Doug Reinhardt wants to impregnate Paris Hilton

March 27th, 2009 // 82 Comments

Doug Reinhardt has heard words come out of Paris Hilton’s mouth, yet somehow believes she’d be a perfect candidate for motherhood, according to InTouch:

“Paris would make a great mom — she’s my Angel Princess. I’d love to have some mini Parises one day,” Doug told In Touch at LA’s MyHouse on March 20. “I’d love to have children, that’s what completes your life,” added Paris.

Mini Parises?! Good game, life. *inserts shotgun into mouth*

[Editor’s Note: The Superficial will be on temporary hiatus until we can find another sex robot from the future to assume writing duties. If you happen to be from the year 2056, please momentarily cease fighting the Mini Paris horde and send us a replacement unit. Thanks in advance. – Anticlown Media.]

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Paris

    Lick my festering rancid labia you worthless n i g g e r s.

  2. Jrz

    Are mini-Parises little herpe blisters?

  3. translation...

    “Paris would make a great mom — she’s my Angel Princess. I’d love to have some mini Parises one day”

    Translation: “Paris has lots of money. I want lots of money too and I don’t care how bad it burns. I’ve decided to stop looking at the smoking coming from my penis, and it has helped me psychologically. Did I mention Paris has lots of money?”

  4. why does she lean backwards all the time?

  5. Richard McBeef

    she has a freshly fucked look to her in these pics.

  6. Jeezy

    Nasty.

  7. Smarg

    A great mother. Oh yeah.

  8. the "actually" guy

    Actually, in Paris’ case a lethal reaction to anesthesia during plastic surgery is what would complete her life.

  9. Jrz

    Why’s Fish going on hiatus? Where you going Fish? Vacation?
    Zanna’s funny….and she’s sorta like a sex robot.

  10. Sauron

    Is there a law available against these kind of people!?

  11. I think he meant “little Parasites”

  12. Darth

    Paris Hilton pregnant=2nd worldwide crisis with massive herpes outbreak.

  13. Ew this is like watching a disgusting explosion of glitter land all over Hollywood.

  14. Nancy

    I’m delighted that she’s aging so poorly.

  15. me

    Someone forgot to teach the heiress that one never wears velvet before Thanksgiving or after Valentines. Declasse.

  16. Max Planck

    Keep on Truckin’….pic 4.

  17. Dont be alarm,,,Paris doesnt follow trends…Hey, speaking of trends, what the hell happen to “Thinkabell”?

  18. Laughing idiot

    Fish that was the funniest thing I have read in a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. S.

    ok, 1-2-3 shoooooooooooooooooot !

  20. Gando

    The only right treatment for the burning mouth is tongue- and skin-transplantation!

  21. LPB

    Seize Him!

  22. Jrz

    Doug Reinhart is a slingblade-lookin’ motherfucker, aint’ he?

  23. I am sure he would love it until she gave birth and then ate him like a praying mantis would… come to think of it.. she looks a bit like a mantis… it would explain the scrawney arms and the lean…

    http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

  24. Wendy

    That’s quite a flareup she’s got going on…no wonder she couldn’t fit it under her dress.

  25. As soon as the water broke, the soon to be ex fetus would pop open its eyes and upon viewing the teeth that have grown inside her vagina, would use the umbilical cord to hang on for dear life. Though it would likely find that sterile hospital air doesn’t smell like whore .

  26. KELS

    #14-MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY…THIS SKANK IS NOT AGING GOOD…SHE’S NOT EVEN 30, YET SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN HER 30s….SOME ADVICE TO PARIS- HONEY, INVEST ON SOME FACIALS AND I AIN’T TALKING ABOUT THE ONES YOUR MAN WHORE GIVES YOU EACH NIGHT.

  27. KELS

    #14-MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY…THIS SKANK IS NOT AGING GOOD…SHE’S NOT EVEN 30, YET SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN HER 30s….SOME ADVICE TO PARIS- HONEY, INVEST ON SOME FACIALS AND I AIN’T TALKING ABOUT THE ONES YOUR MAN WHORE GIVES YOU EACH NIGHT.

  28. .

    God he looks like a chimp in the first picture. Chimp face and horse face should not reproduce. I can’t beleive I’m saying this but Paris, you could do better.

  29. Jrz

    God please don’t let her ever have twins. She’ll habitually feed one twice.

  30. @9 – am not funny.

  31. #30 – Are too… odd, since you have D’s too… that would make you Are too Dees too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  32. Jrz

    DEEEEEEZ Funnies!

  33. Deacon Jones

    WTF FISH???

    Leaving? C’mon bud! What’s better than eating Micky D’s for breakfast and simultaneously jerking off and trashing skanks,,,,,other than an actual paycheck?

    Well you fuckers better find someone that’s an alcoholic pervert, or there’s going to be problems

  34. sapphire eyes

    Well, it’s his funeral … too bad it won’t be Parisite’s too.

  35. Jrz

    Fish, Richport is funny and a dancing machine…not a sex robot.

  36. mrs.t

    I am getting a little slingblade from Doug, but even more than that, I just see a cokeheaded dick. Could be the same thing, though…..

  37. Maybe the current Mr Fish is Black and offended by the racialization of these threads…

    Or maybe they ended his beer stipend.

  38. @31 – DEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ NUTSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

  39. RichPort's Ghost

    #35 – I’m neither. I’m a cocksucking faggot with emotional problems, bad skin and a whole lotta gay in me.

    Other than that, I’m the cat’s meow.

    And by “cat’s meow”, I mean an execrable enema-eating egghead.

    “SHUT UP MOM, I’LL LOG OFF OF AOL WHEN I’M DONE!!! AND HEY, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BUY MORE FRUIT ROLL UPS!?!?!”

  40. RichPort's Ghost's Troll's Troll....I think

    I’m an asshead.

  41. @39, whoever you are, you are DEFINATELY a cock sucking faggot.

  42. Jrz

    they’re a sock fucking cabbage

  43. Rush Limbaugh

    Paris will probably have kids solely to market a purse that can be used to carry children.

  44. feckless

    Fish had to take off for Cesar Chavez Day? Who knew? Anyway, Trailer Trash Ken is an improvement over Uncle Fester so good on Paris. If she has kids, they’ll have to hang in nets in the basement for awhile so there will be that small window of opportunity to use an anti-viral on them.

  45. #43 – You assume she’s intelligent… cute.

    Zanna, #39 was just sick and tired of me repeatedly smacking around his fake soldier ass. He served two tours on DEEEEEZ nuts. And he smells a wee bit walrusy.

  46. fashiondish

    Hey Paris- the 80′s called–they want their dress back.

  47. jay

    Who is this Doug guy ?

  48. Fuck U

    God her feet are huge!
    I’m glad Fish is leaving…he’s an asshole anyway and sooo NOT funny.

  49. lacie

    Her feet are so ugly icky. I’m so tired of seeing stuff about her

  50. Oh geez sounds like he’s pulling a k-fed and insuring a life time of luxeries galore by fathering some Hilton kiddies. He’ll be on a tropicle isle in 2 years with a different chick blowing thru Hilton cash. Gosh she’s so stupid this guy is such a player in every sense of the word!

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