil

    TWENTY diet pills, including her favourite brand Clenbuterol.

    EIGHTEEN herbal uppers specially ordered over the internet.

    EIGHTEEN Piriton antihistamine tablets

    TWELVE Vicodin painkillers

    TEN sleeping pills

    UP TO eight antacid reflux tabs

    ONE bottle of stomach upset mixture Pepto Bismol

    TEN Zantac tablets, an anti-hangover and indigestion drug.

    SIX Ritalin, for her attention deficit disorder issues.

    TWO empty bottles of painkiller Oxycontin, known as hillbilly heroin, were also found at her home.

    http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/0601_britney.shtml

    Best story ever.

  35. JRZ

    33–you’re a tard.

  36. Larry

    doesn’t Dr. Phil look like Hank from the Larry Sanders Show?

  37. Bland Ambition

    Why are his gums so swollen?

    Gingivitis anyone?

  38. annie d

    Hey NOW!

  39. Ted from LA

    I can’t wait for the Dr. Phil / Brittney sex tape to come out. You’allll can puuut lipstick on a piiig, up it’s stillllll a piiiig.

  40. #35 – And by ‘tard, you mean stray bullet target, right?

  41. jrz

    by tard I mean SUV bait.

  42. I love Dr. Phil. Therapy is for pussies. Dr. Phil gives all these whiners what they need, a slap in the face. The best part is that he works in this field without being a pussy himself. Loads of patients have complained about his harsh personality, health organizations have investigated fraud charges, and best of all he fucked a hot but crazy 19 year old patient. Have you ever fucked a hot teen psycho? Best sex ever. She doesn’t even have to be all that hot, actually – it’s that good. Plus, when she tries to press charges afterwards about inhuman sexual acts, you can just say she’s delusional. Vulnerable women are the absolute best one-nighters. I bet that’s what Dr. Phil was setting up when he visited Britney. Gotta love the guy!

  43. LL

    Just a couple days ago, I was thinking, “You know, what this story needs is an even bigger attention whore than Britney to make it even sadder and more annoying.”

    See, dreams do come true. If Oprah does a special “Britney intervention” show, well then, I can die happy.

  44. #33 – It’s been confirmed. You’re a ‘tard. And by ‘tard I mean alligator feed.

  45. jrz

    What’s that fucking circle stickin out the side of Dr. Phil’s head? Did someone put the bullseye askew again? DAMMIT!

    And by ‘tard I mean compost pile material.

  46. bangthegenius

    #23, D. Richards again with the perfect measure of insight and spite.

    he got his PhD (NOT M.D.) from the “esteemed” University of North Texas. As far as I’m concerned, this whoring, stillborn walrus is accredited to take care of my cats and (maybe) put gas into my car.

  47. bangthegenius

    furthermore, just to highlight his credibility as a money whore…this disgusting fat piece of shit has a DIET book, doesn’t he? how in the hell did he get a publisher for that?

    Dr. P: “yes, I know I am a loathesome corpulent moustache-y barnacle on society’s ass who eats pizza and chocolate all day, but this is theoretically how one could be thin”

    publisher: “fantastic”

  48. Ugh. (Don't Ever Get Serious Again, D. Richards)

    “Licensed Therapist” is a title that can be used by people who have at least a Master’s degree in counseling or clinical psychology, a certain amount of supervised clinical training experience, and a passing grade on the licensing exam. These days, most therapy is delivered by masters-level staff because they have the lowest salaries of all the people who provide therapy (managed care). People with Ph.D.’s in clinical psychology have broader training, including doing clinical research, and are eligible to start a private practice if they want to (they can get health care provider numbers for insurance purposes). Same deal for M.D. psychiatrists, except they have far less experience in therapy by the time they can hang out a shingle, since they’ve spent (wasted) tons of time in other required medical rotations. Under managed care, your vaunted “medical doctor” therapists (psychiatrists) mostly do 10-minute “med visits” to monitor patients receiving medications they prescribed. Psychiatrists have the highest salaries by far and chaining them to a desk to do hours of “med visits” maximizes the billing that can be done to offset those salaries. Unless they’re in private practice, they don’t do much therapy. Very few people are in private practice these days (insurance costs are too high, billing is too much of a hassle, etc.), and group practices are set up with the shrink writing the ‘scripts, the psychologists doing treatment assessments and some therapy, and masters-level therapists doing most of the therapy. By the way: lots and lots of studies have shown that the academic training and credentials of the person delivering therapy has virtually no influence on the outcome of the therapy (how much better the patient gets). Good therapists are good, bad ones are bad, from the beginning of training onward through years of practice (personality characteristics are crucial).

    Just so you know, in case you ever go all psycho-like.

  49. MindRiot

    Phil is a tool, mmKay….

  50. mkell

    Dr. Phil’s a total ass-clown and one of the world’s biggest buttinskies. I am, however, pretty sick of hearing “Oh, he/she’s not a REAL doctor” just because someone holds a doctorate in something besides internal medicine. Guess what? People were “real doctors” before physicians! “Doctor of Philosophy” or Ph.D. is an ancient title which precedes M.D., your so-called “real doctors.”

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